
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/241439.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Rape/Non-Con, Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Harry_Potter_-_J._K._Rowling
  Relationship:
      Harry_Potter/Severus_Snape
  Additional Tags:
      Child_Abuse, Abuse_of_Authority, Teacher-Student_Relationship, Drama,
      Angst, Romance, AU, OOC
  Collections:
      HPFandom
  Stats:
      Published: 2011-08-18 Words: 60012
****** The Way Home ******
by Eriador117
Summary
     Written as gift fic for Littleroo based on her plot bunny. The
     Dursleys sold Harry when he was four years old, what happened to him?
     JK Rowling owns the Potterverse, I am just playing in it from time to
     time. Beta'd by Rakina, thanks!
The Way Home
Part 1
Severus Snape hated staff meetings. He could think of plenty of other things to
do with his time than to sit through two hours of sheer boredom while Albus
tried to explain yet again why Severus had been denied the post of Defence
Against the Dark Arts teacher. The reasons were of course for the benefit of
the other staff. Severus and Albus both knew that if Voldemort returned,
Severus could not be the Defence teacher, because this year Harry Potter was
starting Hogwarts and it would be all too easy for the Defence teacher to hex
him accidentally in class. No, it was best for all concerned that if Voldemort
ever regained power, Severus was not in a position to damage the Potter boy.
At long last, Albus tidied up the papers on his desk and smiled benignly at all
his staff. "Thank you, everyone. That's all for today. Severus, Minerva, can
you stay for a moment, please?"
There were mutters and murmurs as the rest of the staff exited Dumbledore's
office; Sybill Trelawney looked back over her shoulder as if she was afraid of
missing out on something and Hagrid looked very grim, as he shook his shaggy
hair out of his eyes.
Once the others had gone, Albus warded the room and nodded to Minerva, who
conjured the Birth Book onto the headmaster's desk. The book was bound in
cracked leather; the gold embossing on the front flaking off in places. The
book was as old as the school and was so thick that it was difficult to see
Albus' head over the top of it if he was sitting in his chair. All three of
them were standing and staring at the book.
"I've been through it and through it, Albus. Harry Potter isn't in here."
Severus arched an eyebrow. The only child of James and Lily Potter wasn't
magical? The boy who defeated the Dark Lord wasn't magical? The Birth Book held
details of every magical child born in Britain, so if Harry Potter wasn't
there, didn't that mean he had no magic?
"But he was in there when he was born," said Albus. "You and I both saw the
entry, Minerva. He was a magical child, so why has he now disappeared from the
book?"
"I don't know, Albus. Hagrid went to Privet Drive but his relatives denied all
knowledge of him and said they'd never even seen Harry Potter."
"Then they are lying. You were there that night, Minerva. Harry was left on
their doorstep and I waited until Petunia Dursley opened the door to find him.
I saw her take him into the house. The question is why would they lie about his
existence? And why has he disappeared from the Birth Book?"
"I've lost count of how many owls have been sent, but every letter is returned
unopened. Harry Potter is not at Privet Drive, or else they are stopping him
from receiving his letters."
Albus turned to him, as Severus had known he would.
"Severus, I need you to go to Privet Drive and find out what happened to Harry
Potter. Use every means at your disposal. Every means," he stressed.
Severus nodded, although he was very surprised. Albus had just give him
permission to perform mind magic on a Muggle? Not that Severus himself would
have any qualms about using it, but it was unusual for Albus to condone an
action that had enormous risks to Muggles.
"Very well, Albus. And if I find the boy?"
"Then bring him straight back to Hogwarts."
 
***
Severus Apparated into an alleyway between Privet Drive and another of the
roads leading off it. Albus had insisted he dressed as a Muggle as the Dursleys
were well known for their dislike of anything magical. It was amazing how naked
he could feel while still covered from neck to foot in black fabric. Severus
had hardly ever gone without his robes outside of his own private chambers and
it made him feel oddly vulnerable not to have them on.
He called on Arabella Figg first of all and she confirmed that Harry Potter had
indeed been with the Dursleys up until he was around four or five years old,
because they used to leave him with her whenever they went on holiday. When
they stopped asking her to look after him, Arabella just assumed that they had
started taking Harry along with them now that he was older and could enjoy them
more.
Severus had yet to meet the Dursleys, but from Albus and Minerva's accounts
Severus wasn't convinced that Arabella's theory was the truth. If they were so
against anything magical it stood to reason that they wouldn't exactly be
enamoured of having to look after a magical child. What on Earth had possessed
Albus to leave the boy in the care of people who were so against magic in the
first place?
Severus took his leave of Arabella, refusing her offers of tea and cake, and
made his way to number four. There was a large silver car in the drive, looking
as sparkling as if it had just left the showroom that morning. The garden was
as perfect as it was possible to get without magic, although Severus did see
some browning rose petals on one bush. A net curtain twitched on one of the
front windows as he made his way up the path.
Even before Severus raised his hand to knock the door opened and a thin, bony-
faced woman stood staring defiantly at him. "Get away from here! I told the
other one we don't want any more of you freaks coming here!"
"Are you referring to me, madam?" demanded Severus with a sneer. "I am here
about your nephew, Harry Potter."
"I don't have a nephew! Get out!" roared Petunia Dursley just as Severus stuck
his foot in the doorway so that the door wouldn't close. He barged his way into
the house and as he did so, he realised that there was no way Harry Potter
could be in this house. The protective wards that would be present if the boy
was there would have prevented anyone from entering unless they'd been invited.
"VERNON!" screeched Petunia, clutching at her bony chest. "Vernon!"
Severus slammed the front door behind him, locking and warding it for good
measure. None of the Dursleys would leave until he was fully satisfied what
fate had befallen Harry Potter. Severus didn't like the turn his thoughts were
taking. Had they murdered the boy, afraid of his magic?
What sounded like a herd of erumpents descended the stairs, but in truth it was
only one very large man. He was as broad as he was tall and his squat head
seemed to sit on his shoulders without the benefit of any neck. "Get the hell
out of my house! You have no business here!"
"On the contrary, Dursley. My business is Harry Potter and I will not leave
until I find out what you did to him."
"I didn't do anything to that freak!"
"Mummy? What's wrong?" a fat head peeped out from the living room door
"Dudley! Stay in there! Don't come out!" Petunia warned her son.
"Mrs. Dursley, it would be best if you stayed with your son while your husband
and I continue our discussion."
Petunia didn't need to be told twice; she ushered her son back into the living
room and after she'd shut the door, Severus heard something being dragged along
the floor and placed up against it. Not that it would have stopped him if
Severus really wanted to get into that room.
"Discussion? I have nothing to discuss with you! Get out!" Vernon waved his
arms in a threatening gesture, but he paled and stopped gesticulating when he
saw Severus reach for his wand. "You can't do that! You can't do magic on
normal folk! It's not allowed!"
"Who told you that?" demanded Severus. What would Vernon Dursley, the most
Muggle of Muggles, know about the Secrecy Code? Vernon refused to answer, but
Severus knew he didn't need a verbal answer.
Severus raised his wand and cast the spell. "Legilimens!"
The man's mind was utter chaos; it was like trying to find a needle in a
haystack, but a haystack filled with other rubbish as well. Severus discarded
anything that didn't concern Harry Potter: Dursley getting a promotion; buying
his new car; buying a villa in Spain; his son gaining entry to Smeltings
Academy. In fact there was very little in the man's recent memories about Harry
Potter at all. Severus needed to delve deeper. Harry was around four or five
when Arabella Figg had stopped seeing him so Severus needed to go back quite a
few years.
It was difficult, recent memories were easier to access and trying to get to
the older ones was like wading through treacle, but Severus finally managed to
get through and watched as the first scene unfolded before him.
Vernon Dursley was shaking a small child by the shoulders. "Freak! Liar! I know
you ruined Dudley's comic!"
The child could only have been Harry Potter. Lily's green eyes looked out of
the frightened face. It was a face pale with stress and the boy's hair could
have been transplanted straight from James for the exact same tuft stuck up at
the back of his head, but this boy had no glasses.
"I didn't! It wasn't me, Uncle! I swear it wasn't!"
"Don't you talk back to me, boy!" snarled Vernon and he backhanded the child so
hard across the face that he slumped to the ground, his nose dripping crimson
droplets onto the floor. Harry whimpered and curled himself into a ball.
"Next you'll be telling me Dudley ripped his comic book himself!" Vernon kicked
Harry on the back and legs. "You're worthless! You'll amount to nothing! No one
loves you! No one will ever love you!"
Harry's head shot up. "He did rip it!" protested Harry. "He did!"
"Don't you dare lie to me!" Vernon punctuated each word with a kick to Harry's
ribs, by the end of it the boy was gasping for breath and silent tears were
trickling down his cheeks.
Petunia Dursley entered the kitchen with her fat son in tow. He was wearing a
smart school uniform in contrast to the large and raggedy clothes gracing his
cousin's small form.
"Vernon, I don't want him here… He can't stay here any more. The neighbours
will want to know why he isn't at school with Dudley. I'm not paying out good
money for that freak so he can think he's better than us! He has to go! It'll
cost a fortune in uniforms and books, for he's not sharing Dudley's new books."
Dudley stuck his tongue out at Harry, but Harry was too busy struggling for
breath to even return the insult.
"I'll arrange it, Petunia," said Vernon.
Harry screamed and grabbed hold of his uncle's fat leg. "Please! Don't send me
away! I'll be good! I'll be good! I promise! I promise!"
"Get your filthy hands off me!" bellowed Vernon as Harry tried desperately to
hang on to his leg.
Vernon bent down and yanked Harry's head up by his hair. "You're nothing but a
filthy, good-for-nothing freak and the sooner we're rid of you the better!
You're nothing but dirt, Potter, just like your parents!"
Severus watched appalled as Vernon spat in the child's sobbing face.
"Please! I'll be good! I'll be good!" sobbed Harry, as he sat down and wrapped
his arms around himself, the only comfort he would ever find in this house.
"Get him out of my sight!" said Petunia, stalking out and taking Dudley with
her. Vernon dragged Harry by his arms out into the hallway and then shoved him
in the cupboard under the stairs, locking it from the outside.
"Uncle?" sobbed Harry. "Uncle? Please! Please!" sobbed Harry, but his cries of
distress were ignored.
 
Part 2
Melanie Cole only knew the man as Draconis, although she knew that wasn't his
real name. What mother in her right mind would name a child Draconis? Mind you,
she remembered some of her grandmother's stories and how one mother had called
her child Tom Marvolo. What sort of name was Marvolo? Sounded like he should be
in the circus or something.
Draconis was one of her regular clients and Harry Potter was his preferred boy,
but the past few times he was complaining, as were a lot of them, that Harry
and Simon were getting a bit too old. Harry had to go, he had outlived his
usefulness, there were still a few who were interested in Simon, for at least
he was enthusiastic. Harry just lay there and let them do what they would. It
had been endearing to them when he was younger but now that he was older, they
wanted something more from him, but Harry wasn't prepared to give it. He wasn't
earning his keep and Melanie Cole was not running a charity here.
Just as she was debating what to do with the boy, a stranger arrived on her
doorstep and demanded to see the boy. Demanded to see him by name. Melanie had
panicked. Had the relatives changed their mind and were now charging her with
kidnap? Never mind the fact that she bought the boy from Vernon Dursley fair
and square. Oh, if he'd set the law on her, he wouldn't know what hit him!
But the dark stranger didn't appear to be from the law but he still insisted on
seeing the boy. Somewhere in the back of her mind, Melanie felt something, a
tendril of consciousness that wasn't her own, but it was so light that she
barely noticed it.
"Of course, come in. I'll fetch Harry right away."
***
The new boy wouldn't stop crying. Harry wasn't surprised, he well remembered
his own first few nights at the orphanage crying so hard he thought he would
choke on his own misery. The sobs from the next bed over were getting louder
and louder and grating on Harry's already frayed nerves.
"Stephen," Harry said. A brown-haired and brown-eyed child of about four or
five glanced over at him. There were rows of iron bedsteads along each wall,
but Harry didn't know how many there were, he didn't know how to count. He'd
never been to school, none of the boys here had. An inspector came sometimes,
but he spent the whole time in the matron's office and when he left he looked
very happy. "Ssh," whispered Harry. "It'll be all right."
The boy's face crumpled and he sobbed even louder.
"Can't you shut that brat up?" demanded Simon, the only boy in the orphanage
who was older than Harry. He was tall and gangly with a mop of unruly blond
hair and cold blue eyes. Harry had never liked him and he guessed the feeling
was entirely mutual, considering all the fights they'd got into over the years.
Simon had a penchant for tripping Harry on the stairs and Harry retaliated by
putting garden snakes in the other boy's bed; he knew that Simon was scared of
them.
"He's scared," said Harry as he got out of his own bed and went over to sit on
Stephen's. The curtains at the dormitory window were all closed, but there was
a gap between the two on the nearest window and muted moonlight filtered
through so it wasn't completely dark.
"If you don't stop that wailing, I'll get Matron to put you in with the girls!"
threatened Simon.
There were a few girls at the orphanage; they did go to school and did
housework around the place to earn their keep. The matron was very keen on
everyone earning their keep. Food and clothes cost money as she was wont to
point out at every opportunity and they each had a duty. Harry wouldn't have
minded doing housework, but he didn't like the way the boys had to earn their
keep.
He hoped Stephen got adopted before he had to start. Sometimes the younger
children were adopted by the people who came and visited the orphanage on
Sundays. Harry knew it was getting less and less likely that he would ever
leave the orphanage, no one wanted to adopt boys as old as him and Simon.
He'd tried to run away a few times, but he only ever made it as far as the
front gate. It was as if there was something keeping him there. So many times
he'd tried and tried to leave, but he was never able to physically get outside
the walls no matter how much he wanted to.
"Do you want me to tell you a bedtime story?" Harry asked the younger boy.
Stephen's tears dried up and he nodded, sticking his thumb in his mouth. "Scoot
over then," said Harry as he settled onto the bed beside him and began his
tale.
Simon groaned. "Oh God, not that stupid flying motorbike again, Potter!"
Harry ignored him and continued with his story until Stephen fell asleep.
***
Harry sat down at the long table for breakfast the next morning, feeling as
tired as if he hadn't been to bed at all. He'd been up half the night trying to
settle Stephen down again when the boy had woken up screaming with nightmares
and crying about being left in the dark. The dreams of the other boy unsettled
Harry too; Harry didn't like the dark either, but he couldn't remember why. He
didn't remember much of his time before the orphanage, but he knew he hadn't
always lived here.
Harry listened to the clatter of spoons and crockery and the chatter of the
others feeling very much an outsider even though they were all dressed the same
and had to endure the same things. He sighed and pressed his hand against his
forehead; the headaches were getting worse but the matron just said he needed
more exercise and she would make sure to arrange more visitors for him to make
sure he was getting enough. Harry wished he'd never told her; he hated doing
that sort of 'exercise' and she knew it, but she didn't seem to care.
Stephen sat down beside Harry and glanced warily around him at the other
children, clutching his empty breakfast bowl in his hands. Harry sighed.
"Stephen, you have to go up to the cook to get your breakfast. Come with me."
Harry led Stephen over to the hatchway where the cook was ladling out porridge
into the children's bowls. "Oh, you're a new one, aren't you?" the cook, Mrs.
Smith, smiled down at Stephen. "Here, a growing boy like you needs a big
portion, don't you?" Mrs. Smith ladled out a generous helping of porridge into
Stephen's bowl. "Any more for you, Harry?"
"No thank you, I'm full," said Harry. He'd already had two bowls already this
morning. The matron may have complained about the cost of food every now and
then, but none of them ever went hungry.
Mrs. Smith left her post and returned bearing two shiny red apples. "Something
for the two of you for later, then."
"Thank you, Mrs. Smith," said Harry as he led Stephen back down to the table.
Stephen's lower lip was trembling as if he was about to cry again.
"Do you like apples?" Harry asked, trying to deflect another round of sobbing.
Stephen nodded.
"Eat all your porridge then you can have an apple," said Harry. "Okay?"
Stephen nodded again and then began to eat the porridge as if he hadn't been
fed for days. It might well have been the case; he was very thin. Soon the bowl
was empty and Stephen started eating one of the apples.
"Here, you can have mine too," said Harry, offering him the other one. Stephen
stared for a long time at Harry's hand, as if he couldn't quite believe it was
true. "Go on, take it."
Stephen gingerly took the proffered apple and hid it in the pocket of his
smock. All the children wore the same grey smocks except on open days when they
were paraded in front of prospective parents. The matron made sure they were
all dressed in their best then, with faces freshly scrubbed and hair gleaming
from their baths. Harry hated those open days with a passion, for they made him
hope for escape, only to have it dashed again and again when no one wanted him.
"Potter!" barked the matron from behind him, almost making Harry fall off his
stool. He turned around to face her; Miss Cole was a very fat, grey-haired
woman who wore a white nurse's uniform that was so tight on her that the
buttons always looked in danger of flying off. "Get dressed in your best
clothes, there's someone here to see you."
Harry gaped at her. The only reason the children ever got so dressed up was to
impress prospective parents. Was it true? Had someone come to see about
adopting him? Harry tried not to think about it, tried not to hope but it was
difficult. "But it isn't Sunday!" protested Harry.
"He is a very important man; he can see you whatever day he likes. Now hurry
along and get dressed!"
***
The unknown man was waiting for him in the front parlour. Harry took a deep
breath before knocking on the door.
"Come in," said a deep voice and Harry pushed the door open. His feet were sore
in his shiny black dress shoes as he wasn't used to wearing them very often and
the suit made him feel as if he was wearing a straitjacket. The man standing in
front of the fireplace was so tall that Harry had to crane his neck to see his
face. He was dressed in a black suit with a white shirt and Harry couldn't help
but smile at the similarities in their clothes. The man had shoulder-length
black hair and even darker eyes. His nose was crooked and his teeth were
yellow. The eyes widened when he saw Harry.
The man clutched the mantelpiece behind him. "James?" he whispered.
"No, sir. I'm Harry. Harry Potter."
"Indeed you are. We have been looking for you for quite some time, Mr. Potter."
"Looking for me? Why would someone be looking for me?"
"You have been missing for years and I have come to take you back."
"Take me back where?"
"Home, Mr. Potter. I am to bring you home."
 
Part 3
Harry swayed where he stood; he reached out to grab hold of something - the arm
of a chair, an edge of a table, but before he could fall, strong arms were
wrapped around him and Harry realised he was sobbing as hard as Stephen had
been last night. How often had he dreamt of just this? A home somewhere? And
now this stranger was telling him that he was taking Harry home.
"You're – you're adopting me?" Harry managed to gasp out, his head resting on
the man's chest. "Matron said I was getting too old."
"I'm sorry, you must have misunderstood me. I'm Severus Snape; I'm a professor
at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. I'm to take you there. Your
guardianship will not be decided by me."
Wizardry? Harry wasn't sure he'd heard correctly.
"But you're taking me away from here?"
"Yes. We can leave as soon as you gather your things."
"Um, I don't really have anything." Harry owned nothing, even the clothes he
was standing up in belonged to the orphanage, as did every pair of socks and
underpants. None of the children had anything of their own. Presents were never
sent, it was as if once the children were here, no one from outside ever
remembered they had even existed.
"Then we should go now. Hold on tight to me."
Harry clung tightly to the man's long frame, not sure why he needed to, but
knowing instinctively all the same that it was the right thing to do. Dimly he
heard sirens in the background and wondered why the police were coming to the
orphanage, but the noise died away and Harry felt himself being dragged through
a too-tight tunnel. His ears were ringing and he was feeling sick to his
stomach before he let go and found himself lying face down on a patch of grass;
it was tickling his nose.
Professor Snape helped him up from the ground. "Are you all right, Harry?"
"Yes, sir," replied Harry as he looked around him and saw two wrought iron
gates flanked by stone pillars with some sort of animal on the top of them.
"What are those?" Harry asked, never having seen animals like that before. In
fact, he'd never been away from the orphanage and the only animals he'd ever
seen were the cats and dogs that roamed around the exercise yards.
"They're boars," said the professor. "A type of wild pig," he added and Harry
felt very stupid that he didn't even know what boars were. Professor Snape
removed a long wooden stick from his pocket; he waved it about a bit and said
some funny-sounding words. Light flared from the tip of it and the gates swung
open. Harry gaped at what he glimpsed inside the gates. An enormous castle with
hundreds of windows and a gravel path leading up to stone steps and beyond that
the largest door Harry had ever seen.
"Welcome to Hogwarts, Harry," said Professor Snape.
***
 
A week after Harry Potter's arrival at Hogwarts Severus, Minerva, Poppy and
Albus were all in the headmaster's office and were in a quandary as to what to
do with him.
"Vernon Dursley sold him to the orphanage where Tom Riddle grew up?" asked
Albus, the twinkle in his eyes dimmed from their usual blue glow. Albus looked
tired, there were purple shadows under his eyes and Severus knew most of the
others were suffering the same. It had been a frantic month trying to find the
boy and Severus still felt soiled at what he'd discovered inside Vernon
Dursley's mind.
The man was a monster; he'd been a regular on internet sites that showed films
of children being molested and he had contacted the owner of the site – someone
named Draconis – and had been put in touch with Melanie Cole's orphanage. The
woman ran a paedophile ring and the orphanage was a front. What better way to
disguise a children's brothel than to pretend it was an orphanage? The Muggle
authorities had been alerted; all the other children had been rescued and
placed with foster families or in legitimate orphanages. The Aurors had been
contacted as well, but so far the identity of Draconis remained undiscovered.
The name was unusual for a Muggle, it sounded much more like a wizarding alias
but they had no proof and what wizard would be competent with the internet
anyway?
"Yes, Albus, he sold the boy into sexual slavery. Vernon Dursley knew full well
what fate awaited Harry in that orphanage but he didn't care. All he cared
about was getting rid of him and getting some money."
"He can't be sent back to the Dursleys, Albus!" cried Poppy. "You've seen his
scans, seen all the broken bones. That boy was abused for every minute he was
in that house! Harry must have been in terrible distress for his own magic to
have healed him, for there is no record of him ever being taking to a Muggle
healer. He doesn't even remember he was ever hurt!"
"I agree, Poppy. He can't go back to Privet Drive. The protection has lapsed
anyway – he's been away too long. It is no longer his home. The only place I
feel he will be fully protected is here at Hogwarts."
"Albus, Harry has very little knowledge of the wizarding world," said Minerva.
"He doesn't even know what a wand is, never mind anything else. He can't read
or write, so how is he supposed to take lessons? I'm not sure he's up to the
task. I don't think he should be attending Hogwarts at all."
"Have you all forgotten something?" asked Severus. "That boy is the reason we
still have a wizarding world. He defeated the Dark Lord when he was just one
year old and you're worried because he can't read or write? Or that he won't
fit in because he doesn't know about the wizarding world? Reading and writing
can be taught and Muggleborns soon come to accept their magic, just like Harry
will when he discovers more about it. We're teachers, we should teach!"
"Well said, Severus," said Albus, his eyes twinkling. "I take it you're
volunteering for the task, then?"
"What? I – no that wasn't what I meant." Trust his mouth to get him into
trouble, Severus thought.
"It's an excellent idea, Severus. Harry can move into your quarters until term
starts and you'll have a bit of time to familiarise him with the wizarding
world and teach him some the three Rs."
"Move into my quarters?" spluttered Severus. He'd jealously guarded his
chambers ever since he started teaching at Hogwarts, not even the other staff
knew where they were. The boy's words came back to haunt him: Are you adopting
me?
No, he wasn't, but he might as well have been.
***
Severus collected Harry from the hospital wing where he'd been staying for the
past week and led him down to the dungeons and the portrait that guarded his
chambers. Salazar Slytherin had two snakes hanging from his shoulders and for
the first time ever, Severus saw them move and hiss at both of them.
Harry hissed back and the portrait swung open before Severus had even uttered
his password. Harry Potter could talk to snakes? Why didn't that surprise him?
"Go on in, Harry," said Severus as he waited until Harry had stepped over the
threshold before following him through to his living room.
"Have a seat, Harry," said Severus, waving Harry over to the sofa while he took
an armchair. "You've never been to school before and the headmaster would like
me to teach you how to read and write as well as familiarise you with the way
things are here in the wizarding world. You are not expected to know
everything, no one does; only someone who is incredibly stupid would ever claim
to have absolute knowledge. We all learn things every day. You will be staying
here with me until school starts in September and then you will share the boys'
dormitory."
"Like at the orphanage?" asked Harry, squinting a little in the dimly-lit room.
Did the boy need glasses, Severus wondered.
"No, Harry. This school is not like the orphanage. It is a school and only a
school. You will not be required, as I believe Miss Cole put it to you, to earn
your keep."
Severus could almost see the boy's mind working. "But books and uniforms and
everything cost money, don't they? I have to earn my keep somehow!" protested
Harry and Severus realised it was not going to be that simple even though he
was now out of the clutches of Melanie Cole and her cohorts. Harry had been
brainwashed into thinking what he had been doing was normal and he didn't know
any differently yet.
"Harry, your parents left you money in their bank vaults which will pay for
your education. No other type of payment is required, ever. Do you understand?"
Harry nodded, but Severus wasn't sure that it had sunk in. "So – so my parents
are really dead then?"
"Yes, Harry. I'm sorry."
"I wished for it all the time… that I had parents. That they'd come and take me
out of there. I tried to run away, but I never could."
"They caught you?"
"No, it wasn't that. When I got to the front gate I couldn't go out of it, even
if it was open. I just couldn't move any further."
Severus nodded. "It sounds like a magical barrier was keeping you there. I
think Draconis was a wizard and wanted to make sure you stayed."
Harry shuddered. "He – he was a wizard? That's why he could – could make me do
those things?"
"What things?"
But Harry refused to answer. Severus knew it would be difficult to talk about
the things Harry had gone through there and he wasn't expecting Harry to talk
about it anytime soon. "Well, it's getting late, Harry. I'll show you to your
room and you can get some sleep."
***
Harry stared around the room in awe. It was big just for him but a bit smaller
than the dormitory at the orphanage. There was a large four-poster bed with a
dark green cover and curtains on the posts. The bed was so high off the ground
that there was a set of steps leading up to it. There was a desk and chair in
one corner and three bookcases were on one wall. Harry was looking forward to
being able to read; he'd looked at some of the picture books the girls had in
the orphanage and had always wondered what the writing underneath had said.
There were candles all around the room and Harry realised he'd not seen any
electric lights in the castle at all. Was everything here magic?
"There are some new clothes for you in the wardrobe, the headmaster and I took
the liberty of getting you some new things. Your pyjamas are underneath the
pillow and your bathroom is through there." Professor Snape pointed to another
door that Harry hadn't noticed when he first entered the room.
"Thank you, sir. It's a lovely room."
"You're very welcome, Harry. Goodnight."
"Goodnight," said Harry and stood staring at the bed when the professor had
left. The room was gorgeous and it was much too generous; Harry didn't deserve
it. He didn't deserve all these fine things and he knew that no matter what
Professor Snape had said, he was going to expect some form of payment for
everything he was doing for Harry.
Harry resolved that he would earn his keep and give the professor no reason to
send him away.
 
Part 4
The first night he stayed in the professor's quarters Harry slept better than
he had done in years. As he opened his eyes next morning, he yelled in surprise
when he saw a strange little creature with floppy ears opening the curtains of
his bed and then trying to pull down Harry's bedclothes. Was he still dreaming?
The door was flung open and Professor Snape stood there with a worried
expression on his face. "Harry, are you all right? Binky, do not come into Mr.
Potter's room uninvited."
The small creature's eyes welled up with unshed tears. "Binky is sorry, Master
Snape. Binky is not meaning to upset the young master." There was a crack and
then the creature disappeared.
"I'm sorry about that, Harry. I should have warned you about the house elves.
They are every excited to have someone new to look after. When we get your
wand, you will be able to summon them if you need them for anything."
"Those are elves?" asked Harry. They looked nothing like the elves he'd seen in
the picture books at the orphanage.
"Ah, I gather you've been seeing some Muggle picture books? Muggles have a
rather romantic ideal of elves; they are not tall and to most they are not
considered remotely handsome."
"Oh," said Harry.
"Breakfast will be ready once you are washed and dressed," said Professor
Snape, before leaving the bedroom and closing the door softly behind him. Harry
felt very foolish that the elf had frightened him and a bit upset that it
looked like it had been going to cry.
He climbed down from the bed and made his way over to the door the professor
had pointed out last night. The bathroom was about half the size of the
bedroom; the floor was tiled in a chessboard effect of black and white. A large
sunken bath took up the middle of the room, along with a free-standing shower
in one corner. Harry didn't want to keep the professor waiting, so he went to
the toilet and had a short shower, but was hoping he would get to try out the
bath sometime as well.
As the professor had said, new clothes in his size were hanging up in the
wardrobe and folded neatly in the drawers underneath it. Harry picked out a
pair of blue jeans and a white t-shirt but he didn't bother with a robe for the
moment. How had they known what size of clothes would fit him? Maybe the
clothes were magical and fitted to the wearer? That made more sense to Harry.
There was a mirror on the wardrobe door and although his hair had been washed,
it was still as flyaway as ever and no matter how hard he combed it; it just
wouldn't stay flat.
"I don't think that's going to work, dearie," said a voice. Harry whirled
around, but there was no one in the room.
"Who's there?" he demanded, feeling his heart slamming hard against his ribs.
Had someone been in the room all night with him? "Who's there?"
"I'm the mirror, dearie."
The mirror could talk? And could see him? Harry resolved to get dressed in
future with the wardrobe door firmly shut.
When Harry entered the living room a small dining table and two chairs had been
set up near the fireplace, which hadn't been there last night. The table was
covered with enough food for a small feast; Harry saw plates of fruit, bowls of
cereal and porridge along with toast, marmalade, jams and jugs of juice and
coffee.
The children had never been starved at the orphanage, but the food had nearly
always been the same: porridge for breakfast, cheese sandwiches for lunch and
beef and potatoes for dinner. Harry couldn't even remember the last time he'd
had jam or even toast for that matter.
Professor Snape was sitting by the table reading a newspaper, but he set it
down to one side once he'd seen Harry. "What would you like, Harry?" asked
Snape, waving him into the empty chair.
Harry sat down and felt sure his eyes must be bugging out of his head as he
looked at the spread laid out before them. "Um, may I have some toast and jam
first?"
"Of course. We have strawberry, raspberry or blackcurrant. Is this enough or
did you want a cooked breakfast as well?"
"No, sir. This is fine for me."
A cooked breakfast? Wouldn't that have been porridge? Harry reached for two
slices of toast and one of the little pots containing the jam before spreading
it in a thick wedge over his toasted bread. He wasn't sure which flavour of jam
it was, but it was bright red, so he guessed it must either have been the
raspberry or strawberry and it was so sweet that he almost could feel his teeth
ache. They never got much sugar at the orphanage, for Miss Cole didn't want to
waste money on having to take them all to the dentist.
"How did you sleep?"
Harry swallowed his mouthful of toast. "Very well, thank you, sir."
"Did you brush your teeth this morning?" Snape sipped some coffee and stared
straight at him. Harry had the impression the man would be able to tell when
someone was lying.
"Um, no I was waiting until after breakfast. Food tastes funny if you brush
your teeth first."
Snape arched an eyebrow at him. "Indeed. Well, just make sure you brush them
later then."
"Yes, sir," said Harry, feeling it would be in his best interests to obey.
"After breakfast we will be going to Diagon Alley to get your wand. It would be
best if you wore a robe over your clothes. It is not considered entirely decent
to wander about in public without one. We can Apparate again, or we can take
the train, although that would take longer."
"Oh, can we go on the train? I've never been on a train," said Harry. He was
also not entirely comfortable with how Apparating had made him feel the last
time. At least then, he hadn't known what was coming, but now he knew how awful
it made him feel and he'd be worrying about it beforehand he certainly didn't
want to travel that way.
"Train it is then," said Snape.
***
 
Severus had never seen anyone so enthusiastic about seeing the Hogwarts Express
before. As they waited on the platform at Hogsmeade Station, Harry was standing
by the edge of the track and glancing up and down while they waited for the
train. They heard the whistle long before the train came into view. Harry
turned and gave Severus an enormous smile. "It's coming! It's coming!" he
cried, his face flushed with excitement. The boy's joy was infectious and
Severus couldn't help smiling back, although he would never admit it to his
colleagues.
They soon settled themselves on the train and when the trolley came round,
Severus delighted in buying every item of confectionery it stocked. Harry
hadn't seen any of them before and from what he'd said about his time in the
orphanage; he had never eaten Muggle sweets either. It was wonderfully
refreshing to see the child's face light up with delight when he opened his
chocolate frogs. No matter what had happened to him, Harry was still a child
and still had a child's innocence too. Severus was determined that Harry would
keep it for a good while longer.
"These are so funny!" giggled Harry as his chocolate frogs hopped around the
carriage and he had to run after them in order to catch them to eat. Harry
stared at the pictures on the cards and then handed them to Severus asking
shyly, "Can you tell me what it says?"
Severus lifted up the first card. "Albus Dumbledore. Currently Headmaster of
Hogwarts. Considered by many the greatest wizard of modern times, Dumbledore is
particularly famous for his defeat of the dark wizard Grindelwald in 1945, for
the discovery of the twelve uses of dragon's blood, and his work on alchemy
with his partner, Nicolas Flamel. Professor Dumbledore enjoys chamber music and
tenpin bowling."
"Ooh, he's famous," said Harry. "Are you on any of these, sir?"
"I highly doubt it," replied Severus but refused to say any more about it.
"Did you get your wand from Diagon Alley too? Are there lots of wizards there?
Was I always a wizard?"
"You ask a lot of questions, Harry."
When the boy's face crumpled and the light in his eyes dimmed, Severus wished
he'd never spoken. "Harry, that wasn't a complaint, just an observation."
"Oh," said Harry in a falsely cheerful voice. "I understand."
He was subdued for the rest of the journey and Severus was glad when they
arrived in London and could finally get out and about. Maybe once Harry had
seen the delights of the wizarding street he would be back to the excited boy
he'd been that morning.
It was only the middle of August so Diagon Alley was not yet thronged with
students getting their books and equipment. Most people seemed to do their
shopping at the last minute, but Severus wanted to make sure Harry was prepared
as much as possible before lessons started.
It was hard to reconcile this boy with the memory of James Potter. They may
have looked alike but their personalities were entirely different. Harry was
polite where James had been arrogant, especially in regards to Severus. Thought
he was a cut above because he was a pure-blood and looked down on Severus both
because the other boy was in Slytherin and because he was only a half-blood.
Harry had yet to be introduced to the politics of the wizarding world but from
what he'd seen of the boy so far, Severus didn't think Harry would care less
whether someone was a half-blood or not.
There was a group of older boys gathered outside Quality Quidditch Supplies and
as they walked along with Severus holding tight to Harry's hand, Harry seemed
to be veering towards the window display as well. Severus gave in and followed
him over. Quidditch uniforms and the latest Nimbus model were arranged
strategically at the front.
"A broomstick!" said Harry. "Does it really fly?"
"It does, Harry, but we have things to get for school before we think about
broomsticks."
"Okay," said Harry and Severus was surprised at his easy compliance. Most
children would make a token protest in order to stare and covet the thing for
much longer. It seemed that Harry was rather accepting of things. That was all
well and good if it was something that was in his best interest, but what would
happen if someone who didn't have his best interests at heart asked him to do
something dangerous? Would he just accept that too? Severus knew he was going
to have his work cut out for him in order to keep the boy safe.
Dumbledore and the Order knew it was only a matter of time before Voldemort
returned to power once more and they all knew he would be after Harry.
"Sir, can I ask you something?" said Harry as they walked towards Ollivander's.
"What is it?"
"What happened to Stephen and the others at the orphanage?"
"The police rescued them, Harry. Your friend Stephen is with a foster family
and those that couldn't be placed yet are at a proper orphanage, not like the
one you were at. You know what happened to you there wasn't normal, don't you,
Harry? They should never have done those things to you or to any of the
children. Miss Cole will probably be sent to jail."
"So - so those men will never be able to hurt Stephen? He was so little; I
don't think he would have been able to do it."
"No, Stephen is safe now, Harry. And so are you. You know you're safe now,
don't you?"
Harry squeezed Severus' hand but didn't reply.
 
Part 5
 
It was so subtle at first that Severus hardly noticed it. Harry would sit
beside him while they had their reading lessons and every so often he would
reach out and place his hand on Severus' knee, as if he'd just lost his balance
and needed to do that to steady himself. Sometimes Harry would touch him on the
arm or hug him after their lessons but Severus paid it no mind, not then. He
thought Harry was making up for the affection he'd never had at the orphanage
and if the truth was known, Severus was glad that Harry seemed to be able to
give and receive hugs without seeming scared. He should have realised there was
more to it than that and on the last night in August, he was proved right.
Both of them had dined in Severus' quarters and after the dessert plates had
been cleared away and they'd made themselves comfortable on the sofa; Harry
squeezed Severus' thigh. It wasn't a light touch, nor was it accidental. It was
a squeeze, a very forceful one. "Harry -" Severus began but before he even got
another word out, Harry had clambered into his lap and was kissing him full on
the mouth. The unexpectedness of it, the heat emanating from the boy's body had
Severus' prick quickening in his trousers and he had to stifle a groan as Harry
wriggled on top of him. There was no answering hardness in Harry's groin; he
was doing this because he thought he had to, not because he wanted it. Severus
was not those men, could never be those men despite his arousal. He knew it was
just a reaction but it was one he could and should control.
Severus pulled away, gripping Harry by the shoulders so that he couldn't kiss
him again.
"Harry, what are you doing?"
"I have to pay you back," said Harry, his eyes wide behind his new glasses.
Surprisingly, Poppy had missed the fact he was short-sighted during her medical
exam and had been worried about it ever since.
Severus watched as Harry nibbled on his bottom lip, lips that had kissed
Severus less than a minute ago. Severus imagined he could still taste them and
he licked his own, feeling shocked and aroused all at once.
"You've been so good to me. Taking me in and teaching me and everything. I have
to pay you back," Harry explained.
"Harry, we have discussed this. No payment is required and particularly not
payment of that sort. You are a child, Harry and this is wrong." Severus stood
up and set Harry down on the floor.
Harry's lower lip trembled and tears began to form and run down his cheeks.
"You - you don't like me?"
"Harry, it is not a question of liking. You are too young, much too young.
Listen to me, Harry. There are people out there who prey on children, like
those men did to you and the other children at the orphanage, but it is a very
bad thing. They abused you and took advantage of you; I am not going to do
that. I will teach you and look after you, but I do not expect any sort of
payment in return. Do you understand?"
Harry shook his head and began to sob. "I - I don't know anything else!"
"Oh, Harry," sighed Severus as he wrapped Harry up in a hug.
Harry wept his distress onto Severus' shoulder. This time Harry made no move to
kiss or touch him inappropriately, just wrapped his arms around Severus' neck
and clung on for dear life. Severus wasn't sure how long they stayed like that
until Harry's crying ceased and he glanced up at Severus' face.
"Am I bad, Professor? That I let them do those things to me?"
"Oh, Harry, no. You were never bad. Miss Cole and the men she allowed to use
the children like that, they were bad. But not you, Harry. Never think that."
Severus led Harry over to the sofa and made him sit down on it while Severus
knelt down in front of him.
"Harry, if you need to talk about this at any time, you can come and see me or
Madam Pomfrey or any of the teachers. I know you've been having nightmares,
maybe it might be better if you can talk to someone about what happened to
you." Severus reached out and clasped Harry's hands.
"No!" Harry yanked his hands out of Severus' grasp. "I'm going to bed now,
Professor."
Severus watched Harry head to his room with his heart feeling heavy in his
chest. Why did he feel that he had just made things so much worse?
***
"Gryffindor!" roared the Sorting Hat. Harry hopped down from the stool and even
before he had reached the Gryffindor table he was greeted with cheers and
clapping coming from that table. A set of redheaded twins made room for him on
the bench beside him and both of them slapped him on the back so hard that
Harry almost bumped into the table in front of him. Although Harry was still
feeling out of sorts after the disastrous night he'd had with Professor Snape,
Harry couldn't help smiling. He felt so welcomed.
"We didn't see you on the train, Harry," said one of the twins. "I'm Fred
Weasley."
"And I'm George."
"No, I was already here," said Harry. "I was staying with Professor Snape."
"Snape?" gasped another redheaded older boy who was sitting across the table
from them. He could only have been the twins' brother. "What on Earth were you
doing staying with Snape? Everyone knows he's up to his neck in Dark Arts!"
"Those are just rumours, Percy," said George. Or was it Fred? Harry was having
difficulty in telling them apart.
"He's been after Quirrell's job for years!" protested Percy.
"Yeah, Defence Against the Dark Arts," Fred pointed out. "And anyway he'll
never get it. The job's jinxed, we'll only have Quirrell for a year like all
the rest."
"He's up to something!"
"Ignore Percy, Harry. He isn't happy unless he's discovered plenty of
conspiracies before dinner."
"Oh, Ron's up next," said Fred and as one the twins turned round to face the
Sorting Hat again. Ron Weasley was not as tall as his brothers, but he had the
same shade of red hair and the same blue eyes as the twins. It was like a
miniature version of them perched up on the stool. Ron closed his eyes as the
hat came down.
"Slytherin!"
"Slytherin?" gasped George. "Mum'll kill him."
"It can't be that bad," said Harry, remembering his own time spent with the
Head of Slytherin House. Professor Snape had treated him very well and despite
the humiliation Harry had suffered last night, he still liked him as a teacher.
If it hadn't been for him, Harry would never have been able to take classes at
Hogwarts at all.
"Not bad?" retorted Percy. "Slytherin's just turned out more Dark wizards than
any other House combined!"
The other Gryffindors were glancing warily at the Weasleys on their table, as
if they blamed them for Ron getting Sorted into Slytherin or as if they
suspected they should have been Sorted into Slytherin too. In contrast to the
loud cheers of welcome Harry had received from his fellow Gryffindors; it was
jeers and catcalls that greeted Ron when he walked despondently towards the
Slytherin table. As Ron sat down, the fair-haired boy, Draco Malfoy, stuck his
nose up in the air and turned his back on Ron.
Harry didn't understand it. Weren't the students of each House meant to get
along with each other? That's what Professor Snape had told him anyway. Why
were the Slytherins not welcoming Ron like they'd welcomed the others? Harry
felt a bit bad for the youngest Weasley boy.
"Who's going to tell Mum?" asked Percy.
"I think you should," said Fred. "You're the oldest and you're a prefect."
"Just because I have extra responsibilities doesn't mean I should be the one to
tell her."
"You're all right, Perce. They don't shoot the messengers anymore," said George
with a wink to Harry.
When Blaise Zabini had been Sorted into Slytherin, Professor McGonagall made
the Sorting Hat and stool disappear with a wave of her wand. Harry watched
gobsmacked. He'd yet to use his own wand and could hardly wait to do magic.
Professor Dumbledore stood up and tapped a knife against his goblet for order.
The students took a while to settle down but when they did, you could have
heard a pin drop.
"Welcome everyone to Hogwarts and a particularly warm welcome to our new
students this year. We have a new Defence teacher this term, Professor
Quirrell." As Dumbledore turned, Professor Quirrell stood up and took a bow,
his purple turban shaking a little as he did so.
"Ow!" gasped Harry just as a sharp pain lanced through his head in the region
of his scar. Professor Snape was looking at him with some concern and then at
Professor Quirrell.
"Harry? Are you all right?" asked Fred.
"Yeah. Just a bit of a headache, I get them sometimes."
"Before our feast," Dumbledore continued. "I have a few start of term notices
to give out. Our caretaker Mr. Filch has asked me to remind all students that
no magic is to be performed in the corridors between classes and he had added
Fanged Frisbees, Self-Propelling Yo-yos and Terrifying Tiddly-winks to the
banned items list, which can of course be read on the door of his office. The
Forbidden Forest is out of bounds to all students unless they are accompanied
by a member of staff. Due to some necessary renovation work, the third floor
corridor is also out of bounds this year. Quidditch trials will take place on
Saturday and Sunday for those in second year and above. Tuck in!" said
Dumbledore, clapping his hands and suddenly all the tables were groaning under
the weight of so much food and drink.
Harry wasn't the only person who seemed impressed with the array of dishes
before them. "I think I'm going to like it here," said Harry as he reached out
to help himself to some chicken.
***
A Weasley in Slytherin. Severus wasn't sure what surprised him more. The fact
that it had actually happened or the fact that the other Slytherins had not
welcomed the boy when the hat had Sorted him. No matter his past or his family,
Ron Weasley was now one of his little snakes and Severus was determined that
the whole House would feel his wrath over the debacle in the Great Hall.
Slytherins were to show a united front to the rest of the school. Any discord
within its ranks would be dealt with swiftly and internally and Draco Malfoy
would pay for that little stunt of snubbing Weasley in front of the whole
school.
All of his House were gathered around the common room, some sprawled on the
armchairs and sofas, others standing to attention and more sitting on the
floor. Ron Weasley was standing off to one side, looking down at the floor, but
Severus had seen no tears.
"I am appalled at your behaviour this evening!" Snape exclaimed without
preamble. "We are Slytherins! When the Sorting Hat brings us new members, we
welcome that member without restraint! Mr. Malfoy, you will apologise to Mr.
Weasley for your slight tonight and you will be in detention with Mr. Filch for
the next week because of it!"
"What? You can't make me do that! I'll write to my father!" The pale face was
red with angry blotches on his cheeks. Haughty, arrogant and just like his
father. It was going to be a long year.
"You are no longer at Malfoy Manor, Mr. Malfoy, with people catering to your
every whim. You will do what you are told like any other student in this school
and do not think that writing to your father will get you out of your
punishment. He too was a student here and he knows the rules. While you are at
Hogwarts and a member of Slytherin House you have me to answer to, and no one
else. I'm waiting, Mr. Malfoy. Apologise to Mr. Weasley or shall we make it a
month of detention?"
Malfoy sauntered over to Weasley and bent low in a mocking bow. "I'm so very
sorry, Mr. Weasel."
"Malfoy," Severus warned. Malfoy turned to glare at him, but his anger was
ineffectual, for it would not sway Severus one iota. "Apologise properly."
"Sorry," mumbled Malfoy before turning round and smirking to his friends.
"A month's detention Mr. Malfoy, report to Mr. Filch tomorrow after dinner."
Malfoy opened his mouth to protest but then thought better of it. Severus knew
it was a wise move, for if Malfoy had made just one more complaint, it would
have been two months.
"Get to bed, all of you!" snapped Severus, feeling off-balance and out of
sorts. He'd been off-balance since last night when Harry had tried to seduce
him or whatever the hell that had been. Long year? Severus would be surprised
if he survived a month.
***
Harry spent his first evening in the dormitory talking with the three other
Gryffindor boys and they were all chatting until well past midnight. Neville
lived with his grandmother and Harry felt an instant connection with him more
than Seamus and Dean who lived with their parents. When Seamus started snoring
when they were in the middle of a conversation, the rest of them giggled and
got settled down to sleep.
Harry lay awake for a long time staring at the canopy above his head. He was
worried about his first classes tomorrow and the homework that was sure to
follow. His writing wasn't very good yet and he still had extra lessons with
Professor Snape to try and help him, but he would be so ashamed if anyone else
found out that he couldn't read and write properly yet. He was upset about what
had happened last night too. Harry was so bad for trying to do that with
Professor Snape. He didn't want to be bad but it seemed like he didn't know how
to be good.
When Harry did finally fall asleep, he had the weirdest dream. He was being
Sorted again, but this time instead of the hat, it was Professor Quirrell's
turban that was upon his head. A strange voice was hissing in his ear.
"Ssslytherin. Ssslytherin. Ssslytherin." The turban got heavier and heavier on
his head. There was a flash of green light as Harry woke up, screaming himself
hoarse as pain like he'd never felt before roared through his scar.
 
Part 6
"Wingardium Leviosa!" said Harry and watched in amazement as the feather on his
desk floated gently into the air and then just as gently fell back down to
earth.
Professor Flitwick almost toppled from his stack of books as he surveyed the
class. "Well done, Mr. Potter! Look, everyone, Mr. Potter has done it on the
first try." Harry's face flushed at the praise and he tried to avoid looking at
the teacher. His strange dream and the painful night seemed very far away in
the light of day.
Hermione Granger gave Harry a withering look as she struggled with her feather.
It would rise a little bit and then flop back down on the desk.
"No, no, Miss Granger. That wand movement is all wrong. It's a gentle swish and
then a sturdier flick. Potter, why don't you show Miss Granger how it's done?"
Professor Flitwick hopped down from his books and made his way around the
classroom to see how everyone else was getting on as Harry attempted to show
Hermione the wand movement. She snatched her hand away from him and grabbed
hold of her wand. "I can do it! I don't need any help from you just because
you're famous!" she spat at him.
What did she mean? Harry wasn't famous, was he?
Seamus glanced at Harry and then twirled his finger around his head as if he
thought Hermione was having some mental problems. Harry didn't think she had,
he just thought Hermione didn't like him, especially when he'd upstaged her in
Potions earlier that morning by knowing what a bezoar was; Severus had told him
during one of their reading lessons.
Seamus waved his wand about violently and almost broke Harry's glasses in the
process. There was a loud bang, a flash of light and a pall of smoke. When the
smoke cleared, Seamus' feather was a blackened mess and his eyebrows had been
singed away.
"Dear me, dear me," said Professor Flitwick just as the bell rang. "For
homework I want everyone to practice the levitation charm. Not you, Harry.
Yours was perfect."
Hermione glared even harder at Harry if that were possible. "It's not fair!"
she grumbled to no one in particular. "Just because he was lucky enough to get
it right on the first try!"
Professor Flitwick heard her. "Miss Granger, spells and magic are not a matter
of luck. It is a matter of skill and hard work. Some people may have been born
with more skill than others, but skills can be learned. Luck cannot. Class
dismissed!"
Harry grabbed his bag and walked with Seamus back to the Great Hall for lunch.
"Do you need to go and see Madam Pomfrey about your eyebrows?" asked Harry with
some concern.
"Naw, they'll grow back in a little while, they always do."
"That's happened before?"
"Oh, yeah. Me Mam's a fire mage. I've got some of her powers but I don't really
know how to use them yet."
"Well, well, look who it is," drawled Draco Malfoy at the entrance to the Great
Hall. "Is Finnegan your new boyfriend, Potty?"
Harry felt his face pale. Malfoy couldn't know, could he? He couldn't know what
had happened at the orphanage?
Seamus grabbed hold of Harry's arm and dragged him into the Great Hall. "Just
ignore him, Harry. He was only trying to get you riled up."
As they sat down at the Gryffindor table, Harry wondered if that was all it
was. What if Malfoy knew about his past?
***
After lunch they had their first flying lesson. Harry was really looking
forward to that one. Flying was a practical subject; there were no textbooks
and no essays to be written for homework either. As Harry made his way to the
pitch with the other Gryffindor boys Lavender Brown stopped dead in front of
them with her hands on her hips.
"What did you do to Hermione?" she demanded of Harry.
"What?"
"She's been in the toilets crying her eyes out all during lunch!"
"I didn't do anything to her!" protested Harry.
"You didn't have to be so nasty to her in Charms!" said Lavender. "Just because
she's Muggle-born doesn't mean you can look down on her!"
"I don't know what you're talking about," said Harry, shouldering his way past
her and onto the flying pitch. Quite a lot of students were there already;
every House was having flying lessons together. Draco Malfoy smirked at Harry
and Harry made sure to choose a broomstick as far away from the Slytherin boy
as possible.
Harry ended up between Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger, with Neville on Ron's
other side. Seamus and Dean were stuck beside Malfoy. They hadn't been quick
enough to choose a spot and Madam Hooch had steered them towards the two empty
brooms on either side of Malfoy.
"Welcome to your first flying lesson, everyone. Step up to the left side of
your broom and raise your right hand over it. On my whistle say 'up' as
forcefully as you can. You have to let the broomstick know who's in charge. You
are its master, not the other way around. Once the broomstick is in your hand,
I want you to mount it. Everyone ready? Good. On my whistle then."
Madam Hooch blew a shrill whistle and the field was ringing with everyone's
cries of 'up'. Harry's broomstick shot into his hand on the first try and
Hermione Granger was so annoyed with him again that she wasn't paying attention
to her own broomstick and it smacked her in the face.
Harry and Ron Weasley couldn't stop giggling and she turned away from them in a
huff.
"Longbottom! What are you doing with that broomstick? Come down from there at
once!"
All eyes turned to Neville who was hovering about a foot off the ground and
looking panic-stricken. "I didn't tell anyone to fly yet! Come down!"
But Neville didn't know how to get down; his broom rose higher and higher in
the air, swerving about before bucking Neville off and he landed on the ground
with a sickening crunch. Neville lay on the grass, moaning in pain and holding
his arm. Madam Hooch bent down in a flurry of robes to examine him. "It's a
broken wrist. I'll take you to the hospital wing. The rest of you wait here and
if I see any one of you on a broomstick, you'll be out of Hogwarts before you
can say 'Quidditch'."
Malfoy was smirking as if all his birthdays and Christmases had come at once as
he watched Madam Hooch carry Neville off to the infirmary. "Ha! Maybe if he
remembered this he would have remembered to fall on his fat arse!" laughed
Malfoy, tossing Neville's Remembrall from hand to hand.
"Give that back! That's Neville's!" said Harry reaching out to grab it, but
Malfoy held it high above his head.
"I don't think so, Potty. I think I'll leave it up there. Do you think
Longbottom will be able to fly to that tree?"
Malfoy mounted his broomstick and flew off into the air. Hermione clasped her
hand over her mouth. "Oh, we're going to be in so much trouble!"
Harry mounted his own broom, with much disapproval from Hermione and the other
girls, but the other boys were egging him and Malfoy on. "Give it back,
Malfoy!" called Harry.
"No!" said Malfoy as he threw the Remembrall into the air.
Harry had never flown a broomstick before, but he seemed to know instinctively
what to do to make the broom move faster, to turn and dive the way he wanted it
to. The wind rushed past his ears as his eyes locked on the small ball ahead of
him. Harry's hand shot out and he grabbed the Remembrall in his fist before
gliding down to the ground.
He didn't know how long he'd been in the air, but when he reached the ground
Hermione Granger was standing looking triumphant with Professor McGonagall
right beside her. Harry couldn't believe it. She'd told on him?
"Mr. Potter, please come with me," said McGonagall and Harry felt his heart
sink to somewhere near his shoes. Where was he going to go if he was expelled?
The orphanage had closed and he didn't think his aunt and uncle would want him
back now that they'd finally got rid of him.
***
"And then she said I could be the new Seeker! And Oliver Wood is going to teach
me how to play Quidditch! I thought I was going to get expelled! She looked so
angry!" said Harry all at once as soon as he entered Severus' office for his
reading lesson that evening. Severus had wondered what Harry had been looking
so pleased about at dinner. During dinner, Severus had listened to Professor
Flitwick enthuse over Harry's Charms abilities. "Of course, he probably gets it
from his mother, but the boy has skills of his own, there's no denying that."
Severus had glowed with pride that Harry had done so well on his first day.
"That's wonderful news, Harry. And no, I don't think Professor McGonagall was
going to expel you. She wants to have the Quidditch Cup back with Gryffindor
this year. Slytherin have won it for the past seven years and from what I've
heard of your flying skills, it looks like Gryffindor might be in with a chance
this year."
"Do you really think I'm that good?"
"I haven't seen you fly yet, but from what Madam Hooch and Professor McGonagall
have both told me, it seems you are a natural on a broom. Which reminds me, I'd
better get permission from the Headmaster to take you shopping at the weekend."
"Shopping? I've got all my things already, haven't I?"
"My dear Harry, you don't really think you're going to beat Slytherin riding
one of the school brooms?"
"First years aren't allowed their own brooms," said Harry.
"I have a feeling an exception might be made in your case," smiled Severus.
"How does a Nimbus 2000 sound?"
"Oh, Professor! Thank you! Thank you!" exclaimed Harry as he wrapped his arms
around Severus in a hug.
 
Part 7
 
Harry was having his first training session with Oliver Wood so Severus had
arranged for Harry's reading lesson to be at eight o'clock rather than seven
that evening. Severus used the time while he was waiting for Harry to arrive to
mark some essays from his classes. He scrawled a red line through everything on
the parchment in front of him. Even as first year work it was disastrous. The
class had been instructed to write twelve inches on the properties and uses of
moonstone: Gregory Goyle had written twenty inches of parchment on moonflower,
which might have been useful if he actually knew what moonflower was. He knew
nothing about either moonstone or moonflower and although Severus was loath to
do it to one of his Slytherins, he had no choice but to write a large 'D' on
the corner of the parchment. Even though Severus suspected that if the boy had
been in any other House he would have awarded a 'T'.
By the time he'd finished marking the rest of the first and second year essays,
it was well past eight o'clock. It was too dark to see much of the pitch or for
Harry and Wood to still be practising. He supposed Wood might have conjured
some magical light, but Harry knew he had a reading lesson and he had never
missed one of those in the month he'd been at school.
Harry's reading was gradually improving, as was his handwriting, but he still
preferred to do his homework in Severus' quarters rather than in front of his
friends so that they wouldn't know how bad he still was at the basic skills.
Severus knew it would be a while before Harry was as proficient as some of his
classmates, but it was only a matter of time. Harry knew he needed to work hard
to improve himself and not once had he skimped on any extra work Severus had
given him.
By quarter past eight Severus was getting a little worried. Harry should have
been here by now; he had never been late before. Severus put away his quills
and ink and headed over to the Quidditch pitch to look for him. What if Harry
had fallen off his broom in the dark? The Nimbus 2000 was fast and Severus
resorted to running as he saw visions of Harry's head split open on the grass.
The Quidditch pitch was in darkness when he arrived, but he saw a light on in
the changing rooms. Severus marched across the grass and knocked on the door.
"Wood?" There was no answer. "Harry?" Severus pushed open the door; the locker
room was empty but he heard the showers running. He sat down on one of the
benches to wait until they'd both finished, feeling his heart finally settle to
a normal rhythm.
Severus waited for quarter of an hour or more, but still no one emerged from
the showers. Surely it didn't take that long for them to get clean? He was
surprised by the outer changing room door banging open, bringing with it Oliver
Wood, dressed in nothing but a towel and a panicked expression on his face when
he saw Severus. Poppy and Minerva were both with him.
"What's happened?" demanded Severus. "Where's Harry?"
"He must be still in the shower," said Wood. "Hasn't he come out yet?"
"No." Severus grabbed a towel and marched through to the showers. Harry was
huddled in one of the corners, his knees tucked tight against his chest. The
water sluicing down him from above had long since gone cold and he was
shivering uncontrollably. Severus turned off the water and wrapped Harry up in
the towel before scooping him up in his arms and bringing him out to Poppy.
"He's freezing," he said.
"I'll take him to the infirmary," said Poppy as she held out her arms and
Severus found it difficult to relinquish his hold on the boy. Poppy stayed like
that until Severus finally let Harry go, but Harry started screaming as soon as
he was out of Severus' arms. "Severus! Severus!" he wailed as Poppy led him
away and Severus felt each word like an arrow piercing his heart.
"What the hell happened?" Severus demanded. "What did you to do him, Wood?"
"It wasn't Oliver's fault!" said Minerva. "Severus, it's Harry. Something has
got to be done. Harry thought that because he was now on the Quidditch team,
that he is supposed to keep his captain happy. Harry tried to have oral sex
with Oliver in the showers and when Oliver refused Harry became hysterical and
that is when Oliver went to fetch Madam Pomfrey and myself."
Severus had his wand out before Minerva could protest or prevent him from
casting the spell. "Legilimens!"
He was thrust into Wood's mind in a matter of seconds and the most recent
memories were there at the forefront. He skipped quickly past the training
session and sifted through until he came to the memory of Harry and Oliver in
the showers. Harry had looked nervous as Oliver had undressed and Severus saw
Harry's face become a mask of determination.
"That was great, Harry," said Wood as he shampooed his hair. "Keep catching the
Snitch like that and you'll have really earned your keep."
Severus saw the shutters go down on Harry's eyes. It was the worst thing Oliver
could have said. Harry sank to his knees and began to suck Wood's cock, which
was already hardening from the hot water. "Harry! What are you - ah - doing?
Don't do that, Harry! You don't have to that!"
Oliver pushed Harry away with a shove to his shoulders, Harry banged into the
wall and began screaming in earnest now and Severus saw the panic on Oliver's
face as he debated what to do. Wood grabbed a towel and headed out of the
shower block.
Severus slipped from the boy's mind to find Wood glaring at him and Minerva
giving him an accusing stare. "Mr. Wood, please return to your dormitory."
The boy dressed in a hurry and ran off.
"Severus! I've a good mind to report this to the headmaster! You used mind
magic on a student without their consent!"
"I needed to know the truth! I needed to know if he had done anything to
Harry!"
"And his word wasn't good enough?"
"No, it wasn't. He could have lied to get himself out of trouble."
"It's Harry who is the troublesome one," said Minerva. "He can't go around
accosting the students! I warned you, didn't I? That I didn't think the boy was
suitable for Hogwarts. Look how Riddle turned out; they were at the same
orphanage! It can't be coincidence!"
"Harry is nothing like Riddle!" fumed Severus.
"No?"
"Minerva, you are letting speculation and worry cloud your judgement! Harry
didn't do anything wrong! He was brought up to think that he had to make
payment for anything good that ever happened to him. He was told he needed to
earn his keep. It just so happened that Oliver Wood used that exact phrase and
Harry thought he needed to do those things with Oliver too in order to keep his
place on the team."
"I've a good mind to rescind the offer!"
"Don't you dare! Don't you dare take Harry off the team because of this! That
boy has been through enough!"
"We'll see how things go, but if I hear of another incident like this, it won't
just be the team he'll be out of. He'll be out of Hogwarts too!"
***
Harry was lying awake in the infirmary bed, an empty vial of calming draught on
the cabinet beside him. Despite the sedative, Harry had been crying again and
the tears had made silvery tracks on his cheeks. Harry was wearing the
infirmary-issue striped pyjamas and he'd been toying with the buttons. He
stopped when he caught sight of Severus.
"I'm sorry, sir," whispered Harry as Severus sat down in the chair next to his
bed. "I don't mean to be bad, I don't."
"Harry, you aren't bad. You were just doing what you'd been trained to do, but
it isn't expected of you here. To be fed and clothed, to be on the Quidditch
team, there are no conditions, Harry. You don't have to do anything like that
ever again. No one should be forced to do things they don't want to do. Ever.
Did you want to do that with Oliver, Harry?"
"No, Professor. I - I thought I had to. I just - I just wanted to please him,
but I think I scared him."
"I think you shocked him a little. I don't think he was expecting an eleven
year old to be so sexually aware."
Severus ran a hand through his hair. In one sense, Harry was sexually aware,
but on the other it was in a very immature way. He had no concept of loving sex
between partners, just sex used as a weapon or as a bargaining tool in order to
stay fed.
"You don't think he'll tell anyone, do you?" Harry asked softly.
"I don't think Oliver will be spreading this round the school, no."
"The others would hate me if they found out," said Harry, his breathing coming
in ragged gasps. "They'd think I was disgusting for doing that. I'm so awful!
I'm disgusting!" sobbed Harry.
"Ssh, Harry. It's all right. You aren't disgusting. You are a very brave boy
and we will get you through this. I swear."
Harry scrambled upright on the bed and wrapped his arms around Severus' neck.
"You don't… d-don't hate me?" Harry sobbed against his neck.
Severus returned the hug and whispered to his hair. "No, Harry. I could never
hate you."
 
Part 8
 
The excitement of Gryffindor winning their first Quidditch match of the season
was diminished somewhat by what had happened with Oliver the week before. After
the game, Oliver could barely look at Harry and made sure to have his shower
quickly and leave. Harry sat on the bench in the locker room until everyone
else had finished; he didn't want to make the same mistake again and thought it
would be less likely if he showered on his own.
Harry sat there staring into nothing; the Snitch held tightly in his fist. Fred
and George were the last team members to emerge from the shower. "You okay,
Harry?" asked Fred as he pulled on his clothes and shared a look with his twin.
Harry had the impression that both of them could talk without words; as if they
really were one person rather than two. He envied them that; to have someone so
close to you that you could talk about anything with them and they wouldn't
hate you or judge you.
Harry nodded but didn't speak. He was afraid that if he did he would burst into
tears again. Ever since the incident with Oliver, Harry had been feeling more
and more fragile and he'd been having nightmares every night. It didn't help
that Oliver was avoiding him, making Harry feel doubly guilty about what he'd
done. He hated feeling like that, but he didn't know how to stop it.
"I'm starving," said George. "What do you think's for dinner tonight?"
"No idea," said Fred. He ruffled Harry's hair on the way out. "Better get a
move on or you'll be late for dinner."
"Okay," said Harry as he stood up, but he didn't undress until the Weasley
twins had left. Harry had no idea what Oliver thought of what had happened, but
the truth was, Harry was not at all comfortable with his body or how it had
been used by those men at the orphanage. It had taken all his courage just to
get naked in the shower with Oliver after their training session, never mind
anything else. But once he was there naked with him and Oliver started talking
about Harry earning his keep, it was like a switch had been flicked on in his
brain and Harry felt he had no choice, just like Miss Cole had made him feel
all along while he was at the orphanage.
Professor Snape said it was just the way he had been trained and now he had to
unlearn it. But how did you unlearn something like that? Harry wanted to be
normal; he wanted to fit in with everyone else and he didn't want to have to
keep doing those awful things just to stay at Hogwarts. Harry felt so ashamed
of his past and he dreaded to think what would happen if Oliver told anyone
else what Harry had done. No one would ever want to be friends with him and
Harry desperately wanted friends. He could well imagine the look of disgusted
horror on his dorm-mates' faces if they ever found out.
Harry sighed as he took off his Quidditch gear, folding it all neatly on one of
the benches before draping a towel around his waist, but he made no move to go
to the shower room just yet. He sat back down on the bench and hung his head in
his hands, the tears that had been threatening since the end of the match were
making his eyes sting and this time he just let them fall; there was no one
here to see them.
"Oh dear, little Potter's crying. Did someone steal your toys?"
Harry's head shot up to find Marcus Flint, the Slytherin captain, standing by
the changing room door. He hastily rubbed his eyes. "I'm fine." Harry had
thought everyone else had left.
"Where is everyone?" asked Flint.
"They left about ten minutes ago. I'm the only one here."
"Are you sure?"
"Yes, there's only me."
Flint smirked, then he locked the door with a flick of his wand and pointed it
at Harry.
"What are you doing?" demanded Harry, diving for his own wand which was sitting
on top of his clothes. Harry stood facing Flint, his wand drawn, his knees
trembling as he became hyper-conscious of his near-nudity. He was dressed in
nothing but a towel and Flint's eyes were lingering over him; lingering over
his body like all those men had done. No. No, not here too!
Harry lifted his wand, but really he had no idea what he was going to do.
Lifting a feather was a lot different to trying to levitate a fifth year boy.
"Put that down before you poke someone's eye out," said Flint calmly, his wand
pointing at Harry's chest. "I know all about you, Potter. How you used to be a
whore."
"What?" Harry's hold on his wand faltered and Flint used the opportunity to
make a grab for it. Flint now had two wands and Harry had none. He made a run
for the door, but whatever spell Flint had used to lock it meant that it
wouldn't open for Harry.
"Let me out! Let me out!" begged Harry, pounding uselessly on the doors with
his fists.
"Not until I'm finished with you," said Flint. "I've been watching you, Potter.
The way you stare at all the boys. You're nothing but a little slut, aren't
you? I bet you weren't expecting Oliver to turn you down, he's such a prude.
I'm not, Potter. I can give you what you want."
"I want to get out!" yelled Harry.
"No you don't. You want to be on your knees sucking cock like a good little
whore, don't you?"
"Please, Marcus! Please don't do this!"
"You'll do what you're told or I'll tell all your little friends what a slut
you are. How would they feel if they found out what you've done, eh? Do you
think anyone would like you if they found out? Just do what I say and I'll keep
it a secret."
Harry didn't want to do it, Professor Snape would hate him; but if he didn't do
it things might be even worse.
"How – how did you find out?" asked Harry.
"Let's just say Draconis sends his regards," smirked Flint.
Harry felt the world around him swaying. This couldn't be happening. It was a
nightmare, it had to be. "Please! Just let me go!"
"Why? It's not as if you're a virgin, is it? You should be used to this by now,
Potter. You're a slut, only good for one thing."
Flint laughed, high and cold and Harry felt his heart shatter into a million
pieces as the older boy approached him, prowling like a cat stalking its prey.
It was going to happen again and there was nothing Harry could do to stop it.
"You'll do what I want Potter and you won't tell anyone or the whole school
will find out your secrets and you don't want that, do you?"
"No," said Harry and as Flint pushed him face down on the floor; he found that
he was too numb for tears.
Harry heard the rustle of fabric as Flint’s Quidditch robe was removed - he saw
a flicker out of the corner of his eye as it was tossed carelessly aside. The
clink of the leather belt being undone engendered a terror that Harry had hoped
he'd long forgotten. He'd never liked this with any of the men before and from
the terrified beating of his heart he knew he wasn't going to enjoy it this
time either. "Are you going to be a good boy and take it, Potter? Or do I need
to tie you up? I might tie you up next time anyway. Just for variety."
Oh God! Next time?
"N– no. I'll be good," Harry promised.
***
Harry didn't know how long it lasted; it could have been ten minutes, but it
felt more like hours before Flint finally left the changing room and threw
Harry's wand on the floor next to his ear, whispering threateningly, "See you
soon. I might bring some friends next time."
After Flint left, Harry just lay there; his bum sore, his knees and chest
scraped raw along the tiled floor. He was afraid to get up. He didn't want to
have to face anyone. Would they know what had happened just by looking at him?
He felt so dirty; the shame almost choking him.
Harry slowly pushed himself to his knees and felt the fluids trickling out of
him and down his thighs, settling in the hollow at the back of his knees. The
toilets were too far away; he threw up over the floor, his chest heaving with
the effort. Dinner was the last thing on his mind now and he just wanted to
crawl into somewhere small to make himself invisible so that no one would ever
be able to hurt him like this again. He'd thought it was over; that he'd
escaped men like that at the orphanage. But they were in other places too. Even
in his new home.
Harry threw up twice more before he could even stand up. His legs were shaking
so much he had to grab hold of a locker to support himself and he managed to
make it to the showers by inching along holding onto the lockers. By the time
he got to the shelf near the door with the towels, Harry was breathing so
heavily he felt dizzy.
Harry grabbed some fresh towels from the shelf and walked into the shower room.
He turned the water on as hot as he could stand it and scrubbed and scrubbed at
his body, seeing pink water swirl down the drain. Flint had made him bleed back
there he'd been so rough. What was he going to do? No one would believe that it
wasn't Harry's fault. Flint was a prefect; everyone would listen to him. They
wouldn't listen to Harry. Harry was to blame; he'd let Flint do it just because
he didn't want anyone to find out what a slut he was. And he was, wasn't he? He
must be to have let Flint do that.
Harry started crying so much it was difficult to breathe and he ended up
sliding down the wall to sit tucked up against the corner as he just let the
water wash over him, just like that day after Oliver had left him there. Soon
the water ran cold but Harry couldn't bear to get out yet, he still felt dirty
as if no amount of water would ever wash away what had happened. His fingers
were puckering up like prunes and he wondered if he stayed there long enough if
he would just dissolve and swirl down the drain too.
He stood up to turn off the water and then dried himself briskly with the
towels and headed off to get dressed. There was still a small trickle of blood
from his behind but Harry knew he could never go to Madam Pomfrey about it. He
pulled off some sheets of toilet paper; folded it and then put it in his
underwear so that hopefully it wouldn't seep through his clothes. He used the
towels to clean up the vomit, the smell almost making him gag again and then he
hid them in the very bottom of the wash basket.
Dinner was almost finished when he got to the Great Hall; desserts were just
appearing at the table. Harry slid carefully in between Neville and Seamus and
pretended that everything was fine. He laughed at their jokes; at Seamus'
attempts to turn his pumpkin juice into rum and ignored Flint who was heavily
in conversation with Draco Malfoy at the Slytherin table. But if anyone were to
look closely enough, they would have seen that Harry's smiles never quite
reached his eyes.
Professor Snape was going to be so disappointed in him and Harry couldn't bear
that. He would just have to make sure that no one would find out.
Ever.
 
Part 9
Albus, in his wisdom, had decided that the Houses were too divided and wanted
students from different Houses to work together, but everyone in the staff
meeting knew he meant Slytherin and Gryffindor. Those two Houses had been
enemies since the time of the Founders and nothing much had changed. Severus
made some mental notes as Albus rattled on with something else. He could put
Harry with Ron Weasley, Draco Malfoy with Hermione Granger and –
"Minerva, I'm surprised to see that Harry Potter isn't doing so well in your
class," said Albus, bringing Severus out of his reverie. It was as if his mind
was attuned to anything related to Harry these days. "His results in his other
classes are all very good and yet you've consistently marked him as
'acceptable' or 'poor'. Is he really that bad at Transfiguration?"
Every other staff member looked eagerly at the headmaster. It was rare for him
to discuss students' progress at such length with the other teachers, but then
again no other student had been Harry Potter. His life wasn't his own and
hadn't been since that fateful night all those years ago.
Harry had asked Severus after one of their reading lessons to tell him what had
happened; he'd been hearing rumours about his fame and his parents' deaths ever
since he arrived at the school and had been eager to know the truth. So Severus
had told him everything and for the rest of that evening Harry had been even
more subdued than normal. When it was time Harry for leave, he'd admitted he'd
been having nightmares of what he now thought was that fateful night and that
he'd been having pains in his scar. It seemed that Voldemort was returning
sooner than they had anticipated.
"He isn't bad at all," said Minerva. "But I marked him down because he has an
unfair advantage over the other students."
"What do you mean?" Albus peered at her over the rim of his glasses.
"Because he's no longer a vir–"
"Minverva! That is enough. This meeting is over. Minerva, Severus, I would like
to speak to you both alone."
The other staff looked curious, but Albus never said a word until they had all
left and he had cast powerful silencing charms on the doors. "Well, it's true,
Albus! Everyone knows a wizard comes into their full power when they lose their
virginity. Since Harry is no longer a virgin, he has an advantage over the
other children his age."
"You think being raped is an advantage?" snarled Severus. "I can't believe you
almost betrayed Harry's confidence like that!"
"Minerva, I too am concerned about this. You cannot mark Harry down because of
things he had no control over. It wasn't his fault that he was abused and raped
as a child. He is still a child and it is unfair of you to punish him like
this."
"So what am I supposed to do? Give him an 'outstanding' because he doesn't have
to work as hard as the others?"
"Harry does work hard!" protested Severus. "He has his schoolwork and he has
extra lessons with me as well and he has never yet failed to hand in any work
that he was supposed to have done."
"Minerva, Harry is in your House, surely you can see how hard he works?"
continued Albus. "I don't want you to give out marks you don't think the
students deserve, but I don't want you to reduce them because of circumstances
that are beyond their control. Just be fair, that's all I'm asking."
"I'm always fair!" retorted Minerva, as she strode out and slammed the door
behind her.
Albus sighed and removed his glass, pinching the bridge of his nose. "Do you
think Harry is settling in all right, Severus?"
"I think so," said Severus, but even as he said the words, he wondered if they
were true. Harry didn't seem as happy lately as when he'd first arrived and
more than once Severus had spotted Harry just pushing food around his plate and
not eating any of it; he had yet to have that conversation with Harry. He'd
been very quiet during their reading lessons too; he would just read the book
chapters out loud but he never stayed behind any more to have a conversation.
The Weasleys had invited Harry to stay with them over the half-term break at
Halloween. While it wasn't usual for the students to leave for such short
periods of time, Severus thought a few days away from school might be just the
thing for Harry. It would be good for him to get to know what life was like
with a normal family. Harry barely remembered the Dursleys and his time there
had been far from normal. After the orphanage it was straight to another
institution, this time a school. He needed this break.
"Is that all, Headmaster?"
"For now, Severus."
***
"Harry, is everything all right?" asked Professor Snape as they made their way
up the path to The Burrow. They had taken the Knight Bus and Harry had failed
to muster up any enthusiasm for anything on the journey. He was glad to be
getting away from school for a few days; glad to be getting away from Marcus
Flint and the other boys he had started to bring along with him. Sometimes he
brought girls too and the older boys forced Harry to lick the girls down there
while they watched. Harry didn't want to do any of it anymore.
"I'm fine, sir," he lied and hated himself for the lie, but what else could he
do? He couldn't let anyone else find out what he'd done, what he'd been made to
do. There were chickens scattered about the front garden; scratching in the mud
and grass for spilled seeds and Harry envied them their simple life.
Harry shivered in the cool October evening. The sun was just beginning to dip
down beneath the hillside behind the house, bathing everything in golden hues.
Gnomes darted in and out of rubber boots lying around haphazardly on the lawn
and it was so different to the austere exercise yard Harry had known in the
orphanage that he felt tears prickling at the corners of his eyes.
"Harry?"
"I'm fine," Harry said, looking away so the professor wouldn't see his tears.
He was glad when Mrs. Weasley opened the door to them and he was no longer
alone with Professor Snape. Harry had the impression that the Potions master
knew when he was lying and he didn't want to lie to him again, but had no idea
how to avoid it.
Mrs. Weasley smiled at both of them; she was wearing a long dress with an apron
over it; she opened the door wide to let them come into the house. At the large
scrubbed wooden table in the kitchen, the twins, Percy, Ron and a younger girl
were already seated and Ron was eagerly eyeing the spread of food that had been
set out there.
A large tureen in the shape of a pumpkin took pride of place in the centre of
the table. There were plates of sandwiches; cakes, biscuits; jellies; ice-
cream, lollipops and more chocolate sweets than Harry had ever seen in his
life. Jugs of pumpkin juice and lemonade were on a sideboard along with silver
goblets and Harry felt the tension he'd been under these past few weeks at
Hogwarts dissipate somewhat.
"We're so glad you could come, Harry," said Mrs. Weasley. "Severus, you'll stay
for a while, won't you?"
Professor Snape glanced at Harry, as if he wanted or needed Harry's permission.
"Please, sir. I'd like that."
"Thank you, Molly. I can stay for a little while then."
Professor Snape pulled up a chair and Harry grabbed the one next to him, with
Ron on his other side and the twins and Ginny opposite him. Harry had heard of
their little sister, but hadn't met her until today. She seemed to blush every
time Harry glanced in her direction, so he spent most of the time staring down
at the scarred wooden table.
"Pumpkin soup, Harry dear?" asked Mrs. Weasley as she stood up and summoned
some bowls with a wave of her wand. Harry had been at Hogwarts for a while now
and thought he'd got used to magic, but somehow seeing it used like this for
such everyday things as summoning soup bowls and ladling out soup seemed a lot
stranger than doing a levitation charm in Charms or brewing potions.
"Please," said Harry, whose stomach had been grumbling softly ever since he'd
seen all the food. He couldn't even remember the last time he'd eaten anything
more than a few mouthfuls of his meals. It was certainly before Marcus Flint
had first cornered him in the changing rooms. Molly served Harry first, then
Professor Snape as they were the guests, then her own children and herself
last.
They all ate and chatted their way through the soup and other goodies. Despite
Ron being in Slytherin, his mother didn't seem to think any the less of him for
it. Harry had been partnered with Ron in Potions for the past few lessons and
the two of them seemed to be getting on fairly well. Seamus, Dean and Neville
didn't seem that bothered that Harry was becoming friends with a Slytherin. The
whole world knew Professor Snape was now Harry's guardian so it would have been
pretty difficult to avoid the Slytherins.
Harry put his cake down, his appetite suddenly fled. He wished there was some
way he could avoid some of the Slytherins. Soon all the food was gone or people
protested that they were full up and Mrs. Weasley declared it was time for some
traditional wizarding Halloween games.
Harry had never played any Muggle ones either and he was keen to take part, but
before the games could start, Professor Snape announced that he had to get back
to Hogwarts.
"Oh, can't you stay a bit longer?" asked Harry, suddenly wondering how he would
fare on his own with the Weasleys.
"I'm afraid not, Harry. I have to get back to school, but I'll be back for you
on Sunday evening. Enjoy yourself."
Mrs. Weasley saw him to the door, with Ginny following closely on her heels.
"I'm glad he's gone," said Percy. "Good riddance to the greasy git!"
"Hey, that's my Head of House you're talking about!" said Ron, his face purple.
"Just because you aren't any good in Potions!"
"That - that's got nothing to do with it!" spluttered Percy in such a way that
Harry got the impression it was exactly the reason why Percy didn't like
Professor Snape.
When Mrs. Weasley returned, everyone was quiet.
"Can we do the one with the apples, Mum?" said Ginny, tugging on her mother's
apron. "So we can see who we're going to marry?"
"Boring!" said Ron.
"I think that's a great idea, Ginny. You go and fetch the apples, dear. Percy,
did you get the ivy leaves?"
"Yes, Mum," said Percy and he set six glossy green leaves down on the table,
one for each of the children while Mrs. Weasley summoned six wooden beakers.
"I don't suppose you've done this before, have you, Harry dear?"
"No, Mrs. Weasley."
"We do it every year for the children at Halloween. Each of you is to fill your
beaker with water and then drop in your ivy leaf and leave it overnight. In the
morning; if the leaf still looks the same and hasn't become discoloured or
spotted, that means you will have perfect health for the next year."
"Oh."
Ginny returned with six apples and set them down on the table. "Percy, you can
use a knife, the rest of you can use a charm."
"Aw, Mum," protested George. "I'm old enough to use a knife without cutting
myself!"
"I'm taking no chances," replied Mrs. Weasley and she wouldn't be swayed.
"What are we supposed to do?" asked Harry, feeling very foolish that he didn't
know these things already.
"You peel the apple in one go and then throw it on the floor. If you do it
correctly, the skins will spell out the initials of your bond-mate."
"Bond-mate?"
"I suppose a bond-mate is similar to a Muggle spouse, but it goes much deeper
than that for wizards. It is a deep bond, rooted in the souls and magics of
wizards and witches," explained Mrs. Weasley.
"So, it might tell you who your soul-mate is?" asked Harry, he'd heard that
expression before.
"Exactly right, Harry dear. Right, is everyone ready then?" The children all
nodded eagerly and began to peel their fruit. Fred and George were making a
race out of it and kept giggling all the while. Percy was peeling his apple,
his face screwed up with concentration, although it made him look rather
constipated.
Ginny was the first one finished and threw the apple peel over her shoulder.
The others paused in their own task to take a look. "Is that a 'C'?" asked
Fred.
"Two 'C's," said Percy confidently as he finished his own apple and threw it
over his shoulder. Even Harry could see the 'P' and the 'C' clearly this time.
"No surprise there!" laughed Fred. "Penelope Clearwater!"
Percy blushed and rounded on his brother. "Shut up! You don't know what you're
talking about!"
George was laughing so much that he couldn't quite aim properly and his apple
skin landed in Ginny's hair and none of them could read any letters from it at
all. Ginny looked livid; she snatched one of the wooden beakers off the table
and filled it with water before putting in her leaf and stomping upstairs.
"I'm not doing this, it's stupid," said Ron, as he threw down his half-peeled
apple on the table. Harry wasn't sure, but he thought he saw a 'G' in there
somewhere.
Fred threw his next; but no one could quite make out any letters in his either.
"Just you left, Harry," said Mrs. Weasley with a smile. Harry took a deep
breath and threw the peel over his shoulder like he saw the others do. He was
afraid to look. Harry wasn't sure he wanted to know any part of his future.
"Go on, Harry. Have a look," said Mrs. Weasley. Harry turned as slowly as he
could and he felt every pair of eyes in the room riveted on him.
"I can't see anything," said Harry.
"I think that might be an 'S'," said Percy. "Or a 'Y'."
"There's a bit of a difference between an 'S' or a 'Y'," said Fred. "Are you
sure your glasses are working right?"
"Right, I think that's enough for tonight," said Mrs. Weasley. "Don't forget
your beakers!" she called to Fred and George who had started heading up the
stairs. They groaned and turned back round; Harry had the impression that they
felt too old for all these traditions. Harry didn't; he quite liked that he was
doing something other people had done before him.
"I've put you in with Ron, Harry dear, is that all right? It's a camp bed I'm
afraid but it's only for two nights."
"That's fine, Mrs. Weasley. Thank you for having me."
"It was our pleasure dear. I just wish Arthur wasn't so busy at the Ministry
these days; he would have loved to have met you. But you might see him in the
morning."
Harry nodded and dutifully went to fill his beaker with water from the kitchen
sink and set one of the ivy leaves on the top. He nursed it carefully all the
way up the stairs and into Ron's bedroom. Ron set his beaker down on the top of
the tank holding a large frog; Harry set his on the windowsill.
Harry lifted his pyjamas from his trunk and headed off to the bathroom to
change as there were no curtains to hide behind tonight.
***
When both of them got up the next morning, Ron's ivy leaf was as green and
glossy as it had been the night before.
Harry's had turned completely black.
 
Part 10
"The troll was a distraction, Severus. Someone has stolen the Philosopher's
Stone," said Albus gravely. Severus had been summoned to a meeting after the
teachers had all hurried through the school to tackle the troll, which had been
nowhere near the dungeons. Severus had managed to stun the creature while
Hagrid managed to bind it by a blast from his umbrella and then glanced
worriedly at Severus when he realised he'd been seen performing magic. Severus
wasn't about to tell anyone; they'd managed to save Hermione Granger who'd been
hiding in the girls' bathroom. It looked like she'd been crying but Severus had
never felt that comfortable in girls' company so he was only too pleased to
hand her over to Poppy who took Hermione to the infirmary.
"How, Albus? We all worked on those enchantments ourselves. You said it
yourself, only someone who wanted to find the Stone and not use it would be
able to find it."
"Indeed, that was the charm I set, but I failed to take into account something
else."
"What?"
"I didn't make the charm specific enough. Only someone who wasn't going to use
the Stone for themselves could find it. Anyone who wanted the Stone for someone
else would be able to find it."
"But they would still have to have got past all the other charms and
enchantments. Those weren't easy."
"Indeed, which makes me believe that we have a traitor in our school. This was
an inside job, Severus. Someone here is either working for Voldemort or being
coerced into doing so."
"But how?"
"You know as well as I do that Harry didn't destroy Voldemort completely that
night; he wasn't gone, Severus. He had no body, but his spirit, his essence is
still out there. I don't know how he is doing it, for without a body how can he
perform magic without a wand? Despite all his skills and his knowledge of the
Dark Arts, Tom Riddle was never an adept at wandless magic."
"Perhaps he possesses someone? If, as you say, his spirit survived intact?"
"I'm not sure I would say intact, Severus. Tell me, have you ever heard of
Horcruxes?"
***
By the time the headmaster had finished telling Severus all about Horcruxes,
Severus was feeling sick and after all the things he'd done in his past that
was a surprise. Murder was the ultimate act of evil, but Horcruxes went even
further. The act of murder could be used to split one's soul, something that
should remain whole and in the body. It was a desecration, that's what it was
and Albus suspected Riddle had done it at least six times! To split a soul once
was bad enough; to do it more often hardly bore thinking about. Not every
murder would result in a Horcrux; otherwise Voldemort's soul would have been
split into hundreds of pieces. There was a precise spell involved and there had
to be something nearby, a vessel to contain the split part.
"What sort of vessel?"
"It could be anything, Severus. I'm just guessing here, but I suspect it would
be some sort of inanimate object. A living creature would be too difficult to
control, especially if Voldemort cannot hold a wand."
"But if the reason he isn't dead is because of these Horcrux things; why would
he need the Philosophers' Stone? Wouldn't they render him immortal anyway?"
"No. Voldemort has a finite number of Horcruxes. If we destroy all of them, we
destroy him. Or rather, we make him capable of being destroyed."
"Albus, no! He's a child! We are not sending Harry up against the Dark Lord!"
"He has to, Severus. You know the prophecy as well as I; Harry is the only one
who can defeat him once and for all. We must destroy the Horcruxes before
Voldemort uses the Philosopher's Stone to give Harry a clear field."
Severus couldn't believe what he was hearing. Harry was too young, much too
young to be sent after the darkest wizard of the age.
"Do you think Voldemort will care about his age, Severus? As soon as he is
able, Voldemort will be after him to finish what he started, to murder Harry.
Harry needs to be prepared to fight."
"And what if the Dark Lord already has the Stone? What then?"
"The Stone is still at Hogwarts," said Albus, stroking his beard with pointed
fingers. "I've set the wards so that no one can leave. I want you to interview
all the staff using Legilimency until we find the culprit. They are still at
the school."
"And how do you know I'm not the culprit?" demanded Severus.
"Because I know how much you care for Harry," said Albus and Severus couldn't
deny it.
***
The staff traipsed through the headmaster's office for the best part of the
night. None of them were happy at being interrogated, especially by Severus,
but he just ignored it and sought out their minds. The thief surprised both of
them: Minerva McGonagall. After some more delving it became clear that she had
been under the Imperius Curse for some time. As Poppy took Minerva off to the
infirmary, Severus wondered if the curse was one of the factors in Minerva
being so hard on Harry. If Voldemort was controlling her he would probably
delight in making the boy so miserable, toying with him before he finally
killed him. It was just the sort of thing Voldemort would do.
Quirrell didn't turn up for his interview. Hagrid found him clawing at the
front doors, but the wards refused to open and Hagrid manhandled the teacher
into the infirmary. By the time Severus and Albus got there the man was a
quivering wreck and barely coherent but Severus got the gist of it soon enough.
Voldemort had been living off Quirrell like a parasite and had hoped to use
Quirrell to steal the Stone. But Quirrell was terrified of dogs and once he'd
met Fluffy he was powerless to go any further. So Voldemort made Quirrell put
the Imperius Curse on Minerva and used her to steal the Stone for him instead.
Quirrell's own magic wasn't that powerful; it was because he had part of
Voldemort's power within him that he'd been able to curse Minerva at all.
Voldemort had long since fled Quirrell's body and the wards could only keep
physical bodies in, not spirits. That was the bad news; the good news was that
Minerva still had the Stone in the pocket of her robes and Voldemort would have
to wait to achieve his quest for immortality.
Albus took the Stone away to destroy it. It had always been a double-edged
sword. The Elixir of Life in the hands of Voldemort would have been a curse,
not a blessing.
"I'm so sorry, Albus! I should not have let it happened!" sobbed Minerva,
clutching her chest as she lay on one of the infirmary beds.
"Now, now, Minerva. Voldemort is tricky and you are not the first witch to have
fallen foul of one of his curses. There's no harm done. You just take it easy
for a few days."
Minerva nodded and settled back on her pillows. Quirrell was another matter; he
just wouldn't stop screaming, no matter how much Calming Draught Poppy poured
down his throat. She had no choice but to get him admitted to St. Mungo's.
Severus was glad to see the back of him. Because of him, Harry had been in
danger at the school, the very place that was supposed to be his home; his
haven. Severus was determined to make it a safe place for Harry once again if
it was the last thing he ever did.
***
Severus watched Harry like a hawk his first week back after Halloween; there
was no doubt about ?. Harry was barely eating, if at all. There were dark
purple shadows under his eyes and he never laughed with his friends anymore.
The boy was attentive in class; his homework was always handed in on time and
he had never messed up a potion. Neville Longbottom and Seamus Finnegan on the
other hand were well known for fires, explosions and melting cauldrons left,
right and centre. So it came as no surprise to anyone when after one disastrous
lesson where Neville had managed to melt two cauldrons and Seamus had set fire
to a third that they were told to stay behind.
Severus could have given them detention or deducted points, but that wasn't the
reason he wanted to see the two boys. They shared Harry's dorm and were two of
his best friends. They were well placed to help Severus find out what was going
on with Harry, for Harry no longer talked to him about anything important.
Neville was bravely trying to clean up the mess, but Severus dismissed it with
a wave of his hand. "Leave that, Longbottom. I want to talk to you and Mr.
Finnegan about Harry."
The two boys glanced warily at each other. "We won't tell anyone!" gabbled
Longbottom.
"You won't tell anyone what?"
"How you punish Harry," said Finnegan. "It's not our business he's got bruises,
is it?"
"What on Earth are you both talking about?" demanded Severus.
"We've seen him, getting changed or in the showers. Every time he has an extra
lesson with you, Harry's covered in marks and bruises."
"I can assure both of you that I have never laid a hand on Harry!" protested
Severus hotly.
"He – he has nightmares too," Longbottom piped up softly, both of them glanced
at each other again before Finnegan nodded and Longbottom continued. "The past
few nights he's been wetting the bed as well. Please don't tell him we told
you, Harry feels awful about it."
"I hope you haven't been teasing him about it," said Severus. "It's not
something you can control." In fact it sounded very much like Harry was worried
about something. Add that to the loss of appetite and the unexplained bruises
and Severus was coming up with a picture he didn't like.
"Sir," began Finnegan confidently. "If you haven't been hurting Harry, who
has?"
"Who indeed, Mr. Finnegan. Who indeed."
Severus was determined to ask Harry after his reading lesson that evening.
Only Harry never turned up for his lesson. Percy Weasley came to fetch Severus
around half-past seven. "Sir, you'd better come to the infirmary. It's Harry."
 
Part 11
Severus was out the door and leaving Percy Weasley to scurry after him.
Students fled out of his way; he knew he must have made a formidable sight as
he stalked up stairs and through corridors to get to the infirmary as soon as
possible. He cursed himself inwardly for being so paranoid that he had refused
Floo access to his quarters, which also meant that he couldn't use it himself
to get anywhere quickly.
By the time they reached the infirmary doors, Weasley had caught up with him
and was breathing heavily.
"What happened, Weasley?" Severus demanded as he pushed the heavy wooden doors
inward. There was no sign of Harry on any of the beds, but there was a privacy
screen erected around one at the far end. He could see Poppy's shadow as she
bustled about.
"I found him in the Prefects' Bathroom," said Weasley. "He was unconscious,
sir. He's been beaten really badly and... and I think..." Weasley couldn't seem
to say any more.
"Out with it, Weasley!" barked Severus.
"There was blood, sir. From... from his bum. I think someone raped him."
Severus was surprised he was still upright; the room was spinning madly around
him. "Weasley, get me the names of every prefect of every House, barring
yourself." Severus had quickly cast about in Percy Weasley's mind, so he knew
the boy had nothing to do with Harry's attack. "Send every prefect to
Dumbledore’s office and make sure they all wait there."
"Yes, sir. He will be all right, won't he?"
"I hope so, Weasley, I hope so."
Once Percy was gone, Severus marched down the ward and looked around the edge
of the privacy curtain. Poppy was mopping Harry's brow with a damp cloth. There
was a drip in his left arm and Harry's eyes were closed, although it was hard
to tell whether he was just sleeping. There were empty vials on the bedside
cabinet.
"How is he, Poppy?" whispered Severus.
"Ah, Severus. You're here, good. He's had a small concussion, I think he must
have banged his head but I've dealt with that, he's just sleeping now. I gave
him some Dreamless Sleep and have tended his bruises and his wounds. There were
no broken bones, thank goodness. I've done an internal exam and I've sent for
the Aurors. He was raped, Severus, and from the damage, I'd say not just today.
This has been going on for a while. He's also got gonorrhoea. It's treatable,
but it would have been very painful. Those bastards!" ranted Poppy. Severus had
never heard her swear before.
"Why didn't he tell anyone?" asked Severus. He thought Harry had trusted him,
but maybe because of this, Harry was wary of trusting anyone. If he couldn't
feel safe at Hogwarts, where could he?
"He was probably ashamed, Severus. It happens a lot; the victim comes to
believe it was their fault, that they somehow brought it on themselves. My
guess is that the rapists have played upon Harry's insecurities, making Harry
feel that no one would take him seriously if he reported it. Or even worse,
that if he told anyone it would be Harry who was made to feel the one at
fault."
"He's eleven, Poppy! How could it have been his fault?"
"I'm not saying it was, Severus. I'm saying that the rapists made Harry believe
that. Of course it isn't his fault. I can hardly believe that this has happened
here. After what Harry's already been through at that orphanage and then to
come here and think he's escaped it! The poor boy must be so mixed up! I hope
Professor Dumbledore throws the book at them!"
Dumbledore may very well do that, but Severus was going to do a lot worse. No
one hurt his Harry and got away with it. No one.
***
Five boys, four from Slytherin and one from Ravenclaw were expelled later that
night, along with three Slytherin seventh year girls. All had been involved in
raping Harry over the past few months and all were now in the holding cells at
the Ministry of Magic, awaiting their trial, where Severus knew their parents
would be able to buy their way out of Azkaban with fancy lawyers. None of them
would get punished by the justice system, as a few were not yet seventeen and
not considered responsible enough for their actions. Rape trials were difficult
at the best of times and Severus knew that if Harry was called to court his
past would be dragged up yet again.
Marcus Flint had already used that excuse on Dumbledore. "How can a whore get
raped? He was asking for it, he came on to me! What was I supposed to do?"
No, Harry would get no justice in the wizard courts. There was nothing else for
it. Severus would just have to ensure that none of them survived long enough to
reach trial.
***
"Just take some soup, Harry dear?" asked Madam Pomfrey as she lifted up the
spoon towards Harry's mouth. Harry couldn't eat it; he couldn't eat anything.
He'd been feeling sick ever since he woke up, he was so worried about what
Severus was going to say to him. Would he send Harry back to the orphanage
because he'd been a whore again? Maybe no one would want him at the school
anymore. He was too bad, too freaky to be allowed to stay.
The tears fell and Harry hastily rubbed his eyes before the matron saw. His
head hurt and his whole body ached. Before Marcus and the others, Harry had
loved Hogwarts. Loved the paintings that talked to you and the secret passages
and the moving stairs. He didn't want to leave it; he didn't want to leave
Severus.
"He'll hate me! He'll hate me!" sobbed Harry, turning and muffling his cries in
the pillows. Madam Pomfrey stroked his back softly.
"Of course he won't, Harry. Severus loves you very much and none of this is
your fault. Those boys and girls, what they did to you, that was very wrong.
But it was them who were bad for doing it to you when you didn't want it.
That's called rape, Harry and it is a very serious crime. They won't be able to
hurt you any more, they're gone but you're still here."
"Sometimes... sometimes I don't want to be," mumbled Harry. "Sometimes I want
to be dead."
"Oh, Harry," said Madam Pomfrey. She turned Harry over and wrapped him in her
arms.
***
Poppy decided it would be better if Harry didn't go back to class quite yet.
Although he had recovered physically from the vicious attack, Harry hadn't
spoken a word to anyone for days. He just lay in the infirmary refusing food
and he only went to sleep if Poppy dosed him with sleeping draughts.
Severus came to bring Harry back to their quarters; he and Poppy had both
decided the dorms weren't the best place for him at the moment. Harry silently
took Severus' hand and followed him down to the dungeons. Severus tried to get
him to talk, but to no avail. Harry just didn't want to talk.
When Severus reached the door to his private chambers he saw the poster that
some joker had put up in his absence. A crude drawing of Harry in the nude with
the word Gryffinwhore scrawled across it in red ink. He yanked it down from the
wall and balled it up in his fist. Harry didn't seem to have noticed, or if he
did he was deciding to ignore it like he'd been ignoring everything else.
Once they were settled in the living room, Severus summoned Binky and ordered
dinner for both of them. A dinner that he ate by himself… Harry wouldn't touch
any of it.
"Harry, you've got to eat," protested Severus. Harry was skin and bone as it
was; nutrient drips were all well and good in the short term but they could
never take the place of a balanced diet. Harry just shook his head and stared
at the wall above Severus' head.
It was a relief when Harry finally went to bed; Severus didn't know how much
more of this silent treatment he could take. When Binky arrived to remove the
remains of the dinner she glanced towards Harry's closed bedroom door.
"Is Master to be giving the young master Dreamless Sleep?" she asked
tentatively.
"No, Binky. Harry needs to face his demons."
The elf looked scandalised but didn't complain; just clicked her fingers and
Disapparated out of the room with the dirty plates. Severus had always been
curious what sort of magic allowed the elves to circumvent the Hogwarts' wards,
but Albus had never said. The elf may well have thought Severus was being cruel
by not giving Harry the potion tonight but Severus hadn't lied. Harry would
never get better unless things were faced, hard though that was going to be at
the time.
Severus read for a while, but he couldn't really concentrate. One ear was
trained on Harry's door and an hour or so after he'd gone to bed, the screaming
started. Severus set his book down on the coffee table and rushed to Harry's
room.
Harry was tangled up in the bedclothes; sweat was dripping down his face as he
struggled against Marcus and his cronies in his nightmare. Severus gently shook
him awake.
"Ssh, Harry. It's all right. You're all right now, you're safe now."
Harry woke up, his eyes darting about the room and then he launched himself at
Severus, wrapping his arms around Severus' neck.
"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" sobbed Harry. "I didn't mean to be bad! Please don't
send me back! Please!"
"Ssh, Harry. No one's sending you anywhere." Was this what Harry had been
worried about all along? That because of Marcus and what they'd done, Harry
thought he would be sent back to that horrible orphanage?
"I'll be good! I promise I'll be good!" Harry was in near-hysterics now and
Severus was afraid he wouldn't be able to calm him down at all. He just held
Harry and stroked his back, letting him know without words that he wasn't
alone. Merlin, how awful must it have been to keep this to himself? To not have
been able to talk to anyone about it?
But his sniffles did ease eventually and Harry just sat kneeling on the bed
resting his head against Severus' shoulders.
"Can – can you stay with me tonight?" Harry asked at last, hiding his head
against Severus' neck. "I feel scared being on my own."
"I can stay for as long you want me to," promised Severus.
 
Part 12
Harry ran from Charms, the tears almost blinding him as he remembered all the
taunts and the whispers that had been following him for days now.
"Who'd want to rape him anyway? He's ugly!"
"Teacher's pet, that's all he is."
"Do you reckon that's why Snape likes him so much?"
"No wonder he's getting good marks!"
"He really was a whore, then?"
"Who would ever love a whore?"
Harry's past had not remained secret for long and he wished and wished with all
his might that he'd never been an orphan; that he'd lived a perfect life with a
perfect family somewhere instead of the nightmare he'd endured. Professor
Flitwick's squeaky voice followed him out, but Harry refused to go back. He ran
and ran, not sure where he was going; the stairs kept moving this way and that
so even if he had a specific destination in mind, it wouldn't have mattered.
The stairs finally ground to a halt so that he could get off and he ended up in
a corridor he had never seen before. In contrast to the well-lighted areas of
the classrooms and dorms, this corridor was completely dark and Harry could
barely see a foot in front of him. His footsteps were muffled by a layer of
dust on the stone. He flailed his arms about and spat cobwebs out of his mouth
when he walked through one that he couldn't see.
"Lumos," Harry lit the end of his wand and waved it about the walls. There were
lots of portraits; all the subjects were in old-fashioned dress, even more old-
fashioned than the others gracing Hogwarts' walls. None of them were moving or
talking, but as Harry walked further down the corridor, the hairs on the back
of his neck prickled as if he was being watched.
Stout wooden doors lined both sides of the corridor, but most of them were
locked. A door at the very far end of the corridor was ajar; Harry could see a
sliver of silvery light from the side of it. He hurried down and pushed the
door fully open, his heart beating frantically inside his chest wondering what
he would find. He sighed in disappointment; it was some sort of store room.
Broken chairs were stacked up against the walls along with wobbly desks.
Brooms; mops and buckets were tucked into the corners along with a selection of
Mrs. Scower's All-Purpose Magical Mess remover. In the centre of the room,
something was covered with a white dust sheet. Just as Harry was about to
leave, he was sure he heard giggling from behind the sheet. Was someone hiding
under there?
Harry marched back to the centre of the room and yanked the dust sheet down,
expecting to see another student, but it wasn't a student he saw. It was his
own reflection in a large gilt-framed mirror. Harry watched in awe as other
reflections came to life in the mirror in front of him. There was woman with
long red hair and green eyes, eyes the same shape as Harry's. A man stood next
to her, his arm around her shoulder. He was wearing glasses and a small tuft of
hair stood up at the back of his head, just like Harry's. Were these – could
these people be his parents?
Harry's breath caught in his throat. He turned around, but there was no one
else behind him. They were only in the mirror. There was a soft mist behind his
parents and through it Harry could see the shadows of other people milling
about too. Who were they? Were they part of his family too? Harry didn't want
to leave. His parents wouldn't hurt him; wouldn't gossip about him and what
he'd been through. They smiled and nodded at him.
Harry settled down in front of the mirror; feeling his heart lighter than it
had been in weeks. This was what he had always wanted. To have a family. To
belong.
***
It was two days before Severus found Harry sitting glassy-eyed in front of the
Mirror of Erised. He thought Dumbledore had got rid of the thing long ago. As
the cobwebs and dust testified the storeroom hadn't been used in years, and it
was only now that the stairs had finally led him to that particular corridor.
"Harry?" Severus said loudly. Harry hadn't eaten nor had anything to drink for
two days. His lips were dry and cracked, but he didn't seem to notice. The
mirror was dangerous; men could waste away sitting in front of it if the life
shown in the mirror was a lot happier than the real one. That was the danger
though: it wasn't real, it was an illusion created by the mirror. Although not
sentient in itself, the mirror was charmed to read a person's mind and show
them what they most desired, whether it would be fame or fortune or anything
else.
Severus knew Harry was lost in the mirror, nothing outside it existed for him
at the moment and Severus had no choice. He had to lift Harry away from it to
break the spell. As soon as Severus lifted Harry up the boy screamed and
flailed about in his arms.
"No! Come back! Come back!" Harry yelled, reaching out towards the mirror.
"Harry, look at me," said Severus firmly. "Look at me."
Harry turned and glanced at Severus' face. "Professor? What happened? Where did
they go?"
"Who, Harry?"
"My – my parents. They were in the mirror."
Severus felt his heart break anew at the despair in Harry's voice. Where most
people might see fame, fortune, popularity or power, Harry saw nothing more
than his family. That was his deepest desire? To be part of a family?
"Oh, Harry," sighed Severus and crushed Harry tight against his chest. Harry's
tummy growled. "Let's get you something to eat, okay?"
Harry nodded against him and clung to him. Severus wasn't prepared to let him
go just yet and carried Harry all the way back to their quarters. Once he'd
settled Harry on the sofa, he sent a Patronus message to Albus and Poppy to let
them know that Harry was all right, or at least he would be.
Binky took his order for some soup and sandwiches and popped back a few minutes
later along with a large jug of water. Severus poured Harry out a small glass;
he knew Harry was bound to be thirsty but needed to drink a little bit at a
time. "Sip it slowly," said Severus as he handed Harry the water. "Or you'll
get cramps."
Harry nodded and obeyed; sipping the water as slowly as he could manage. He ate
his soup and his sandwiches without complaint, unlike the past few weeks when
Severus hadn't seen Harry eat anything at all. Harry still looked so thin; his
face was all sharp planes and angles and there were dark hollows under his
eyes.
"What happened, Harry?" Severus asked softly once Harry had eaten and drank his
fill. "Why did you run out from Professor Flitwick's class?"
"They were talking about me."
"Who?"
"Some of the others. They – they called me a whore and said I was getting good
marks because I was doing things with the teachers. They said no one would ever
love me because I'd – I'd been a whore," said Harry as the tears began to flow.
.
Severus felt the rage bubbling beneath the surface at the stupidity of children
and the callousness of the people who’d betrayed Harry so badly when he was
supposed to be looked after.
"Harry, that isn't true. Any of it."
"I – I know," sobbed Harry. "But it hurts. It hurts! I just couldn't stay there
any longer! I couldn't!"
Severus sat down next to Harry on the sofa and rocked him in his arms. Harry's
whole body was trembling with the force of his sobs and Severus didn't know
what to do to help him. Harry had been through so much, both at the orphanage
and then again at Hogwarts. He'd already had conversations with the headmaster
about this, for Albus was determined that Harry be trained as soon as possible.
No one knew when Voldemort might return but one thing was for certain – that he
would indeed return.
The Weasleys were the obvious choice; both of them were in the Order, as were
their two eldest sons and they would be well placed to protect Harry if it came
right down to it. The Hogwarts' wards were extensive, but they hadn't saved
Harry from people like Marcus Flint, had they? The Burrow's defences could be
increased and there were extensive outbuildings that could be used for Harry's
training sessions.
"Harry, you like the Weasleys, don't you?" asked Severus.
"Yes, sir. They've all been nice to me."
"Well, the thing is, Mr. and Mrs. Weasley have been talking to the headmaster
about adopting you."
"They want to adopt me?" Harry sounded so surprised, as if he didn't think
anyone would ever want him. "Does that mean you don't want me any more?"
"No, Harry. I love having you here, but perhaps the best thing for you right
now would be to live with a family, a proper family. I can't give you that or
all the time you deserve, I have other responsibilities here. Mr. and Mrs.
Weasley can give you all the love and attention you need and we can even
arrange home schooling for you if you'd like."
"What's that?"
"You would live at their home, and the teachers would come to see you there."
"So I can still learn magic? And you'd still be one my teachers?"
"I would indeed, Harry. It's something to think about, isn't it?"
Harry was quiet. "I'd miss my friends. I never had any before."
"So you'd rather stay at school and stay with the Weasleys during holidays? We
can arrange it however you like, Harry. It's entirely up to you."
"They really want me?" Harry asked, wide-eyed. "So Ron and the twins and Percy
would be my brothers? And I'd have a sister too?"
"And two more brothers, I don't think you've met Bill or Charlie yet, have
you?"
"No, sir." Harry bit his lower lip and Severus wondered if he was going to cry
again, but he seemed to have got control of himself this time. "I think - I
think I'd like to have a family very much."
Severus hugged him again. "They'll be delighted to hear that, Harry."
"Can I still come and talk to you when I'm at school? I like talking to you."
"You can talk to me about anything you need to, Harry. I'll always be here for
you."
Severus was determined to make sure of that.
 
Part 13
Two days before the Christmas break Harry's adoption ceremony was held in
Dumbledore’s office to welcome him into the Weasley family. All the Weasleys
were there, including Bill and Charlie who looked very dashing in their royal
blue robes. Dumbledore would perform the ceremony; Professor Snape and
Professor McGonagall were there as guests and Madam Pomfrey was going to be
Harry's godmother. Harry had asked Professor Snape to be his godfather when
he'd heard of the adoption ceremony, but it wasn't allowed since Harry already
had one. The fact that Sirius Black had betrayed his parents wouldn't have
mattered for the ceremony, but Harry was allowed a godmother since he hadn't
had one before.
Everyone was dressed in their best. Professor Snape was wearing a charcoal grey
dress robe with silver serpents adorning the lapels. The headmaster was wearing
a dark red robe covered in golden runes; Harry thought he looked as if he'd
dressed in some of the Gryffindor bed hangings and he had to stop himself from
giggling. Professor McGonagall had gone for bottle green, with a small ribbon
of tartan round her hat.
Harry, Madam Pomfrey, and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley were all dressed in white as
they would be the main participants in the ceremony. Professor Snape and Madam
Pomfrey had already gone over what was expected of Harry. It was not a lot
really as it was normally performed for babies, but he still felt a bit nervous
and overwhelmed at everything.
Professor McGonagall had taken Harry aside after lessons one day and apologised
profusely for how she'd been treating him. She was appalled that she hadn't
picked up sooner on what was going on. Harry had accepted the apology and
hurried out; he didn't really like talking about that. His friends never asked
him about it and if he was quiet sometimes they never bothered him and let him
sort things out for himself. Harry knew he would have been coping much worse if
it hadn't been for Professor Snape.
The man had listened to Harry talk about what had happened, but he had never
judged and he had never thought it was Harry's fault. Slowly but surely Harry
was coming to believe it now that his abusers were gone and they couldn't keep
filling his head with poison anymore.
The Weasleys were going to adopt him; he was going to have a family at long
last and he had the best friend in the world. Harry had never told Professor
Snape that he was his best friend, but Harry was sure the man knew it already.
Bill had promised to take Harry on a tour of Gringotts so that he could see his
parents' vault and Charlie was going to take him and Ron to Romania in the
summer holidays to see the dragon reserve. Harry had felt part of the family as
soon as he stepped through the office door. His jaw was aching he was smiling
so much, unused to the exercise.
Ron couldn't stop grinning and whispered to Harry. "We'll be like twins too,
won't we?"
Harry nodded eagerly.
Ginny had smiled shyly at him and briefly held his hand before Harry was given
more hugs, this time by Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. It felt wonderful. Snow was
falling outside the windows and there were no lights on inside the room, just
the flickering fire and candles on an altar set up in front of Professor
Dumbledore.
"Are you ready, Harry?" asked Professor Dumbledore, pushing his glasses up his
nose.
Severus squeezed Harry’s shoulder and he nodded.
"Great Goddess Artemis, protector of the young. We ask that you attend this
rite and welcome this child to the moonlit Earth," began Dumbledore.
Mr. and Mrs. Weasley each took hold of Harry's hands and brought him towards
Dumbledore, stepping back a few paces once there. "Great God Apollo, golden
brother, god of heroes and poets. We ask that you attend this rite, and welcome
this child to the sunlit earth. Who is this new traveller?"
"Harry Potter," the Weasleys all replied at once.
Professor Dumbledore lifted a censer and waved it over Harry, who stifled a
cough at the strong smell of the incense.
"I bless you, Harry with the power of air and fire." Dumbledore set the incense
down, then picked up a small bowl about the size of an eggcup and wet his
fingers in it. He pressed his forefinger to Harry's forehead and made a sign on
his skin. "I bless you, Harry, by the power of earth and water. Lord Apollo,
guide him in the ways of kindness and courage. Let him be valiant and wise, as
you are. Give to him your talents and appreciation for poetry, art and music.
Warm him through the long days of learning ahead. Lady Artemis, protect Harry
with your vigilance. Let him breathe in your fresh air of the forest. Let him
be as strong, free, and independent as you are. Guide Harry's hunt for his own
path. Protect him through the darkest of nights, and help him ponder the
infinity of the starry sky. So mote it be."
"So mote it be," everyone else replied.
"Arthur Weasley, will you take Harry Potter into your family as a son? Will you
love and protect him as if he was your own flesh and blood? Will you join your
magic with his?"
"I will."
"Molly Weasley, will you take Harry Potter into your family as a son? Will you
love and protect him as if he was your own flesh and blood? Will you join your
magic with his?"
"I will."
Dumbledore turned around and lifted a small dagger from the altar. Arthur
Weasley held out his left hand; Dumbledore made a small nick in the palm and a
few drops of blood fell into the silver bowl. Molly Weasley did the same and
then it was Harry's turn. Severus had told him that this was coming, but he
still felt nervous as he held out his hand. It stung a little when the dagger
first sliced his flesh, but it healed fast. Harry was sure Dumbledore must have
said a silent spell in order to speed up the process.
"Harry Potter, your blood is now mingled with that of the Weasleys. By what
name do you wish to be known from this day forward?"
"Harry Potter-Weasley," said Harry. Out of the corner of his eye he could see
that Mrs. Weasley was crying already.
"Poppy Pomfrey, you have agreed to act as godmother to Harry Potter-Weasley. Do
you promise to help and advise Harry in any time of need? Do you promise to
help his parents raise him? Do you promise to protect him if needed?"
"I do."
"Harry, you have been accepted and welcomed by your new family. May you each
bring joy to the other and live fruitful, long lives."
Dumbledore clapped and lanterns around the room flared to life. Small tables
had been set out with food and drink but one of them held nothing but wrapped
parcels. "It's traditional to receive gifts on such an occasion," said Severus
pushing Harry towards the table.
Everyone started talking at once; Harry was slapped on the back and hugged more
times than he cared to count. He read the labels and lifted Severus' gift up
first. The paper was dark green with silver snakes that actually slithered
along the wrapping paper. Harry eagerly tore it off; he was still not used to
presents. Inside was a red leather-bound photo album. Scanning through it,
Harry felt his heart shoot up to somewhere near his throat. Inside were
pictures of Harry's parents and himself as a baby. They were moving and waving
at him from the photos. Harry felt tears drip down and he hastily wiped at his
eyes with one hand.
"Hagrid and I wrote to all their friends to gather the photos together. I hope
I didn't upset you."
"You didn't, Professor. It's a wonderful gift." Harry reached up to hug him.
"Thank you. Thank you for everything."
"Welcome to the family, Harry," said Arthur Weasley as he embraced Harry. "I
hope you'll be very happy with us."
"I'm sure I will," said Harry. "Thank you for adopting me, Mr. Weasley."
"The pleasure was all ours, Harry dear," Mrs. Weasley beamed at him. "And you
can't keep calling us Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, you're our son now."
"I can call you Mum and Dad?" Harry hadn't wanted to presume that he could call
them that, even though he very much wanted to.
"That would be an honour, Harry," said Arthur, his new Dad.
"Thanks, Dad," smiled Harry and was wrapped up in another hug from Molly so
fierce he thought his ribs would crack.
***
After the adoption ceremony, the Weasleys and their new addition returned to
The Burrow and Severus returned to his quarters. After over ten years of his
own company, he found them a bit too quiet for his taste now. He went and
stared at Harry's room. The furniture was still there but Harry's things had
all gone to the Weasley household now.
Severus sighed and took out parchment and quill. There was no way Severus
himself could get inside the Ministry holding cells; no way he could even
question Marcus Flint never mind anything else. It was clear from what Harry
had confided in him that Marcus Flint had been the ringleader and his mention
of Draconis left Severus in no doubt as to whom Draconis was.
Severus cast a spell so that his handwriting was unrecognisable and that the
letter could not be traced back to Hogwarts.
Time to kill two birds with one stone. Severus would get revenge for Harry on
both of them.
Severus dipped his quill and began.
Draconis, the Flint boy has talked. He's named you. Take care of the problem.
A/N: naming ceremony/ritual largely based from here: http://www.ecauldron.com/
wiccaning3.php.
 
Part 14 Six years Later
"RONALD WEASLEY!" bellowed Molly from the foot of the stairs. Ron jumped like a
scalded cat and groaned into his hands. Harry smiled and pushed him towards the
door of their bedroom. "Go on, Ron. You knew she was going to find out sooner
or later."
"I know, I'd just hoped it would be later. Much later," said Ron as he left the
room and made his way downstairs, with his trunk still only half packed.
Harry had nearly finished his own packing; although it always amazed him at the
end of every summer holiday how scattered his things got. Textbooks were all
over the house; one time he'd even found some in the attic although he didn't
remember taking any of his books up there. Ron reckoned it was the ghoul
playing silly buggers and when Harry found his entire potions kit up on the
roof, he had to agree, as Harry had been nowhere near the roof.
Once everything was packed in his trunk, Harry finished Ron's packing for him
and locked them both. His eyes were drawn again to the front page of the Daily
Prophet that was sitting on his bed, even though he knew the picture and the
story off by heart by now. The unsmiling face of Lucius Malfoy, or as Harry had
known him, Draconis, looked out from the front page. Now that Voldemort was
gone, Lucius Malfoy was appealing against his sentence for murdering Marcus
Flint, citing that he had been under the Imperius Curse from the Dark Lord.
Harry knew that was a lie, for Voldemort hadn’t returned to a physical body
until Harry's fourth year. Malfoy was just trying to get out of Azkaban and
Harry hoped the Wizengamot could see through his ploy. After Marcus Flint had
been killed, the others who had raped Harry had all admitted their part in the
crime and Harry hadn't even needed to testify against them. They'd all been
sentenced to Azkaban and Harry wondered if Malfoy's appeal was successful,
would the others appeal as well? Would his rapists be allowed to go free?
Harry hadn't thought of what he'd been through for a while, he'd been too busy.
As well as his normal schoolwork he had received extra training from the
Hogwarts staff and members of the Order to prepare him to face Voldemort. He'd
been trained in both wizarding and Muggle duelling techniques, including
martial arts and fencing. Spells, jinxes, curses, counter-curses, battle
tactics, stealth, Occlumency… he'd been trained in all of them. Harry was the
Order's secret weapon, a wizard who had come into his full powers when he'd
still been a child and Voldemort had not expected so powerful an opponent.
Harry tried not to dwell on the fact that the reason he'd acquired his full
powers so young was because he had been raped, but occasionally it was all he
could think about.
Harry had been trained for almost seven years as a weapon, but now that he had
finally defeated Voldemort, he had no idea what he wanted to do with the rest
of his life. He hadn't been at all sure he would live long enough to have one.
Ron wanted to be an Auror, but Harry had had enough of pursuing Dark wizards.
He wanted to do something that made him happy, not miserable. He loved
Quidditch and although he had numerous offers from teams to come and play for
them after he finished school, Harry wasn't sure he wanted it as a career. He
was infamous enough already without giving the tabloids any more reason to nose
about in his life and he knew becoming a Quidditch player would make him fair
game for that.
He supposed he could always join Fred and George at their joke shop, but Harry
wasn't sure that was right for him either. The fact was he just didn't know
what to pursue as a career, but at least he would have the seventh year of
school to give him a chance to think about it. It wasn't as if he'd be
destitute if he didn't get a job or a career straightaway. When he had come of
age, he had received inheritances from his parents and from the Black estate;
Sirius had left everything to him.
Harry rubbed his itching eyes and went downstairs where Ron was still being
berated by Molly for not telling them he'd been made Head Boy.
"Harry, did you know?" demanded Molly.
"I did," said Harry with a broad grin. "But Ron made me promise not to tell. He
didn't want a fuss."
"A fuss? You've been made Head Boy! I can fuss over you all I want! Are you all
packed? Ginny?"
"Yes, Mum," said Ginny and Harry together.
***
As always at the start of a new term King's Cross station was bustling with
students old and new, together with their luggage; their familiars and their
families seeing them off. Harry, Ron and Ginny were wrapped up in hugs; Ron and
Ginny wriggling out of them as quickly as possible as if they felt they were
too old now for hugs from their parents. Harry accepted the hugs for as long as
they lasted; smiling when Molly and Arthur finally released him.
"Now you all be good," said Arthur.
"Dad," groaned Ginny. "We're not children!" Ginny wandered off to find her
friends. Molly and Arthur gave Ron and Harry some last minute waves as they
stepped up onto the train. Harry's mind suddenly went back to the conversation
that morning at The Burrow. "Ron! You still haven't told them? I thought Mum
meant did I know about the engagement. You still haven't told them about you
and Hermione?"
"God no, Harry! You know what Mum's like; she'll have us all up at Madam
Malkin's getting fitted for dress robes for the wedding. It's not as if we're
getting married tomorrow, is it?"
"I know, but still you should have told Mum and Dad."
Harry couldn't imagine keeping something like that secret from them. It wasn't
as if Ron was in trouble or anything; it was a happy occasion, wasn't it?
"Ron, you do love Hermione, don't you?"
"Of course I do, why else do you think we got engaged?"
Harry didn't reply for a moment or two. "Er, she's not - she's not in trouble,
is she?"
Ron blushed pink. "Harry! No! Blimey, don't let Hermione hear you say that!"
"Hear what?" asked Hermione as she came up behind them in the corridor. Harry
hurriedly pushed open a door into an empty carriage.
"Nothing," said Ron. "We have to go to the prefects' carriage again. See you
later, Harry."
Harry nodded and hauled his and Ron's trunks up onto the luggage rack. It felt
strange being back on the Hogwarts Express and knowing it was his last year at
Hogwarts. Everything felt so final somehow. The last time he'd be going to a
Hogwarts welcome feast; the last time he would hear Dumbledore's start of term
notices; the last time he'd be arranging DA lessons.
Lost in his thoughts, Harry hadn't heard the carriage door opening.
"Hi, Harry. Do you mind if I sit here?"
"Oh, hi, Luna. No, go ahead. Did you have a nice summer?"
"It was interesting," said Luna dreamily. "We finally found some Crumple Horned
Snorkacks."
"Did you?"
"No, but sometimes it's the searching that's the fun part, isn't it? You look
sad, Harry. I thought you'd be happier now that you defeated Lord Voldemort."
"So did I," said Harry. "So did I."
***
Harry waited until all his dorm mates were asleep before heading down to the
dungeons. It was well beyond curfew but with the help of the Marauders Map he
managed to avoid Filch and the prefects. He felt guilty at disturbing Severus
so late, but Severus had always said Harry could talk to him whenever he wanted
to.
Wiping his sweaty hands on his dressing gown; Harry knocked softly on the door.
It was quite some time before it was answered. Severus was looking very
dishevelled; his hair was mussed up, his cheeks were flushed and his dressing
gown was thrown haphazardly over a bare chest. Harry was sure he saw a love-
bite on one shoulder; there was a bruise there in the shape of teeth.
Harry blushed and backed away from the door. "I'm sorry. I didn't mean to
disturb you. I'll get back to my dorm now."
"Severus? Who is it?" called a voice from within and Harry's heart thundered in
his ears. He recognised that voice.
"Charlie? You and Charlie?" Harry almost screamed and Harry's stomach roiled.
He turned and fled.
"Harry! Come back!"
But Harry ignored the voices.
Harry thought they were friends. After all the time he and Severus had spent
together training – they talked more and more, but Severus had never even
mentioned that he was seeing anyone, never mind one of Harry's brothers! Why
hadn't he said anything? Harry thought they were close. He thought they shared
everything, for Harry had certainly shared all his life with Severus. Severus
was the only one who knew everything Harry had been through, both at the
orphanage and during his training and then his battle with Voldemort. Was he
only pretending to be friends as long as they had needed Harry to defeat the
Dark Lord?
So now what? They didn't need him for that any more, did they?
Harry didn't know where he was headed; he just knew he had to get as far away
from Severus and Charlie as possible.
"You're out late tonight, Mr. Potter," came a voice near Harry's knees.
"Professor Flitwick, sir. I couldn't sleep."
"Me neither, perhaps you'd keep me company for a cup of tea in the kitchens?"
Harry nodded; too surprised at the lack of condemnation in the Charms
professor's voice to do anything else. He hadn't even taken points. Professor
Flitwick tickled the pear in the painting outside the kitchens and pulled down
the handle that appeared. The elves were only too pleased to help them and not
only were they issued with tea, but with plates of cakes and biscuits as well.
Flitwick poured them both out a cup of tea each and then settled back on his
cushions. "So what's bothering you, Harry?" asked Flitwick.
"I don't know," said Harry. "Nothing. Everything. I thought I'd feel different
once he was gone, you know? I don't feel I have a purpose anymore. I don't know
what's expected of me now. I went to talk to Professor Snape about it tonight;
he said I could talk to him anytime. But..."
"But?"
"But he had company tonight. Male company. I didn't even know he was gay."
"Harry, has it perhaps occurred to you that Professor Snape never mentioned his
preferences to you because of what happened in your past? That he didn't want
you to feel uncomfortable in his company?"
"I've never felt uncomfortable with him," said Harry. "He's never done anything
inappropriate."
"Well, maybe he thought discussing his sexual orientation might be
inappropriate. He was trying to protect you."
"I don't need protecting," sighed Harry. "I'm not that scared child any more.
I'm not a child, full stop."
"Do you think there was another reason why you felt so upset at seeing him with
another man?" prodded Flitwick.
"What do you mean?"
"As you said, Harry. You are no longer a child and maybe the feelings you're
having are not a child's feelings."
"You think – you think I might be in love with him?"
"Only you would know that, Harry. More tea?" asked Flitwick, refilling Harry's
cup.
 
Part 15
Over the next few days Harry couldn't stop thinking about the conversation he'd
had with Professor Flitwick. Was he in love with Severus? Is that why he'd been
so upset at knowing Charlie and Severus were together? Harry hadn't really
given love or being in love much thought over the years, he'd been too worried
about Voldemort to have much time for romance. He'd had one date and one kiss
with Cho Chang and both of them had been a disaster; she'd been crying the
whole time he'd been kissing her and on their date had wanted to talk about
Cedric, when Harry hadn't been at all ready to face that yet.
The Yule Ball of fourth year had been even worse; Harry couldn't dance and
being one of the Champions (which he'd never asked for in the first place)
meant that he and Parvati Patil had been the centre of attention. Harry had
hated every minute of it. Harry had never thought of Parvati as anything other
than his dance partner for the evening and in the end she'd gone off with one
of the boys from Beauxbatons when Harry hadn't paid her enough attention.
That brought him back to thinking about boys; he hadn't really given them much
thought either and in fact the only person he spent a lot of time with was
Severus. Harry liked him; he knew that, but did he love him? What was being in
love like anyway? No one ever said; they just bandied the words around when
they were talking about their girlfriends or boyfriends. Harry wasn't sure they
knew what it meant either – it was just something to say.
In Potions class on Wednesday, Harry tried his best not to stare too much, but
his eyes kept being drawn back to his teacher; who seemed to be avoiding
looking at Harry as well. Sometimes their eyes locked and they each looked
quickly away. Harry was so nervous he was surprised he managed to make a decent
potion at all.
"Mr. Malfoy, what colour is your potion?" asked Severus stopping by Malfoy's
table.
"Blue, sir," said Malfoy with a sneer. "Like it's supposed to be."
"That is not blue, that is purple," said Severus. "You forgot to add wormwood.
Do it again and this time follow the instructions. Evanesco."
As the contents of his cauldron vanished, Malfoy's pale cheeks flushed with
colour and he glared hard at Severus' back when he turned around, but Malfoy
didn't say anything to his face. It was a relief when the bell rang for lunch.
Malfoy muttered something about his father, but Harry knew that Malfoy senior
could do nothing while he was still in Azkaban. It didn't seem to matter to
Draco, who still sauntered about the place as if he owned it.
"Mr. Potter, you will see me after class."
"Yes, sir," said Harry. He'd known it was coming but it didn't make his heart
beat any slower. Harry put his unused ingredients away and washed out his
equipment with the rest of the class but then waited while they all filed out
and he remained behind. Once they were gone, Severus locked and warded the
classroom door.
"Have a seat, Harry," Severus waved his hand at the stool sitting in front of
his desk. Harry wandered over to it and sat down, wiping clammy hands on his
school robes. "I guess it's time we had a little talk, isn't it? I never meant
to upset you."
"I wasn't upset," said Harry to his knees.
"No? That's why you ran off, was it? Because you weren't upset about seeing me
with Charlie?"
"How long ... how long have you and Charlie been ... er ... been together?"
Harry glanced up and saw Severus flushing.
"It was only a one-time thing, Harry. We're not together. And you should never
have seen it. No student should. I should have been more discreet and so should
Charlie. He knew we were at school."
"Why didn't you ever tell me you were gay?" asked Harry and hated how thick his
voice sounded. His throat was aching with the effort of holding back tears and
he couldn't figure out why he was so upset today.
"You were always so young before, Harry. And after what had happened to you, I
didn't want to scare you. I didn't want you to think that I was like those men
who had hurt you."
"You never scared me," replied Harry. "You never made me feel uncomfortable and
you even turned me down. Do you remember when I tried to seduce you?"
Severus smiled softly. "Harry, that wasn't a seduction, that was a scared
little boy doing what he was taught to do. Seduction is a mutual thing."
"So ... so do you love Charlie? Does he love you?"
Severus shook his head. "No, sometimes it isn't about love, but it wasn't like
those men who hurt you either. We both wanted it, Harry. That's the difference.
We both knew it wasn't love but we could accept that."
"Oh. I ... I don't think I could ever do that if it wasn't love," said Harry
softly.
"I'd expect nothing less from you, Harry, and one day you are going to find the
person who makes your soul sing."
***
Harry went to lunch with a lighter heart than he'd had all week. Severus just
hadn't wanted to scare him; it wasn't that he didn't trust Harry with his
personal life. They could still talk and that conversation after class made
Harry feel as if he was being talked to like an adult, like an equal, not like
a child or even as a wayward student.
When Harry sat down between Neville and Seamus, Seamus was grinning like a
lunatic and kept giving sly glances in Neville's direction, who was blushing
almost purple. "What's going on?" asked Harry as he helped himself to carrots,
mashed potato and roast beef.
"Neville's finally gone and done it," said Seamus. "He's asked Luna to go with
him on the first Hogsmeade weekend."
"That's great, Neville!" said Harry warmly, pleased for his friend. Neville had
been making moony eyes at Luna for months now and had only just got up the
courage to ask her out. "When is the next one?"
"The first weekend in October," said Seamus round a mouthful of food. Hermione,
who was sitting opposite them, gave a very indignant sniff and turned to
Lavender Brown. Harry tried hard not to giggle at her; soon Hermione would be
his sister-in-law. Wouldn't that be weird?
"So, who are you going with to Hogsmeade?" prompted Seamus after he'd swallowed
his food this time.
"No one in particular," said Harry as he glanced towards the Ravenclaw table
and saw Cho Chang deep in conversation with another girl.
"So you and Cho are definitely over?" asked Neville.
"I don't think we were ever really on," said Harry. "She was in love with
Cedric. I think she only wanted to go out with me because I – I was there when
he – when he – "
The tears that had been threatening all through the conversation with Severus
suddenly found an outlet and Harry dived over the bench and ran out of the
Great Hall before they all saw him crying. He went to the boys' toilets nearest
the Great Hall for some privacy, but discovered he wasn't alone in there.
Malfoy was there with his two goons, Crabbe and Goyle. Harry turned to go back
the way he'd come, but Malfoy waved his wand at the door and shut it in Harry's
face.
"Well, well, if it isn't cry baby Potty," snarled Malfoy. "What's the matter?
Thinking of what my father did to you? I bet you loved it, didn't you, Potter?
On your knees in front of him. That's where you belong. You're nothing but a
filthy whore and you'll pay for putting my father in jail."
"Your father's in jail because he murdered Marcus Flint," said Harry calmly.
The tears had gone now; he was no longer a scared child and Malfoy and his
cronies were no match for him. "I'm just glad that my rapist is in jail."
"My father wasn't a rapist!" protested Malfoy hotly and Harry noticed he didn't
deny that his father was a murderer. "It was you! You were a whore! You seduced
him!"
"Yeah, just keep telling yourself that. That a four year old seduced a grown
man."
Crabbe and Goyle exchanged wary glances.
"You're a fucking liar, Potter!" screamed Malfoy as he raised his wand. Harry
used wandless and wordless magic to relieve all three of them of their wands.
They all staggered back against the wall with the force of Harry's Expelliarmus
spell and lay there dazed and disorientated. Harry threw their wands into the
nearest sink and left the bathroom on shaky legs. He knew he was powerful
enough to best them, but Harry knew that his power was sometimes hard to
control. They were lucky they had only ended up dazed and nothing worse.
Seamus caught up with Harry as they made their way to the Herbology
greenhouses. "Are you okay, Harry? I didn't mean to bring up all that about
Cedric again. Me and my big mouth, eh?"
"I'm fine, Seamus. Sometimes it just sneaks up on you, you know?"
"What took you so long? Needed some time alone, eh?"
"Malfoy and his pet gorillas were in the bathroom. Malfoy thought he'd take me
on."
"Has he got a death wish?" whistled Seamus. "He does realise you defeated the
Dark Lord single-handed, doesn't he?"
"I don't think he particularly cares about that. He thinks I'm responsible for
his father being in jail."
"He needs to get a grip," said Seamus, pushing open the greenhouse door. "The
reason he's in jail is because he's a criminal. What did Snape want?"
The change of subject was so abrupt that Harry almost blurted out their entire
conversation. "Just a chat."
Seamus grinned. "Harry, Snape never asks anyone to stay behind just for a chat.
Did you get detention?"
"No. It was just a chat," said Harry firmly and refused to say any more.
 
Part 16
Harry woke up to sticky pyjamas and a lingering sense of ecstasy from the
dreams he could never remember. Staring around the dormitory, he saw all the
other beds had already been made and the boys were gone, so at least he was
spared Seamus' good-natured ribbing about the frequency of his wet dreams
lately. Neville never teased; he just blushed if the subject was ever brought
up and hurried out. Dean just tended to stare at Harry with a knowing smirk, as
if he knew exactly what Harry's dreams had been about. That was the problem,
Harry never remembered. He was only ever left with messy thighs and wet
pyjamas. He didn't even know if the person in his dream was male or female. All
he knew was that the dreams made him feel really, really good and for some
strange reason, they also made him feel safe.
Harry cast a cleaning spell over his groin so that he wouldn't have to walk
down the corridor to the bathroom with his pyjamas in such a state. Through the
window, the sun was shining down from a cloudless blue sky, but Harry knew the
weather could be deceptive. It was October and just because it was sunny
outside did not mean it was going to be warm, especially this far north. Harry
yanked up the lid of his trunk and threw out some clothes to take to the
bathroom with him: jeans, a white shirt, a blue jumper, fresh underwear and
socks. Once he got to the bathroom, he had to trek all the way back as he'd
forgotten his soap bag. The clock on his bedside table showed 9.32 in bright
red numerals; Harry couldn't remember the last time he'd slept in so late.
The corridors and bathroom were deserted, everyone else must have headed down
to breakfast already and Harry's tummy gave a small growl, as if hinting that's
where Harry should be too. But Harry had other plans this morning. He still
felt aroused after his dreams the night before and he was determined to make
the most of having the bathroom to himself. It was so difficult to find privacy
in school and at home it was the same. He shared a bedroom with Ron and there
were always being so many people about that Harry never felt comfortable
touching himself in the bathroom; before he came of age he couldn't cast any
silencing charms.
Despite what had happened in Harry's past, he was a perfectly healthy, normal
seventeen-year-old and he had a libido to match. Some days he was surprised he
got anything done at all; his prick had a mind of its own and he would get
erections at the most inopportune times. One time he'd fallen asleep during
Divination and when he woke up, he had a throbbing erection that just wouldn't
go down. He had to dash to the toilets to take care of it before Potions and
had ended up being late; he hadn't been able to explain why, so he'd got
detention.
Harry checked the shower cubicles and all the toilet stalls just to make sure
he was on his own before grabbing his soap bag and heading for the shower
furthest from the door. Harry Accioed two towels from the shelf on the wall
opposite him and draped them over the shower door. There was a small shelf in
the corner where Harry put out his shampoo and shower gel and then turned the
lock on the door before removing his pyjamas. He slung them over the wall
dividing his cubicle from the next one and turned on the water as hot as he
could stand it.
His prick had jerked as soon as he'd clicked the lock and was already leaking
with precome. It was Saturday. Harry had no classes and no detention and
everyone else would be too busy thinking about the Hogsmeade trip to wonder
what was taking Harry so long in the shower. Harry suspected the reason he had
been having so many wet dreams lately was because he didn't get the chance to
do this very often.
He poured some shower gel into his hands and lathered it up, smoothing it over
his neck and shoulders, sighing as he did so before moving down his chest and
paying particular attention to his nipples. He'd discovered how sensitive they
were quite by accident but now, whenever he pleasured himself, he always made
sure to play with them first. It was as if there was an electrical current
connecting his cock directly with his nipples and once he'd pinched and
squeezed them for over an hour before he couldn't bear it any longer and had to
touch his cock. It had been one of the strongest orgasms he'd ever had.
Harry ducked his head under the hot water, soaking his hair and then reaching
for the apple-scented shampoo, one of his favourites. It always reminded him of
the orchard at home and during the summer months Harry had enjoyed his first
few forays into self-pleasure there beneath the canopy of trees. There was
something so naughty about doing it outdoors and Harry had always been on a
knife-edge of panic in case anyone caught him, but he'd still done it anyway.
He massaged his scalp even knowing that no matter what he did, his hair wasn't
going to behave. With his hands still covered in lather; he moved them down his
chest and pinched both nipples at the same time, making them stand up in little
peaks and making his cock harden even further. Harry moaned and lowered his
hand, gripping his shaft in a silky, soapy grip. God, he loved this! Loved the
way his fingers glided over his skin and made every hair on his body stand on
end. The tension was coiling like a snake in his belly; the hot water pelting
down on him was making him even more aroused. He could almost imagine he was
standing underneath a waterfall in some exotic locale rather than in a very
ordinary school bathroom.
His cock was aching, throbbing like a second heartbeat in his groin and Harry
knew he wouldn't be able to tease himself for as long as he had anticipated.
The shampoo lather had all but gone now, so Harry poured some more shower gel
over his hands and smoothed it along the length of his cock, pulling the
foreskin up and down over the head and making his knees weak as he stroked
faster and faster. He splayed his left hand against the tiled back wall for
balance as his other hand glided over his cock so quickly it was nothing but a
blur. Harry didn't need to see it, he could feel it, right from his head down
to his toes.
His heart was thudding against his chest and he was feeling more and more
light-headed. He felt his balls tightening, getting ready to empty as he rubbed
faster and faster. It wasn't going to take long; Harry felt the need coiling at
the base of his belly and cock and he needed to come. He wanted to come.
He flung his head back and the water pounded roughly on his throat and the
unexpected pressure was all he needed.
"Ahh! Ahh!" Harry shrieked in bliss as the first drops erupted from the tip of
his cock and dribbled down his legs; legs that threatened to give way beneath
him. Harry kept squeezing and squeezing until there was nothing left to come
out. He was reeling with ecstasy and had to stop himself from sliding down to
the floor. The shower washed away the evidence, but nothing could get rid of
the pleased grin Harry was sure he was sporting. As he began to rinse his hair
and the rest of his body; he made a pact with himself. He definitely had to do
that more often.
***
After a very quick breakfast, Harry accompanied Ron and Hermione to Hogsmeade,
but got the impression that Hermione would rather he wasn't with them at all.
Harry couldn't really blame her; if he had a significant other he was sure he
would want to spend some time alone with them. Ron didn't seem to notice any
undercurrents of tension between Harry and Hermione. He remained blissfully
unaware that his future bride and his brother just did not get on.
Harry had never actively disliked Hermione; his life had been too hectic for
bearing grudges for no apparent reason, but yet he thought that Hermione didn't
like him. It wasn't anything he could put his finger on, but he knew that
Hermione thought she was very clever and had been disappointed when Harry did
better than her in some subjects. From conversations he'd overheard, Hermione
had been the top of her class in her Muggle primary school and it had come as a
bit of a shock that she wasn't top in everything at Hogwarts.
Harry had tried to withdraw tactfully from them a few times, but Ron was having
none of it and when he dragged Harry off to see the new brooms in the window of
Quality Quidditch Supplies, Hermione was left standing in the middle of the
High Street, looking so angry that Harry was surprised steam wasn't coming out
of her ears.
"Ron, go and invite Hermione to Madam Puddifoot's or something," said Harry.
"What? That's for couples, Harry," said Ron, glancing longingly at the new
Comet Five Thousand in the window.
"Yes and you and Hermione are a couple. You'd better do something to make it up
to her."
"Harry, what are you on about? Hermione, do you know what he's on about?" Ron
turned around and registered some surprise when he realised Hermione wasn't
with them. "Where'd she go?"
"She's probably got fed up that you weren't paying her enough attention."
"Hermione's not like that. What's wrong with wanting to spend some time with my
brother? It's not as if we're in the same House and see each other that often."
"Your fiancé might disagree," said Harry. "She wanted to be with you, Ron, not
hang about with me."
Harry glanced around and saw Severus going into Scrivenshaft's. "Look, I have
to see Professor Snape about my last essay. You go and find Hermione and make
up."
"Why don't you join us for lunch?"
"That's okay, Ron. I don't know how long I'll be. I'll probably head back to
the castle afterwards anyway; you spend the rest of the day with Hermione."
"Okay," said Ron and Harry knew he was disappointed. It was true; they didn't
see each other that often at school. After holidays where they spent nearly
every hour in each other's company, it was a bit of a wrench when school rolled
around again.
Harry waved back at Ron as he pushed open the door to Scrivenshaft's; then
ducked behind a display stand hoping Severus hadn't seen him. Ever since he'd
had that talk with Professor Flitwick, Harry had done nothing but wonder.
Was he in love with Severus? And if so, what was he going to do about it?
 
Part 17
What on Earth did Harry think he was doing? Severus had been a spy for years;
did Harry really think Severus wouldn't notice that he was being followed? The
question was why was Harry following him in the first place? Severus decided to
play with Harry for a while; he was intrigued to say the least. He strode down
the length of the High Street, occasionally stopping at a shop window to catch
Harry's reflection in the glass behind him, as Harry tried his best to remain
unseen by peering round corners or around other students. Severus pushed open
the door of the Hog's Head and was immediately assailed by the stench of stale
sweat and other odours he would prefer not to identify. There was sawdust on
the floor stained rust-coloured in various spots and all of the tables were
coated in layers of grime. Severus had only come in to see if Harry would
follow him even here.
A few moments later, Harry came in and stopped short when he saw Severus
standing by the entrance with his arms crossed over his chest and an eyebrow
raised in Harry's direction. Harry's eyes widened when he realised he'd been
caught. The other patrons didn't seem to be taking any notice of the pair of
them by the door, but appearances in this place could be very deceptive. The
Weasley twins' joke shop was doing a booming trade and their range had extended
to invisible Extendable Ears. Anyone could be listening to anything at any
time.
Severus took a firm hold of Harry's left arm and propelled him back out onto
the street. "Would you care to explain why you have been following me all day?"
"I haven't!" said Harry indignantly.
"Harry, you're a terrible liar. You always have been, you know you can't lie to
me."
Harry shrugged but didn't deny the fact that he had in fact been following him.
It dawned on Severus why Harry might have felt the need to follow him and he
felt his heart lurch. He had never intended to hurt the young man but that was
all he seemed to do lately. "Harry," he said softly. "I already told you.
There's nothing permanent between Charlie and me. I wasn't meeting your brother
today."
Harry's eyes widened in surprise this time. "I never thought that!"
"Then why are you following me?"
"I just wanted to."
"You wanted to follow me? Why?"
"I miss you," said Harry so quietly that Severus had to strain to hear him. "We
used to talk all the time."
"We do still talk, Harry."
"Not like we used to. Not like when you were training me."
"You've been trained now, Harry. You defeated the Dark Lord, you should be very
proud."
"I couldn't have done it without your help," said Harry. "Please, I need to
talk to you. Privately," said Harry glancing around at the other students.
If the truth was known, Severus quite missed their training sessions and their
talks afterward too. Sometimes they'd talked well into the night and Severus
knew Harry didn't share with his friends the things he had shared with Severus
over the years. Severus had been Harry's closest confidant and was he now just
going to turn him away because Harry no longer needed to be trained as a
weapon?
"Very well, Harry. Come to my rooms after dinner and we can talk then."
"Thank you, Severus," said Harry before he took off to find his friends.
***
Despite his past, Harry knew very little about sex or about seduction and when
he returned to Hogwarts, he made straight for the Restricted Section of the
library to find any books he could on the subject. Only there weren't any. Not
one book or magazine or pamphlet about sex at all. He finally got up the
courage to ask Madam Pince, blushing the whole time. She looked down her nose
at him as if he'd just asked where the books on becoming a Dark Lord were kept.
"This is a school, Mr. Potter. Not a brothel. I suggest you seek out
titillation elsewhere."
"I'm not – it's not about – I just needed some information."
"Hogwarts does not keep those sorts of books. Not get out of here before I
report your prurient interests to the Headmaster."
Harry sighed and left the library, he knew he wasn't going to get very far
there if they didn't carry any books on sexual education. All his class had
been given a short pamphlet during their third year from Madam Pomfrey, but
other than that they hadn't received any sexual education at Hogwarts. At home,
Arthur had given Harry and Ron 'the talk', but it was the basic facts. The
basic heterosexual facts. Tab A goes into slot B, that sort of thing. Nothing
about how you knew if you were in love with someone. Instead of going straight
back to Gryffindor Tower, Harry found himself heading off in the direction of
the infirmary.
Poppy wrapped him in a hug as soon as she saw him; Harry was just glad the
hospital beds were empty so at least none of the other students witnessed it.
It wasn't that he disliked hugs, quite the contrary, but he could do without
the teasing. He just wasn't in the mood for that today.
"And how's my favourite godson today?" asked Poppy as he ruffled his hair.
"Fine," said Harry. "I just wanted to talk to you about something."
"Oh? Sounds serious. You'd better sit down. Did you want any tea or coffee?"
"No, thanks. I've just had lunch in Hogsmeade."
Poppy pulled her chair close to Harry's and took his hands in hers. "Is
anything wrong, Harry? Is someone bullying you?"
"No, no, nothing like that. I ... I just wanted to ask you, how do you know if
you're in love with someone?"
"In love? Oh, Harry, who's the lucky girl?"
"Um ... it's not a girl," admitted Harry. "I really like him, I like spending
time with him and talking to him. I've ... I've been wondering what it would be
like to kiss him."
"Well, it sounds that you do at least have a crush on this boy, if you're
thinking about kissing him."
"It doesn't bother you that I like a bloke?"
"Of course not, dear. I am a bit surprised. After what happened to you, I
thought you'd steer clear of any male."
"This is different. He wouldn't hurt me like that," said Harry. "I feel safe
with him."
Harry stopped talking as he remembered his dreams; the sense of security. Had
he been dreaming of Severus and just hadn't known it? No one else had ever made
him feel as safe as Severus did, not even his family. "I think maybe I am in
love with him."
Poppy smiled. "There you are then. You knew what you were feeling already."
***
Harry felt too nervous to eat his dinner that evening. He mashed up his chicken
pie so that it resembled wallpaper paste and looked about as appetising. Every
so often he would glance up at the staff table to see if Severus was watching
him and if he was, Harry felt a blush creeping up his neck and had to quickly
look away again. How was he supposed to tell Severus this?
"Have you finished your Charms essay?" Lavender Brown asked Hermione on the
other side of the table. "I haven't finished mine yet."
"It's due tomorrow," said Hermione. "You should have done it already."
"Not everyone's like you and Harry," said Lavender. "We don't all want to be
teacher's pets."
"I'm not a teacher's pet! I just work hard!" Hermione glared in Harry's
direction. "Unlike some people I could mention!"
"Hey!" said Seamus. "Harry does work hard!"
"Leave it," begged Harry. He knew Hermione was spoiling for a fight with him;
she'd wanted to get back at him all day for ruining her date with Ron.
"He doesn't need to work hard!" spat Hermione. "Do you really think the
examiners are going to fail the person who defeated the Dark Lord? He could
write anything on his paper and he'd still pass!"
All the rest of the Gryffindors had stopped eating and talking, too intrigued
by the argument between Harry and Hermione for anything else to hold their
attention.
"Why don't you grow up?" said Neville calmly.
Hermione opened and closed her mouth, but for a change nothing was coming out
of it. Harry pushed his uneaten dinner away and said goodbye to his friends. He
could feel Hermione's eyes boring into his back as he left the Great Hall and
wondered why Hermione seemed to dislike him so much. It just couldn't be that
he was better than her at some subjects, could it? If it was, Neville was
right, it was childish and petty of her.
Harry had to wait outside Severus' quarters for about ten minutes before the
Potions professor came into view, but at least the other Slytherins were still
at dinner and Harry didn't have to face them. He knew they'd probably want to
know what he was doing down here so late.
Severus spoke to the portrait guarding his rooms and waved Harry into the
living room. A fire had been lit in the grate; candles and lanterns were alight
and the coffee table had been laid with a coffee set along with plates of
biscuits and fruit. Harry wasn't feeling remotely hungry at all. He hovered by
the mantelpiece until Severus had invited him to sit down on the sofa; Severus
took the armchair nearest the fire.
"What was all that about at dinner?" asked Severus.
"Hermione thinks I'm a teacher's pet because I get good marks. She thinks I
don't do any work and I get marked well because I defeated Voldemort."
"Does she indeed? And how would that help you, Harry?"
"What do you mean?"
"You're here to get an education. Would it really be fair on you, or on any
student to be marked higher because of something not related to learning? I
can't speak for the other teachers, but I know you consistently gain good marks
in my class because you do the work. You have earned those marks, Harry. Don't
let some silly girl tell you otherwise."
"Thanks, I think I just needed to hear that. I know I do the work, but maybe
other people are thinking the same thing she is."
"Let them think what they like, it's what you know that's important. Is that
what you wanted to talk to me about?"
Harry shook his head and he could feel the heat creeping into his face again.
He wished he didn't blush so easily. Now that he was here, he knew he couldn't
do this. He couldn't even get the words out his throat was so tight with
tension. "Um – I think I'll just go," said Harry standing up.
"You just got here," said Severus as he followed Harry to the door. "Harry,
what is it? What's wrong?"
Severus was standing close behind his back, Harry could feel the man's breath
on the back of his neck and he shivered, but not from cold. Harry knew he would
be lost if he turned around and saw those eyes.
"I'm fine, I just have to go," said Harry reaching out for the doorknob.
Severus' hand snaked around him and circled Harry's wrist. That fleeting touch
almost undid him. "Severus," Harry moaned. "I can't ... I can't ..."
"Can't what, Harry?" Severus asked softly; he still hadn't let go of Harry's
wrist.
Harry took a deep breath and closed his eyes. "I can't stop thinking about you.
I dream about you. Doing things to me."
"Doing things?" Severus' voice sounded hoarse. "What sort of things?"
"Wonderful things," sighed Harry, his eyes still closed. His cock was getting
hard just thinking about it. "I want it to be you, Severus. I want you to teach
me."
"Teach you what, Harry?"
"About love. Being in love. Making love."
Severus removed his hand from Harry's wrist so fast it was as if he'd been
given an electric shock.
"Harry, you don't know what you're saying. We talked about this before. There
are no conditions. You don't have to offer yourself to me."
Harry turned around. "I do, Severus. This isn't like before. I'm not doing this
because I think I have to. This is different."
"How is it different?"
"For one, I'm not a frightened child any more. And two, I want it."
Harry glanced down where his erection was straining against the fabric of his
trousers. "It's you who makes my soul sing, Severus."
 
Part 18
Severus tried to speak, but couldn't. Of course this was different. Harry was
no longer a scared eleven-year-old child who had clambered into his lap because
he thought that was what he had to do. Severus' eyes flicked briefly to Harry's
groin and the erection tenting his trousers. Harry wasn't lying, he did want
this, or at least he thought he did.
"It's just hormones," said Severus hoarsely.
"It's not. It's more than that," said Harry. "If it was just hormones I'd be
off wanking in the shower or in bed."
"You masturbate?" Severus asked in surprise. "I thought ... you know because of
what happened..."
"Of course I masturbate, I'm seventeen. It's my body and what they did to me is
not going to make me scared for the rest of my life. I won't give them that
power." Harry's eyes almost glowed with indignation.
"That's a very mature attitude to take, Harry," said Severus softly.
"Yeah, well, I had to grow up fast, didn't I?"
That was too true. First the abuse at the Dursleys' and the orphanage and then
the wizarding world had expected him to commit murder at the ripe old age of
sixteen. Another abused orphan had turned out very differently to Harry.
Despite what had happened to Harry, not once had he turned to the Dark, not
even for revenge on those who had hurt him. It was Severus who had been tainted
by vengeance and Harry had even felt guilty when he'd destroyed the Dark Lord.
There was nothing Dark about Harry; despite what had happened, nothing could
destroy the core of innocence he had and Severus was drawn to that innocence
like a moth to the moonlight.
"And what if I said I didn't want to?" asked Severus.
"Then we'll just pretend this conversation never happened. I'm not going to
force you into anything you don't want, Severus. I'll just go."
Harry turned to face the door again, but Severus gripped his hips and turned
him back round. He could drown in those emerald eyes and he wouldn't care if no
one ever saved him. "Harry, we can't. It's against the rules. I'm your teacher.
You're my student."
"I won't be your student forever," Harry said, reaching up to caress his cheek.
Severus didn't stop him; he didn't want to stop him.
"No. That's true."
Harry's tongue darted out to lick his lips and Severus just stared and stared
at it. It would be so easy, so very easy to reach down and kiss those lips.
When had this happened? When had he started thinking of kissing Harry? Of
touching Harry? Of having Harry sprawled on his bed and never wanting to let
him go? It felt as if his skin was too tight for his body; it was an itch that
he knew he couldn't scratch – not if he wanted to keep his job and Harry wanted
to stay in school.
"We can't, Harry. Not yet."
"Not yet?"
Severus felt his chest ache at the hopeful tone of Harry's voice. "Does that
mean you'd wait for me?"
"Harry, surely there are some boys your own age you can do things with? Why
me?"
"I don't love them," said Harry simply. "I told you, I can't be with someone if
it isn't love."
"You can't be in love with me." The saviour of the wizarding world could not be
in love with someone almost twice his age and with more baggage than the
luggage carriage of the Hogwarts Express. "The Boy Who Lived doesn't fall in
love with a Death Eater."
"A former Death Eater," said Harry.
"Your friends wouldn't approve. Neither would your family."
"It's not up to them who I want to spend my life with," said Harry firmly. "I'm
of age, I know my own mind."
Spend his life with? Severus gazed into Harry's eyes. "So you don't want this
as some sort of experiment or as a one-time thing?"
"I'm not Charlie!" said Harry bitterly and Severus belatedly realised why Harry
had been so upset at seeing them together. No wonder Harry had been so hurt if
he had been in love with Severus. "You're not in love with me, are you,
Severus?"
"I don't know, Harry. I don't think I've ever been in love. I like you and what
you're offering is very tempting, but not yet. Not until you leave school."
"Has anyone ever told you your morals can be a pain in the arse?"
"Not until just now, no," Severus smiled and cupped Harry's face in his hands.
"I think it's time you went back to your dorm. Before we both start something
we can't finish."
"You know I'll be thinking about you when I wank, don't you?" Harry grinned
impishly. Severus stifled a groan.
"Yes, I rather gathered that. Now go, please." Before I give in.
"You will wait for me?"
"I thought I'd already answered that."
"Not in so many words," said Harry.
"You need me to spell it out for you?"
"Yes, I do."
"Very well. If, after you've left school, you still think you have feelings for
me, we can explore them. Together."
Harry reached up on tiptoes and kissed Severus on the cheek. "I don't think, I
know."
***
Nearly all the seventh years stayed behind during the Christmas holidays to
catch up on their revision, but Molly had insisted that Ron, Harry and Ginny
come home for at least Christmas Day and Boxing Day. It was the first time
Harry wasn't looking forward to going home. Charlie would be there too and it
would be the first time he'd seen him since he'd caught his brother in Severus'
rooms. Harry's chest still hurt whenever he thought of that. It wasn't
Charlie's fault, or even Severus', because neither of them had known how Harry
felt.
Hell, even Harry hadn't quite known how he felt then, but he was having no
doubts now. He was in love with Severus Snape and he spent nearly every waking
hour thinking about him, wanking to fantasies about him and every sleeping hour
seemed to be filled with erotic dreams about the man too. Harry despaired that
he'd ever be able to make it through his exams when all he could think about
was the Potions master's hands, the Potions master's voice and what he was
hiding under his robes.
Harry snapped the lid of his trunk shut and willed away his most recent
erection by thinking of the time he accidentally caught Hagrid and Madam Sprout
behind the Herbology greenhouses. That did the trick and he made his way down
to the Entrance Hall. Ron and Ginny were already waiting for him, as was
Hermione Granger. Harry stopped short in surprise, noting the ring sparkling on
Hermione's left hand. He hadn't seen her wear it before.
"Ron's finally decided to tell Mum and Dad," said Ginny, rolling her eyes when
Hermione wasn't looking.
Hermione said a stiff 'hello' to Harry before they all gathered around the
Portkey with their luggage. Harry closed his eyes as soon as he felt the first
jerk behind his navel; the only form of magical transport he liked was flying
on a broomstick. Everything else made him feel so sick. He landed face first on
the lawn in front of The Burrow and just as he was about to push himself to his
feet; he thudded back to the ground as someone landed on top of him.
"Sorry," said Hermione, but Harry got the impression she wasn't sorry at all.
It was going to be a long few days.
***
"More turkey, Hermione dear?" asked Molly as she held up the platter.
"Oh, no thank you, Mrs. Weasley. I'm full up. That was a lovely meal."
"You're one of the family now, dear, you can call me Molly."
Hermione smiled and cuddled close to Ron who was sitting next to her. It was
making Harry feel sick, or maybe it was the third helping of Christmas dinner
that had done that. After a very brief shouting match between Molly and Ron –
Why didn't you tell us sooner? – Hermione had been warmly welcomed into the
Weasley family. Harry felt uncomfortable with her there; he knew he was
probably being silly, but it was as if his place was being usurped and he
didn't like it.
She was charming and polite and had great conversations with Arthur about all
things Muggle and Harry felt even more pushed out. Arthur used to ask him about
those sorts of things and he felt increasingly left out. Maybe he was just
being paranoid but sometimes as Hermione charmed the other Weasleys she would
glance his way and give Harry a smirk that no one else seemed to see.
"Harry, can I have a word?" asked Charlie, nodding towards the parlour. Harry
nodded; he'd known this conversation was long overdue but he didn't want to
have an argument. He followed Charlie into the front parlour; it was hardly
ever used; most things happened in the Weasley kitchen and Harry couldn't
remember the last time he'd been in here. There was a large red-brick fireplace
and two brown leather sofas, but neither of them made any move to sit down on
them. Harry folded his arms across his chest.
"Harry, I'd like to apologise. I didn't know how you felt about Severus or I
would never have approached him."
"How do you know how I feel about him?"
"He told me."
"He told you? You two have some long cosy chats, do you?"
"Harry, no. It's not like that. He wrote to me. I haven't seen him since that
night, I swear. I never meant to hurt you. You've got to believe me."
"I do, Charlie. It was just such a shock. Seeing both of you like that. I never
even knew he was gay. Or you for that matter."
"Yeah, well Mum made me promise not to tell you. She thought it might upset you
after what happened."
"Severus told me the same thing; he said he didn't want me to be uncomfortable
around him. Well, I'm a big boy now, Charlie. I can take it." Harry grinned and
wrapped his arms around his brother in a hug. "Still friends?"
"Always, Harry. Always."
 
Part 19
 
Harry bent over the toilet bowl and threw up what felt like everything he'd
ever eaten in his life. He shouldn't have had that second helping of Christmas
pudding, but Molly had gone to so much trouble with the Christmas meal that he
felt it would have been churlish to refuse. Molly's cooking had always been
excellent; it was just that Harry had eaten too much of it.
He retched again but nothing was coming back up except sour spittle. Harry
flushed the toilet then went to the sink to rinse out his mouth and brush his
teeth. He felt awful and just wanted to go to bed, but everyone was expecting
him back to play charades in the kitchen.
His face was as pale as one of the Hogwarts' ghosts when he caught sight of
himself in the mirror. He splashed water on his cheeks to get rid of the stale
sweat and patted his skin dry with a towel. Fred and George were on the landing
when he came out of the bathroom. "You all right, mate?" asked Fred.
"Yeah, I think I ate too much. I just feel like a lie down, though."
"You do still look a bit pale," agreed George. "You go on to bed. I'm sure we
can keep the masses entertained."
Fred winked and Harry wondered what tricks the twins might have decided to play
but on the other hand thought he would probably rather not know too much about
it.
"Right. Goodnight," said Harry and headed off to his bedroom. His head was
swimming and his guts ached. Harry conjured a bucket and set it by the side of
his bed just in case he needed to throw up again. He was sweating again; he
tugged off his tie and opened the first two buttons of his shirt but passed out
before he got any further in his undressing.
***
"Harry! Harry! Wake up!"
Harry struggled to full consciousness; his head was pounding and his mouth felt
as if he'd slept with it full of sand all night. "Ron, stop shouting, would
you?"
"I'm not shouting, you're just hung over."
"I'm not hung over, I was sick," said Harry.
"Not sick enough to stop wanking, eh?" grinned Ron.
He glanced down at his wrinkled clothes and grimaced. His flies were undone and
there was a small semen stain on the thighs of his trousers. Harry didn't
remember masturbating; he didn't even remember undoing his trousers. Harry
hurriedly zipped himself back up. "How could I be hung over? I didn't drink
anything except grape juice."
"You didn't drink any of the twins' spiked punch last night?"
"There was punch?" Harry didn't remember that, but then there were a lot of
things he couldn't seem to remember about yesterday.
"Yeah, after the charades. Oh, that's right, you went to bed early, didn't you?
So you really were sick? How are you feeling now?"
"Like I've just been hit with ten bludgers in a row." Harry rubbed his aching
stomach but thankfully the nausea didn't seem to be back. "I'll just go and
have a shower."
"Oh, Hermione's in the bathroom now. You'll have to wait."
So what was new? Hermione Granger seemed determined to ruin even the simplest
parts of his life.
***
Harry spent the rest of the Christmas holidays back at school catching up on
his homework and revision and trying to avoid Hermione whenever possible. He
took to studying in his dorm rather than the common room if she was there and
he avoided the library during the day just in case he ran into her. At night he
sneaked out in his Invisibility Cloak.
A cold January soon gave way to a slightly warmer February but there was still
snow on the ground and ice on the dorm room windows in the mornings. On the
second of February a notice appeared all over the school announcing that there
was to be a Valentine's Day Ball in the Great Hall. Everyone else was
chattering away, seemingly looking forward to it, but Harry still didn't know
how to dance very well and the only person he would have wanted to ask as his
date, he knew he couldn't have.
He spent more and more time studying, feeling the need to prove himself, to
show that he did actually do the work and he wasn't just getting good marks
because of his name or his defeat of Voldemort. Harry just couldn't understand
what Hermione disliked about him and of course he couldn't talk to his brother,
who still seemed totally oblivious to the tension between the two of them.
Harry completely begged off the Hogsmeade weekend on the first Saturday in
February and spent most of the day moping about in his room and getting his
homework finished. Ron had been upset that Harry hadn't wanted to go with them,
but Harry knew a whole day in Hermione's smug company would have driven him
mad. What was her problem anyway?
An hour after lunch he finished studying and decided to go flying. It was a
beautiful clear day; the sky was so blue it looked painted and the sun made the
snow sparkle like diamonds. Harry grabbed his broomstick and headed off to the
Quidditch pitch. No other students were there, but Madam Hooch was flying
around and hitting Bludgers that were charmed to fly towards her. When she saw
Harry, she sent the Bludgers back down to the ground and zoomed down to meet
him.
"Potter. Thought you would have been in Hogsmeade today," she said, eyeing his
broom.
"I didn't feel like it."
"Do you fancy a game of one on one?"
"Sure," said Harry as he mounted his broomstick. They played for an hour or
more; both of them trying to get as many Quaffles through the other goalposts
as possible. Harry had missed this. The roar of the wind as he sped through the
air, the feeling of freedom that he'd never experienced on the ground. He was
grinning like a fool the whole time they played, Madam Hooch was an excellent
opponent, but she never gave Harry any leeway just because he was student. If
he wanted a victory he was going to have to earn it.
The light was fading; it was getting colder and his hands were starting to
cramp with the cold but Harry didn't feel like finishing up just yet, he was
having too much fun. He put his last Quaffle through the hoop and as he did a
victorious loop, he saw Ron from his upside down perch on his broom. Hermione
wasn't with him; that in itself was unusual. The two of them had seemed joined
at the hip, (or should that be lips?) from the amount of times Harry had come
across them lately snogging in a corner somewhere.
"Go on, Harry. I'll tidy up the equipment," said Madam Hooch so Harry flew down
to greet Ron.
Harry dismounted and smiled as Ron came towards him; it was too sudden, too
unexpected, Harry didn't have time to react as Ron's fist came flying towards
his face and there was a terrible crunch as his hand connected with Harry's
nose. Harry howled in pain, his broomstick dropped from his fingers and blood
dripped down his nose.
"Ron?"
"You bastard! You fucking bastard!" screeched Ron as he raised his hand again
and the world went black.
***
Harry knew he was in the infirmary long before he opened his eyes, he
recognised the smell of disinfectant and stale vomit overlaid with wax polish.
His head felt as if a giant had been using it for an anvil and had been none
too gentle with the hammer. Harry groaned and pushed himself upright. It was
dark outside; all the lanterns around the infirmary were alight. He reached a
hand to his head and felt it come away sticky with blood. What the hell had
happened? Why had Ron hit him like that? There was a bandage wrapped around his
forehead and a tender lump on the back of his head. A drip in his left hand led
to a clear bag on a stand beside his bed and he wondered what was in it.
Harry poured himself a glass of water from the jug sitting on the bedside
cabinet. God, he felt worse than he had after over-indulging at Christmas but
at least his memory seemed to be intact. His mouth was dry, his lips were
cracked and he wondered how long he'd been unconscious.
"Harry, you're awake."
The voice from the foot of the bed was so unexpected that Harry almost dropped
his glass. "Severus, what are you doing here?" Severus was in his black clothes
had merged so well with the shadows in the infirmary.
"I needed to make sure you were all right. When your brother hit you, you fell
and hit your head. You've been unconscious for five days."
"Five days?" Harry choked out. He thought he'd been out for a couple of hours,
not days.
"Let me go and get Poppy."
Harry stared at his retreating back, feeling strangely out of things. It was if
he was floating and he wondered if Poppy had been dosing him with pain potions
while he'd been unconscious. From the pain in his head, he reckoned they were
wearing off.
He could hear some people arguing with Poppy and Severus at the door. "I've
already told you, my patient is not well enough to see anyone."
"We are not anyone, madam, we are Aurors and this is a very serious matter. He
has to be interviewed."
"And the matron has already told you that he will not be fit enough for an
interview for a while yet."
"Well, when then?"
"Try again tomorrow morning," said Poppy.
"You've told us that for the past five days!" protested one of the Aurors.
"Well you couldn’t very well interview him while he was unconscious, could
you?" Poppy snapped back.
"He's not unconscious now," said one of the Aurors, peering into the room and
staring straight at Harry.
"Gentlemen, it is the middle of the night. Harry isn't going anywhere; you can
talk to him tomorrow."
"No, we will talk to him now," said the Auror pushing past Severus and Poppy.
"You have no right!"
Another Auror shoved a parchment into Poppy's shaking hands. "You'll find that
we have every right." Poppy clasped her hand over her mouth and her face paled
to match her apron.
Severus made his way back to Harry's bed and squeezed his hand. "It'll be all
right, Harry. We know these charges are false."
Charges? Oh God, what charges? Harry took a gulp of water and almost choked on
it. What was he supposed to have done? He stared at the scarlet-robed Auror and
felt his heart beating too fast for his body.
"Professor Snape, please stand aside and let us do our job."
"Your job? To arrest innocent people?"
Arrest? This was a nightmare, it had to be.
The Auror pretended not to hear Severus. "Harry Potter-Weasley you are hereby
arrested and will be taken into custody pending a bail hearing on Monday
morning."
"I don't understand," said Harry. "I haven't done anything wrong!"
"Harry Potter-Weasley you are charged on the suspicion of raping a fellow
student."
"WHAT?" Harry yelped. He'd never – never – do such a thing.
"Gather your things," said the Auror.
"He can't leave! He's under medical care!" said Poppy as she reached his bed
too.
"A Ministry Healer will tend him if he needs it. Please stand aside, both of
you, and let us do our jobs."
"I've never raped anyone!" said Harry.
"Who was the complainant?" asked Severus.
"I'm sorry but we are not at liberty to divulge that information."
"So it's okay for me to be arrested but not for me to know who the hell is
accusing me of something so vile?" Harry could feel the beginnings of a panic
attack coming on. He would never do such a thing, how could someone accuse him
of that? "Who said I raped them? Who?"
One of the younger Aurors looked nervously at Harry and said quietly. "Hermione
Granger."
 
Part 20
The holding cell seemed more like a bedroom than a prison, despite the barred
window high on the wall. A metal-framed bedstead was pushed against the far
wall. A blanket and pillow were sitting folded in a pile at the foot of it and
behind a small screen was a toilet and washbasin.
Harry's clothes had been removed and he'd been issued with a shapeless grey
robe and a pair of slippers. His shoes, along with his laces and belt had also
been confiscated. A Ministry Healer had been in to examine him and proclaimed
him fit enough to be interviewed. Harry barely remembered what the Aurors had
asked him; all he knew was that he had never raped Hermione but had no way of
proving it. It was her word against his apparently. When Harry had asked why
they didn't just use Veriteraserum to get to the truth of the matter, the
Aurors had looked at each other but never answered him.
Harry was the one under arrest; he knew he wasn't going to get answers to any
of his questions. He was the one they wanted answers from. The bail hearing had
already happened after his second round of interviews. They had set his bail at
ten thousand galleons. It sounded like a lot of money; Harry didn't even know
if he had that much in his vault at Gringotts, but that wouldn't have mattered.
According to Wizarding Law, the accused could not post their own bail; it had
to come from someone else. Harry knew his family didn't have that sort of spare
cash lying around and so he knew it was very likely that he might be
transferred to Azkaban to await his trial, for which no date had been set.
Harry shuddered as he remembered how awful the Dementors had made him feel. It
wouldn't matter to them that he was innocent; Dementors didn't make judgements.
They just sucked the happiness out of any human soul they could. Harry went
behind the screen to use the loo and wash up. He felt filthy, violated after
all the Aurors had done to him earlier that night. As he closed his eyes, his
eyelids blazed with white light and he quickly opened them again.
The interrogation room had been white. White walls, white floor, white door but
no windows anywhere. He'd been made to strip naked and then they performed a
body cavity search and Harry had been on the verge of panic the whole time.
They hadn't been gentle, in fact they seemed to delight in hearing Harry's
surprised gasps of pain and inhalations of breath when a particularly vicious
Auror twisted his fingers roughly inside Harry's rectum.
"That hurt, did it? Maybe now you'll think of how much you hurt that girl!"
"I didn't do it!" Harry had screamed again and again, but it was futile. They
didn't believe him, or they didn't want to believe him. Of course his past had
been brought up, what had happened to him at the orphanage and at school and
now the Aurors seemed to be wondering if it was Harry who had raped the girls
at Hogwarts rather than the other way around and maybe the boys too. It just
got worse and worse and Harry could see no way out of it.
"I don't even like girls that way!" Harry had protested time and time again,
but the Aurors seemed to think that it made him even more likely to commit
rape.
He opened his eyes and stared at the basin. There was no mirror above it; Harry
guessed there wasn't one because it might have been too easy for a prisoner to
break it and use the shards to damage themselves. But what about the basin? If
he filled that with water, he could stick his head under it and drown, couldn't
he? Then Harry realised there wasn't a plug, but there was toilet paper. If he
wadded some of that up and stuck it in the plug hole, he could fill the sink
up. God, what was he thinking? He wasn't really thinking of doing that, was he?
Harry backed away, horrified at himself. He sat down on the bedstead and hung
his head in his hands, feeling the misery trying to choke him. Is this how
Sirius had felt all those years locked up for something he didn't do? The
despair that he wasn't able to prove he was innocent. Harry lay down and curled
up with his knees tight against his chest. He didn't cry, he was too numb to
cry, but he fell into a fitful sleep.
He was woken from his slumber by a loud rapping on the locked door. Harry sat
up and rubbed his bleary eyes, feeling more exhausted than if he'd never had
any sleep at all. "Hello?" he asked.
A small slit in the door was pulled down and he saw the face of one of the
guards from last night. "You've got a visitor." There was some clinking of keys
and then the door was pushed open and Severus stepped inside.
"Severus!" Harry ran to him and wrapped his arms around him in a fierce hug. "I
didn't do it; I swear I didn't do it!"
Severus rubbed his hands up and down on Harry's back. "Ssh, Harry. I know. I've
come to take you to back to Hogwarts; your bail has been paid."
"What? But Mum and Dad can't afford that! They didn't mortgage the house, did
they?"
"They tried to, but Gringotts refused to lend on it. The goblins didn't think
The Burrow was enough security against such an amount."
"But who?"
"I did," said Severus softly. "Both my parents are dead, Harry. They didn't
have much to leave except a Muggle house. I sold it which paid your bail and
there is some left over which can also be used to get you a good lawyer. You're
going to need one."
"Severus, you didn't have to do that for me, but thank you. Thank you."
Severus leaned down and kissed his forehead. "You're welcome, Harry. But you're
wrong. I did have to do it."
***
Harry was the only student in the headmaster's office for the meeting. Minerva
McGonagall was there, as was Severus, the headmaster himself, Poppy Pomfrey
along with Arthur and Molly Weasley. Albus was sitting behind his desk,
everyone else was standing but Severus thought Harry needed a sit down. He was
swaying slightly as though he might faint at any moment. Severus reached out
his hand and pressed it on the small of Harry's back to support him Harry
glanced around and gave him a wan smile.
"I don't see why I have to leave school," said Harry.
"These are very serious allegations, Harry. It would be better for all
concerned and for Miss Granger's peace of mind if you were no longer to remain
at Hogwarts."
"But I haven't done anything! She's lying, I never raped her!" protested Harry.
"I agree, Albus," said Arthur. "Harry has not been convicted of anything and I
for one do not believe a word of it. I don't know why the girl is lying about
it, but Harry is not a rapist!"
Severus was glad the Weasleys seemed to be sticking up for Harry, even if the
bint was engaged to Ron. Molly came to stand near Harry and squeezed his
shoulder. "We know you didn't do it, Harry dear," she said simply. "Why can't
we use Veritaserum?"
Poppy cleared her throat. "We can't use Veriteraserum on Miss Granger at the
moment. She's pregnant."
And there it was; Severus felt Harry's body start to topple but he was prepared
for it and managed to keep hold of him so that he didn't land on the floor.
Severus set Harry down on the sofa and felt his head; Harry was a little warm,
but Severus didn't think he was running a fever.
"And I suppose she's claiming the baby is Harry's?" demanded Severus.
"Well, yes," said Poppy.
"So why don't we do a paternity charm or something?" asked Arthur. Harry opened
his eyes and stared into Severus' face. He sat up and stared around the room;
he was breathing rather heavily.
"Well, we could, but not until at least the three month mark has passed. There
is too high a chance of miscarriage if we do it this soon."
"How far along is she?" asked Molly.
"According to my scans, the baby was conceived around Christmas."
Harry jolted upright. "We were both at The Burrow then," said Harry. "But I was
ill at Christmas, I never raped her."
"Albus, you don't honestly believe Harry would rape someone and in his own
house?" Arthur paced up and down the length of the study, his hands running
through his thinning hair. Minerva hadn't said anything yet.
She stared at Harry. "When you say you were ill, Potter, can you be more
specific?"
"I was throwing up, I had a headache and I went to bed early. I don't remember
much else."
"So you may have done something and not remembered it?"
"I didn't rape anyone!"
"No, but it may have been the other way around. Severus, are you aware of any
Muggle pharmaceuticals?"
Severus nodded his head; but it seemed so far-fetched to be true. He had heard
of it, but he hadn't thought he would encounter it in the magical world, but
then Hermione Granger had been brought up as a Muggle and her parents were
Muggle dentists. Could she somehow got hold of something and drugged Harry with
it?
"She drugged me? She raped me?" Harry's face had turned even paler and before
Severus could conjure a bowl, Harry had turned and was retching violently over
the side of the sofa. Poppy tried to rush to his aid, but Molly got there first
and wiped his face with a damp face cloth she'd conjured from thin air.
"Well, there does certainly seem to be some confusion," said Dumbledore. "I
still think it's best if you stay away from the school until we can do the
paternity charm."
Harry looked livid. "So I'm the one who has to run and hide when she was the
one who did this to me? If I'm not at school, it'll make me look guilty!"
"I see no reason why Harry has to leave Hogwarts, Headmaster," said Minerva.
"But I don't think the Gryffindor dorms would be the best place for him at the
moment."
"Severus, there is still room in your quarters for Harry, is there not?" sighed
Dumbledore. "The castle hasn't changed them back?"
"No, Headmaster. There is still room for Harry if he wishes to stay."
"Very well, Harry may stay at school for the time being, but he will be tutored
privately. It is too risky for him to be in class at the moment. Severus, I am
placing him under your protection."
"Severus, thank you, thank you," said Molly as she reached up and kissed him on
the cheek. "Harry dear, it will all work out. You'll see."
 
Part 21
 
Severus rubbed his head as he waited for the Advanced Potions class to arrive.
The headache he'd been suffering on and off all morning was getting worse. He'd
spent most of the night wide awake comforting Harry who had been having so many
nightmares that even the Dreamless Sleep had stopped being effective. Severus
could brew a stronger dose, but the stronger the potion the more chance Harry
had of becoming addicted to it. Severus thought Harry had enough problems to be
going on with at the moment without adding a potion dependency into the mix.
The students arrived in dribs and drabs, chatting with their friends, but
Severus was pleased to note that no one was talking to Hermione Granger. Ron
Weasley didn't take this class and Severus wondered if the two of them were
even still talking at all. Severus had seen how close the brothers had been
over the years and he never thought a girl would come between them. The
students sat down on their stools, setting out their books and equipment.
Severus stood up to his full height and surveyed them. Hermione Granger sat
down next to Seamus Finnegan, but Seamus gathered up his books and moved to
another table, giving her dirty looks. Severus had the impression that Seamus
was also of the opinion that Harry hadn't done what he'd been accused of.
"Miss Granger, you are excused from this class." At his words, the whole class
grew silent.
The girl opened and closed her mouth like a goldfish. She stood up and glared
at Severus, as if that would make any difference to him. Severus had been
glaring at students long before Granger even knew she was a witch. "So you're
taking his side? He raped me!" she ranted to the whole room. How different from
Harry, who had been so ashamed that he was afraid of people finding out that
he'd been raped.
"It has nothing to do with sides. You can no longer take practical Potions.
Many of the ingredients here are dangerous to pregnant women."
The rest of the class all turned around and goggled at Hermione. "You're
pregnant?" asked Seamus. "After the classes we all had about safe sex?"
"We didn't have classes on how to avoid being raped!" she retorted. "I didn't
know it was going to happen! Harry raped me and he's getting away with it
because he defeated Voldemort!"
"That is enough, Miss Granger. Mr. Potter-Weasley has not been convicted of any
offence. Ten points from Gryffindor. Leave this room immediately before I make
it twenty."
"You bastard! You bastard!" she screamed, tears falling down her cheeks, but
she wasn't upset. Oh, no, these were tears of rage that she wasn't getting her
own way. "You believe him and not me?"
"Fifty points," said Severus. Hermione dumped her books back in her schoolbag
and stormed out. She slammed the door so hard that some jars flew off the
shelves and shattered on the floor. The rest of the class stared warily at
their teacher. "Well, what are you waiting for?" he snapped. "The instructions
are on the board. Do you need me to draw a map so you can finally find the
storeroom after seven years?"
There was a scuffling of feet as they all rushed to be first to get their
ingredients and start preparing their potion. Severus sat down at his desk and
wished the class was over already.
***
"Very good, Harry, very good," said Professor Flitwick as Harry managed to
charm the tea set to prepare tea for two; the teapot pouring out the tea, the
tongs adding sugar lumps to each cup and the jug pouring the milk. "Of course,
no one knows what types of charms will be asked for in the exams, but as long
as you've kept up with the curriculum, nothing should surprise you. I think
you'll do very well, Harry."
"Thank you, sir," said Harry, as he handed one of the teacups to Professor
Flitwick. No point in having it going to waste. "To be honest, the exams are
the last thing on my mind at the moment."
"Of course," said Flitwick. "For what it's worth, Harry. I don't think you did
it, I'm very surprised the Aurors were even called in the first place."
"I don't remember what happened," said Harry. "Professor McGonagall and
Professor Snape think I might have been drugged, I was so ill that night. Is
there a way to get that memory back? You know memory charms, don't you?"
"If it had been a memory charm I could attempt to reverse it, but if you were
drugged with potions or any other type of medication then I wouldn't be much
help I'm afraid. I think you need to talk to Professor Snape; Legilimency might
be your best bet. If you were drugged your memory will still be there in your
subconscious, you just have to access it."
"Can Legilimency be used on Hermione too? To see why she's lying about this?"
"It wouldn't be considered proper since she is pregnant, but you might be able
to get permission from the Ministry to allow it in this instance. I'm surprised
the Aurors didn't suggest that in the first place; it would have prevented all
this false accusation and you needn't have been arrested at all."
"They seemed to think I was guilty from the start," said Harry. "I don't think
they really cared whether or not I was innocent."
"Hmm," said Flitwick, sipping his tea and staring over the rim of his cup just
as Severus entered their quarters.
"Still here, Filius?" asked Severus, giving Harry a warm smile. "Anyone would
think you're starting to like the dungeons."
"Well, the company is rather good," said Flitwick. He set down his teacup and
glanced at his watch. "Gracious, is that the time? It's almost dinner. I
suppose you'll both be dining here as usual?"
"Yeah," said Harry, feeling that he had condemned Severus to being as much of a
prisoner as Harry felt, for Severus refused to make Harry eat his meals by
himself.
"Well, I'll see you for our next tutoring session, Harry. Good evening,
Severus."
"Good evening," said Severus as he showed Flitwick to the door. Harry banished
the tea things and sat back down on the sofa. Severus sat down beside him. "How
are you feeling, Harry?"
"Okay."
Severus arched an eyebrow at him. Sometimes they didn't even need to say
anything to communicate.
"No, all right, I'm not. I can't stop thinking about it. I just can't believe
she would be so vindictive to accuse me. She never seemed to like me, I don't
know why. Professor Flitwick said you might be able to use Legilimency to help
me remember what happened when I was ill. He said the memory's still in there
somewhere. Why didn't you suggest that?"
Severus was silent for a few heartbeats. "To be honest, I wasn't sure you'd be
up to knowing what happened. What if you found out she really did rape you, how
would you cope? You've not been handling things for the last few days, have
you?"
"I know," said Harry, remembering how every night he woke from nightmares that
he couldn't remember and spent most of the time he wasn't being tutored curled
up on the sofa crying as if his heart had broken. He wasn't sure how much more
he could take, but he knew that he had to find out what really happened. He
needed to know, then maybe he could start to get over it once and for all. "I
need to know what happened, Severus. Please." Harry reached out and grabbed
hold of Severus' hands. "I need to know."
"Very well, Harry. But after dinner. You need to eat."
"I'm not really hungry."
"I know you don't feel like it, but you have to eat something. I'll order
something light, soup?"
"Yes, okay. I'll try," said Harry, although he hadn't been able to keep much
down over the last few days. It reminded him of morning sickness and that in
turn reminded him that Hermione was pregnant and claiming to be having his
child.
Severus summoned one of the elves and ordered two bowls of chicken soup as well
as bread rolls. A few moments later their dinner appeared on the coffee table
and Harry made himself eat as much as he could of it, which was less than half
the soup and a few bites of warm roll. The food at Hogwarts had always been
good and Harry knew if he'd been feeling any better he would have appreciated
it more.
"I threw her out," said Severus once he'd finished his soup.
"What? Out of the class? Is that allowed?"
Severus snorted. "It's my class and I refused to have her in it any longer. I
told her the ingredients were too dangerous because she was pregnant."
"Is that true?" asked Harry.
"It is, but I would have refused to teach her any more anyway."
"Why?"
"Because she hurt you."
***
Severus banished the dirty dishes to the kitchens once it became clear that
Harry wasn't going to be eating anything more. He'd struggled through his soup
and almost choked on his bread. Harry looked awful, due to the nightmares he
wasn't getting much sleep and there were dark purple shadows under his eyes.
His face had lost its normal rosy complexion and he was as pale as milk.
Severus wanted to do a lot of things to Hermione Granger, none of them legal
and all of them painful for what she was putting Harry through.
"Harry, the Legilimency will only help you remember things. It won't let you
know why she is doing this."
"I know; Flitwick said we could petition the Ministry to let us use it on her.
He said they don't normally allow it if someone is pregnant."
"That's true. If Poppy hadn't told us that she was pregnant, I wouldn't have
been at all surprised if Granger had just been using pregnancy as an excuse so
that she wouldn't be dosed with Veritaserum or to avoid having Legilimency used
against her."
"So she's definitely pregnant then?"
"So it seems. You might want to lie down for this, Harry. We don't know how you
might react once we find the memories."
Harry tugged off his trainers and lay down on the sofa, his head against one of
the armrests and his feet not quite reaching the other. Severus removed his
wand and took a deep breath.
What was he going to find in Harry's mind?
 
Part 22
 
Severus pointed his wand at Harry's head. Harry's whole body was rigid with
tension. "Relax, Harry. I'm not going to hurt you. You have to trust me."
"I do trust you, Severus," the young man replied and Severus knew that it was
true. It amazed him that despite all Harry had been through he still enough
resilience in him to trust anyone at all.
"Legilimens," Severus said softly and soon found himself in Harry's mind.
Memory after memory assailed him: Harry crying in a dark room; a large man
whipping Harry with a belt; Lucius Malfoy raping the young Harry for the first
time; Harry staring morosely at a bowl of porridge at the orphanage. Those
memories were too far back; he concentrated on accessing the more recent ones.
Harry smiling when Severus took him away from the orphanage; his joy at riding
a broom for the first time; the terror as he was raped and abused at school,
his haven.
And then suddenly he found the memory they'd been hoping for.
Harry was lying with his eyes closed and moaning in distress on one of the
beds. His hair was matted with sweat; his clothes were wrinkled and the
bedcovers were mussed up as if he'd been tossing and turning for a while. A
noise from the doorway made him open his eyes and he squinted at the figure;
his glasses were on the bedside table.
"Ron? Is that you?" Harry asked, just as he had to retch over the side of the
bed and vomited into bucket placed there.
"Petrificus Totalus!" someone whispered harshly from the doorway and Harry was
frozen like that, the top half of his body hanging over the bed. A few moments
later Hermione Granger came into the room, her wand gripped tightly in her
fist.
"Not so powerful now, are you? Stopped by a first year spell!" she giggled to
herself. "Not feeling very well, Potter? What a pity. You should have paid more
attention to your drinks, shouldn't you?"
Harry didn't speak, he couldn't due to the binding spell, but Severus could see
his eyes were wide and terrified; Severus knew Harry hated being helpless. He
could almost see Harry concentrating on trying to use wandless magic to stop
the spell, but Granger's spell was too powerful even for Harry.
Hermione wandered over to the bed and pushed Harry down onto it, his head flat
on the pillows and because of the way the spell hit, his legs were in an
awkward angle up in the air. "I spiked your drink, but you've probably guessed
that already. You won't remember this in the morning, just that you were very
ill."
Hermione didn't say anything else. She hovered over Harry's bed and unzipped
his trousers but didn't pull them down. Hermione reached inside the slit of his
underwear and lifted his cock out, her mouth pursing in distaste. "God, they're
ugly things, aren't they?" Hermione removed a vial from her robes and set it
under Harry's quiescent cock. "Expletio!"
Harry's body didn't move, but his cock spurted semen into the vial Hermione had
held in front of him. Once she'd collected it all, she corked the vial and then
released the binding spell. Harry started trembling as blood was forced back
into his limbs and he began to thrash about on the bed. Hermione hid the vial
inside her robes and left the room, closing the door quietly behind her.
Severus let himself out of Harry's mind and found Harry sitting on one end of
the sofa, curled up as small as he could make himself; his knees tight against
his chest and his arms wrapped protectively around himself. "Harry? Are you all
right?"
Harry looked up, his face tear-streaked. "Why, Severus? Why do people keep
doing horrible things to me? It's me, isn't it? It's my fault. I must be bad to
be punished like this! I don't mean to be bad, Severus, I don't!" Harry was in
near-hysterics now, his whole body shaking.
Severus sank down to his knees in front of the sofa and wrapped his arms around
him, pleased when Harry didn't flinch away from him. "You aren't bad, Harry.
None of this is your fault. Those people who hurt you, it was their fault, not
yours. You are not to be blame, Harry."
"Then why do I feel like it is?" sobbed Harry, leaning his head on Severus'
shoulder as he wept and wept.
***
Harry clung to Severus as the Potions master rubbed his back and whispered
soothing sounds against his hair, but Harry couldn't make out the words. His
glasses were digging into his face and hurting him, but he didn't care. He felt
a cold numbness crawling all over his body and he wanted to feel something
other than the despair. It seemed perfectly natural when Severus' whispered
words became kisses to his hair and head; it seemed natural when Severus moved
his head and kissed Harry's forehead; the touch a cool relief on Harry's heated
skin. Severus plucked Harry’s glasses from his face and threw them onto the
sofa before he kissed each eyelid free of tears and stared deep into Harry's
eyes.
"Please," said Harry, although he wasn't entirely sure what he was asking for.
"Harry?" asked Severus, stroking and petting his hair. Harry felt the urge to
purr like a kitten. He angled his head and stretched his body out towards
Severus.
"Please, Severus. Just let me feel." Harry moved forward on the sofa and
reached out to grab Severus' head in a hungry kiss. Both of them were gasping
for breath when it finished.
"Harry, we can't. You're distraught, you don't need this now."
"I do, Severus. I need it. I want it. I want you."
Severus swallowed and closed his eyes. "What do you want, Harry?"
"I don't know. Something. Anything. Please."
Severus nodded and if Harry was surprised at Severus' quick turnaround, he
didn't mention it.
"Sit on my lap," suggested Severus as he moved to sit down with his back
against the sofa and his long legs stretched out in front of it. Harry didn't
need telling twice as he moved into position. Severus used one arm to cradle
Harry's body and with the other he caressed Harry's cheek. "Are you sure,
Harry?"
Harry nodded eagerly and then all thought fled as Severus bent his head and
began to kiss Harry hungrily. The man knew how to kiss and Harry moaned into
his mouth as their tongues touched and duelled. Harry's cock was throbbing and
Harry could hardly believe that they were doing this, that Severus had agreed
so easily. What about the rules?
Harry shifted restlessly in Severus' lap; his trousers were growing tighter by
the moment and he almost wished they would open of their own accord. Severus
seemed to sense it for in the next instant he had Harry's button and zip pulled
down and as he reached inside Harry's boxers, Harry panicked. His wrist hand
jerked out and grabbed hold of Severus' wrist. "No, don't!"
Severus nodded and removed his hand as soon as Harry had spoken. Harry did up
his clothes, made very easy by the fact that his erection had wilted as soon as
Severus had starting unzipping him.That bitch! Severus' hands reminded him of
her hands on him that night and he shuddered with revulsion. Would he ever get
over any of this? Would he ever feel like having sex with anyone?
"I'm sorry, Severus. I didn't mean to lead you on." Harry hid his head against
Severus' chest. He had been aroused; there was no doubt about that, but the
fear had almost overcome him. It was different being with someone else, wet
dreams and wanking in the shower were a lot different than being wrapped up in
Severus' arms.
"Harry, it's all right. I knew you weren't ready." Severus was stroking his
back again; touches like those didn't scare Harry or make him panic. "I don't
care how far we've gone, if you tell me to stop, I will stop. I promise."
"That's why you agreed, wasn't it? I didn't believe you that I wasn't ready for
anything more yet, so you decided to show me?"
"I am a Slytherin, Harry. If one method doesn't work, I'll try another."
"Severus – I – there's something I haven't told you."
"What, pet?" Severus still stroked his back and hair and Harry was almost
drifting off to sleep.
"You won't be angry with me?" And now Harry's heart was beating far too fast
for his chest.
"Harry, you can tell me anything."
"The Aurors ... they made me strip and ... and then they touched me. Inside,"
said Harry, his face flaming.
"Merlin, Harry! Are you hurt? Those bastards! Do you need a pain potion?"
"No, no, I'm fine now. It hurt at the time though," Harry admitted and then
thought he'd better get everything off his chest in one fell swoop as it were.
"I was feeling really awful, Severus. I don't know if I would ever really do
it, but I was thinking about it when I was in the cell. I wondered how easy it
would be to kill myself in there."
"Harry, oh, Harry," said Severus as he hugged Harry even tighter. "I'm glad you
told me."
"Please don't tell anyone else. Mum and Dad would be so upset with me."
"Harry, I rather think they would be more upset that you thought no one could
help you, but I won't tell anyone if you don't want me to. Can you promise me
something, though? That you will talk to me if things get bad again? Don't shut
me out, Harry. Please."
"I'll try," said Harry as he reached up to kiss Severus on the cheek. "That's
all I can promise for now."
***
Harry put down his Transfiguration textbook, he just couldn't concentrate.
After Severus had shown Pensieve testimony of the memory he'd extracted from
Harry's mind; the charges against Harry had been dropped, but they still didn't
know why Hermione had done what she did and she was refusing to say. The
Ministry had reluctantly agreed to allow Legilimency on her to find out; Harry
got the impression that someone higher up than the Aurors who had arrested him
wanted to know what was really going on.
Severus had made a complaint against the Magical Law Enforcement office about
Harry's treatment while in their care and all of the Aurors involved had been
suspended pending an enquiry from Madam Bones.
Harry closed the book with a snap and then paced the living room. He didn't
have to do his homework in the dungeons anymore; as soon as the charges were
dropped he was allowed back to classes and to the dorms. Hermione was nowhere
to be seen; Harry wondered where they'd sent her but was glad that he didn't
have to see her anywhere.
The clock on the mantelpiece chimed five times and Harry wondered how much
longer they would be. Severus had been with the headmaster for over an hour now
after the healers had left.
Just as he was debating going up to the Great Hall for dinner, the door opened
and Severus stepped through.
"Severus? What happened?"
"As you may have noticed, Granger is no longer at school. She's been sent to
St. Mungo's and the healers have just now sent the headmaster their report.
She's jealous of you and of your power, but she knew she could never surpass
it, no matter how good a witch she is. So she decided that if you were so
powerful and so was she, then a child would be even more powerful than both of
you. Her mind has snapped, Harry. She wanted your child to be the next Minister
of Magic and she would of course be running things from behind the scenes. They
found elaborate plans in her dorm, what new laws she wanted to implement for
example. Harry, she was only dating Ron to get close to you."
"No!"
"Yes, I'm afraid so. She never loved him, but she did dose him with a love
potion to try and keep him interested; she felt he was too close to you and it
might scupper her plans. This has been brewing in her head for over a year,
long before she was even going out with Ron. She was just using him to get to
you."
"Poor Ron," said Harry.
"What about you, Harry? You were violated, arrested and humiliated all because
of this and you're worried about your brother? I'm afraid I might have some
words to say to Ron on this subject."
"No, don't. It wasn't his fault. He didn't know what she was doing; he was
under an enchantment, otherwise he never would have hit me."
"How can you be so sure of that?"
"Because he's my brother."
 
Part 23
Harry was playing chess with Neville in the Gryffindor common room when Colin
Creevey came over and coughed politely to one side. "Er, Harry?"
"Yes?" Harry glanced up and moved his pawn.
"Your brother's outside, he wants to see you."
Ginny looked up at Colin too; she'd been doing homework by one of the window
seats. "You can tell Ron to go and get stuffed!"
"Ginny, it's not Ron's fault," said Harry. "Let him in, Colin."
"But he's from Slytherin!" protested Colin and Harry was interested to note
that there was no trace of Colin's hero-worship now. He wondered if Colin had
been one of those who had actually believed that Harry had raped Hermione
before things were cleared up.
"Send him in," Harry said again and this time Colin went back to the portrait
hole and opened it from the inside. He waved Ron through; Ron looked nervously
around the room as everyone stopped chatting and stared at the boy dressed in
Slytherin green and silver. Ron was so pale that his freckles had all but
disappeared.
Harry made his excuses to Neville and escorted Ron up the stairs to his
dormitory; he knew he didn't want an audience for any conversation they were
going to have. Once in the room, Harry removed the clothes scattered on his bed
and stuffed them haphazardly in his trunk. He wished they had chairs in the
dorms, but the bed would have to do. He sat down and patted the bed for Ron to
do the same.
Ron sat down, the bed dipping slightly as he did so. When had Ron got so tall?
He towered over Harry even though they were both sitting down. "Merlin, Harry.
I don't know what to say. Sorry doesn't seem enough. I never meant to hurt you,
I swear. I don't know why I believed her in the first place. I know you
wouldn't do anything like that."
"It was probably the love potion, Ron. You probably thought everything she told
you was the truth."
"More fool me, then. Do you know what's going to happen to her?"
"They're going to keep her in St. Mungo's until the baby is born and then
they're sending her to Azkaban. They're going to do the paternity charm in
March. If the baby is mine, I can apply for custody; if it isn't mine then they
will either contact the father or put the baby up for adoption. They're not
allowing her to keep it in prison."
"Well, who else could be the father?" asked Ron, biting a hangnail on his left
thumb.
"You?"
Ron's face turned as red as his hair. "It can't be mine, Harry. We've never -
I've never... you know."
"Oh. So it probably is mine then."
"So are you going to apply for custody?"
"I don't know. I never thought I'd be a father at all."
"Why not? There's plenty of girls would jump at the chance to go out with you."
"But I wouldn't want to go out with them. I don't like girls that way, Ron.
Maybe if I'd told you that sooner none of this would have happened."
"What? You mean you're gay?" asked Ron, his eyebrows raised so much they almost
became part of his hair.
"Does that bother you?"
"No, I'm just surprised," replied Ron. "After what all those men did to you. I
didn't think you'd want anything to do with men ever again."
"I was raped by girls too," said Harry softly, wrapping his arms around himself
and shuddering. He didn't think he'd be able to trust everyone, but there were
some people he trusted implicitly. His family and Severus sprang to mind. Ron
might have been okay with knowing he was gay but Harry wondered how he would
take the news that Harry was in love with a teacher – Ron's own Head of House
in fact. Harry decided he'd leave that revelation for another day. A day when
he had left school and was perhaps on the other side of the world from Ron.
Yes, that ought to do it.
"God, Harry. How can you cope with all of this? And me being such a prat
probably didn't help. Have you seen the Daily Prophet today?"
"No, I never read it." Harry hadn't read it since fifth year and all the lies
that had been printed about him. It was best not to know. He had enough on his
mind without worrying about what people were saying about him behind his back.
"Those Aurors – the ones who hurt you – they've been sent to Azkaban on Madam
Bones' orders. They got three years each."
"Good," said Harry, but he really didn't want to think about it. About any of
it. He just wanted to be normal. He wanted to be able to kiss and cuddle
Severus without the memories crowding in on him and spoiling it. What if
Severus got fed up with waiting until Harry was ready for more? What if Harry
was never ready for a more physical relationship? Would Severus leave him for
someone who wasn't so haunted?
"I really am sorry, Harry," said Ron. "Can we still be friends?"
Harry wasn't sure what to say to that. On the one hand he knew Ron had been
under the influence of a love potion but on the other he wanted Ron to have had
faith in him no matter what. To say Harry was feeling confused about things
lately was the understatement of the century.
"I suppose so," said Harry, letting Ron hug him.
***
When Harry showed Ron out and then returned to the common room, conversations
suddenly started again. Ginny cornered him by the fireplace. "What did he
want?"
"To apologise."
"I hope you didn't forgive him!" said Ginny, indignant on Harry's behalf. "He
believed that bitch over you!"
"She'd been dosing him with love potions for months, it wasn't Ron's fault,"
insisted Harry.
"You're too soft on him," said Ginny. "I'm still not speaking to him after what
he did. He should never have sided with her over you. Family should stick
together."
Harry nodded; he was exhausted and could feel another headache coming on. It
was only half-eight; he had time to see Severus for a headache potion before
curfew. He could have gone to the infirmary but if his godmother found out how
frequently he'd been having headaches she'd have had him in pyjamas and trussed
up in bed before he knew it. He needed to get away from the others; despite
Harry's name being cleared he still had the impression that there were those
who didn't quite believe he hadn't done anything. Harry was used to being the
subject of gossip, but that didn't mean that he liked it. Quite the opposite in
fact.
"I'm going to see Professor Snape," said Harry quietly.
"You're not still having headaches? Why haven't you gone to Madam Pomfrey?"
"You know how much she fusses."
"That's her job, you should tell her."
Harry shook his head and took his leave before his and Ginny's whispered
conversations garnered any more attention; from the interest the others seemed
to be taking, they may as well have been shouting.
Once outside the portrait, Harry took a deep breath and tried to calm himself
down. Crowds were getting to him a lot lately; even classes were beginning to
be a nightmare with so many people in them. He wished it was June already so
that he could get through his exams and leave. Still with no idea what he
wanted to do with his life or even where he would live after he left Hogwarts,
Harry just knew that he wanted to stay as far away from the school as possible.
There were very few students about as he made his way down to the dungeons and
thankfully no Slytherins were loitering about outside Severus' office either.
Harry knocked on the wood and waited while the wards came down to let him
enter. When Harry pushed the door open, he saw Severus sitting by his desk,
laying aside some marking.
"Hello, Harry." Severus waved his wand so that the door closed with a snap and
the wards went back up. Harry felt their power shimmer along his skin.
"Hi, Severus. I'm sorry to bother you so late."
Severus stood up and moved to hug him; Harry clung to the man's taller frame
like a shipwreck survivor might cling to a passing log. He never wanted to let
go. "It's not late, it's not curfew yet," said Severus, smiling into his hair.
Harry snuggled his head against Severus' chest, his headache always seemed
muted if he was with Severus.
"Do you have any more of that pain potion?" asked Harry.
"Headaches again?" Severus tilted Harry's chin up to face him and peer into his
eyes. "You really should see Poppy about those, Harry. It's not normal to be
having headaches every day. How long has it been now?"
"A week? A week and a half maybe."
"I do have some potion, but I really think you need to go to the infirmary to
find out what's causing them."
"It's probably stress," said Harry.
"It could be, but there are plenty of other causes of headaches. If they aren't
gone within the next few days, I want you to tell Poppy or I will."
"Okay, okay," said Harry, knowing that he wasn't going to get out if it.
"Severus, can I stay in my old room tonight? I can't stay in the dorms any
more, there are too many people. I can't stand it."
"I'll have to clear it with Professor McGonagall, but I don't see why not. They
were quite keen to have you stay here before."
"Yeah, when they thought I was a rapist," said Harry bitterly.
Severus kissed him on the forehead. "Go through while I find Minerva. The pain
potion is in my bathroom, top shelf, blue vial."
"Thanks," said Harry as he wandered through to their quarters. He still thought
of them as theirs, even though Harry wasn't officially staying with Severus any
longer. Severus' bathroom was very similar to Harry's but his bathtub was a lot
bigger. It could seat about five people comfortably and there were seats all
around it like in the Prefects' bathroom.
Harry found the potion and downed it in two short gulps. A few seconds later he
was pain free, and he smiled to himself. Having a Potions Master for a
boyfriend certainly had its perks. Harry went back out to the living room to
wait for Severus to come back from seeing McGonagall; for Severus still didn't
allow his quarters to be connected to the Floo network.
Harry took off his shoes and put his legs up on the sofa so he could read for a
bit but put his book down when Severus returned.
"Well?" asked Harry.
"She said you can stay."
"Thanks."
"How's your head now?"
"Fine, you know your potions work," said Harry, swinging his legs off the sofa
so that Severus could sit down beside him. "Um, Severus - it looks like the
baby might be mine. Would you still want to be with me if I had a child?"
"Harry, of course I would! What do you take me for? If the child is yours, then
it's part of you. The baby is innocent in all of this and deserves to be raised
in a loving home. With two parents if at all possible."
"I know nothing about raising children," said Harry miserably.
"Well then, we can both learn together, can't we?"
"Together? Do you really mean that?"
"I do, Harry, I do," said Severus as he leaned over and kissed Harry softly.
 
Part 24
On the last weekend in March, Severus took Harry to St. Mungo's to find out the
results of the paternity charm the healers were going to cast on Hermione
Granger. Harry had been getting more and more subdued as the date approached
and although Harry's work in class didn't seem to be suffering, Severus did
notice that Harry was avoiding his friends. When he confronted Finnegan and
Longbottom about it one day after class, they agreed.
Harry had been spending a lot of his time alone and other than studying he did
little else with them any more. There were no games of chess or Exploding Snap
in the evenings; no games of Quidditch with his friends. It seemed that Harry
was just having the minimum interaction with those at school, in fact Severus
seemed to be the only one he was having any sort of conversation with these
days.
Much that he enjoyed the fact that Harry was talking to him, Severus knew it
was folly to just have one person to rely on. Harry needed his friends too; he
needed something as normal as friends in his life for Merlin knew it had been
far from normal up until this point.
The Tube train rattled along the rails while Harry stared at the floor and the
feet of the passengers sitting opposite them. Severus stared at the Muggle
posters opposite him offering insurance and medical care, wondering if anyone
would really rely on something they'd read about on a train. Next to him, he
could feel Harry tense up whenever anyone got too close to him. The train was
crowded and some people were standing in the aisle and looming over them;
Severus knew how much Harry hated to be penned in. Severus wished it had been
possible to Apparate to St. Mungo's, the journey seemed to be taking forever
and during every second of delay Severus could almost sense Harry getting more
and more distressed.
Severus wanted to do something to help, but wasn't sure what. He could have
patted Harry's hand, but was afraid that it would seem too glib. In the end he
settled for giving Harry a small smile and felt his heart soar when Harry
returned it.
It was a relief when they finally got out at the central London station nearest
to St. Mungo's. "It'll be all right, Harry," Severus said, feeling terrible
that he had little else to offer but platitudes.
Both of them had dressed in Muggle clothes today; Harry looked every inch an
adolescent in jeans and sweatshirt with a pale blue coat over everything. He
hardly looked old enough to have a child.
Harry hadn't said a word all morning and he showed no inclination of talking
any time soon either. They walked the pavement in silence and even when they
stepped through the glass of the department store straight into the bustle of
the hospital waiting room, Harry never said a word.
Severus took his hand now that they were out of sight of the Muggles and led
them both to the welcomewitch's desk. "We're here about a paternity charm,"
said Severus. "Hermione Granger. I believe the Healer is expecting us."
"Fourth floor," said the witch. "Next!"
Severus ushered Harry along and up the stairs where they found a nurse sitting
behind a desk in the corridor. Posters of the human mind lined the walls along
with pictures of flowers and seascapes. The waves were quite distracting and
Severus wondered if they'd been placed there to try and soothe the patients or
the visitors.
There was a row of five wooden chairs and a coffee table in front of it along
the left hand wall, underneath a picture of a pink tulip. Harry stared at the
tulip, watching the petals furl and unfurl as if he could make sense of the
universe if he just stared at it long enough. An array of newspapers and
magazines were fanned out across the coffee table, but Harry showed no interest
in them whatsoever. A jug of water and a couple of glasses sat beside the
magazines, condensation beading on the outside of the jug.
Glancing back at Harry, who was still staring at the tulip on the wall, Severus
confronted the nurse, who was looking bored if the speed with which she sat up
straight to attention as soon as she saw them was any indication. Like the
Healers she was dressed in green but instead of the crossed bone and wand
emblem of a full Healer, there was only a golden flower on her lapel.
"We're here to get the results of Hermione Granger's paternity test," said
Severus.
The nurse smiled at him. "The Healer is just in with Miss Granger now. Take a
seat; he should be out in a moment."
"Thank you," said Severus, as he returned to the row of chairs. Harry turned
around on hearing his footsteps, his face paler than the wall behind him.
"Are you all right?"
"I feel sick," Harry mumbled to him. "Did you see toilets anywhere?"
Severus glanced around the corridor. "Over there, left hand side."
"I'll be back in a minute."
While Harry was gone, Severus lifted up a magazine and flicked through the
pages, but he wasn't really taking anything in; he was too worried about Harry.
How must he be feeling? It was all very well in theory to imagine that he would
feel better once he knew for definite whether or not the child was his, but how
would Harry really feel when he heard the news? Severus was in a state of
nervous agitation himself, almost as if he was going to find out whether or not
he would be a father. In a way, they would both come away today with the
knowledge that they would both be fathers or that neither of them would be.
Severus could no longer imagine his life without Harry in it and if that meant
Harry had a child to look after then they would both raise the child together.
Harry came out of the toilets at the same time as the Healer came out of one of
the doors lining the corridor, Harry stopped stock-still in the middle of the
hallway and for a moment, Severus thought Harry might vomit on the floor there
and then. Severus saw Harry swallow and seem to get his nervousness under
control.
"Mr. Potter-Weasley?" asked the Healer.
Harry nodded and they both made their way over to where Severus was sitting by
the coffee table. Severus stood up to shake hands with the Healer, who was
smiling. He had long silver hair tied back in a pony tail and pale blue eyes
that reminded Severus of the headmaster.
"Have you done the paternity charm?" asked Harry.
"Yes, I have the results right here. Why don't we go into my office to discuss
them?"
"No, thank you. I just need to know."
"Do you not wish the results to be confidential?" queried the Healer, with one
eye cocked in Severus' direction.
"You can tell me anything you need to in front of Severus," said Harry firmly
and he wouldn't budge.
"Very well, congratulations. You are going to be a father, Mr. Potter-Weasley.
Have you decided yet whether you will be wanting custody or is the baby going
to be adopted?"
"I want to raise the baby," said Harry firmly and Severus knew Harry had
already decided that long ago.
"I see," said the Healer, scribbling something on a clipboard he conjured. "And
what do you do for a job? Are you financially secure enough to raise a child?"
Harry snorted, as if he was trying not to laugh. "Yes, I'm financially secure."
Severus glared at the Healer. "You are looking at the heir to both the Black
and Potter estates; of course he's financially secure! He is also the child's
father and has every right to raise the child if he wishes!"
"Of course, of course. I had to ask – it's part of my job. Nearer to the birth,
we'll just need you to sign some paperwork to say that you have accepted the
child and intend to care for it until it reaches its majority."
"Fine, just send all the details to Hogwarts," said Severus.
The Healer nodded and added some notes, Severus tried to read over the man's
shoulder but couldn't make out his scrawl; it was worse than some of the first
year essays he had to mark. "Would you like to be notified of any scans or
indeed would you like to attend them?"
"No, but please send any results to Hogwarts, care of Professor Snape. He will
see that I get them."
Severus nodded his assent; they'd both decided that it was best if any dealings
with the hospital came through him rather than Harry himself; they wanted to
deflect as much attention away from Harry as possible. The Daily Prophet would
have a field day if they discovered Harry's imminent fatherhood and Severus
knew Harry had had enough negative attention to last him a lifetime.
"This is all confidential," said Severus. "We do not want to be reading about
this in the newspapers, are we clear?"
"Yes, sir, of course. I take my Oaths very seriously."
The Healer turned to Harry and seemed to be debating with himself whether or
not to say anything. Eventually he blurted it out.
"Would you like to visit the mother?" asked the Healer delicately.
"No, I wouldn't," replied Harry. "I want nothing to do with her."
 
Part 25
By the time they left the hospital, Harry was shaking so much it was a wonder
he didn't trip over his own feet. The crowds shopping along Oxford Street
didn't help one bit and he was relieved when Severus led him into a small
alleyway between the shops. There was no way Harry could face another tube
journey to Charing Cross. Severus didn't say anything, neither did Harry. They
didn't need to. Severus wrapped his arms around Harry and Disapparated them
both to the market square in Diagon Alley.
Harry had passed his Apparation test first time but he knew he would have been
more than likely to splinch himself today and was glad that Severus had taken
control of things. They got some funny looks because of their Muggle garb, but
then Harry had been used to being stared at ever since he entered the wizarding
world and he shook off their stares as a duck would shake water off its back.
As they made their way down Diagon Alley towards Weasleys' Wizard Wheezes,
Harry noticed that a lot of the shops that had been boarded up during the war
were now coming to life again with new owners. People wandered in and out of
the shops with boxes of merchandise and fabrics; bright posters announced when
they would open and the street was buzzing with life. Only two shops remained
closed. Outside Florean Fortescue's Ice-Cream Parlour, the candy-striped
umbrellas lay scattered about the ground like weapons that had been discarded
after a battle, all of them ripped or faded. Ollivander's wand-shop was boarded
up and no windows were visible there at all.
When they reached the twins' shop, Harry wanted to run all the way back to
Hogwarts. The twins had invited them to lunch since they were in London, but
Harry wasn't sure he was up to pretending everything was normal in front of
them. Fred and George, more than any of his brothers always seemed to know his
moods without ever being told. Harry stood on the threshold for a few minutes
before taking a deep breath and walking into the shop. Feeling Severus' hand on
the small of his back made him turn back around and give him a small smile. He
could do this. He could do anything as long as he had Severus.
The joke shop was packed with customers so that at first neither of the twins
saw them enter. It was Fred who spotted them first; he gave Harry a broad grin
and finished dealing with his last customer. As it was getting nearer to lunch-
time the crowds were thinning out, people wanting to head off somewhere for
lunch.
"Verity," said George as he handed over a woman's wrapped parcel. "Can you put
the closed sign on the door? Our lunch guests are here."
"Of course, Mr. Weasley," said the assistant and went to do just that. "I
should be back by two, is that all right?"
"That's fine, Verity," said Fred and Harry hid a grin at hearing one of the
twins being called Mr. Weasley. It seemed they had well and truly grown up now.
Once Verity placed the closed sign on the door, she took her leave and the
twins led Harry and Severus up the stairs to their living quarters.
There was an open plan living room and kitchen; the table was already set for
four. While Fred bustled about putting the finishing touches to a chicken
salad, George ushered Harry over to the sofa and made him sit down.
"Well?" he asked without preamble.
"It looks like you're both going to be uncles," said Harry.
"Oh, Harry," said Fred as he levitated all four plates onto the table. The food
looked delicious but Harry wasn't feeling hungry. "What are you going to do?"
"I'm going to raise the baby," said Harry, wishing he felt more excited at that
prospect. The truth was that he was terrified out of his wits. What did he know
about being a father?
"That's a lot of responsibility," said George sagely. "You're only seventeen,
Harry. Are you sure you really want to do this?"
"Do you think I don't know that? I wouldn't choose to be a father this young,
but I didn't have a choice, did I? She took that from me," said Harry bitterly.
"She took that choice away."
"Exactly," said Fred. "You don't owe her anything, Harry. You don't have to
raise a child that you didn't ask for and didn't want."
"I never said I didn't want it. No child should be unwanted." Harry wrapped his
arms around himself and tried to will away the tears. No child should ever feel
like he once had and no child of Harry's would ever doubt that it was loved.
"Still, it's going to be hard on your own. I'm sure there'd be plenty of people
who would want to adopt a baby," mused Fred.
"And what happens if they don't?" demanded Harry. "I'm not allowing any child
of mine to go to an orphanage. Never!" Fred and George exchanged glances and
changed the subject.
"Why don't we have some lunch?" suggested George, waving at the table. With
feet that felt like lead rather than flesh and bone, Harry sat down at the
table and prodded his salad leaves with a fork, but couldn't face eating
anything on the plate. He sipped his pumpkin juice and toyed with his food,
hoping they'd not notice he wasn't eating any of it.
"So Mr. Fortescue was never found, then?" asked Harry when the silence seemed
to stretch forever.
"No, there are still a lot of people unaccounted for. His cousin's selling the
shop," said George.
"It would take a lot of work to get it back up to the standard it once was,"
said Severus. "It's been empty so long. I don't suppose his cousin has the
recipes for his ice-creams?"
"As a matter of fact, he does. They were in the safe in the shop but Giles
Fortescue isn't interested in running a shop; so whoever buys the shop gets the
recipes as well."
"Oh," said Harry, his mind working frantically. After the war, Harry had no
desire to be an Auror but up until now; he had no idea what he might want to do
after he left school and having a baby seemed enough responsibility to be going
on with. But now he couldn’t stop thinking about the ice-cream shop. It would
be something bright and fun, not Dark, and if he was his own boss he could have
the baby in the shop with him. But would Severus think it was a good idea? Or
did he expect Harry to stay on at Hogwarts living in the dungeons with him?
They'd never actually discussed anything like that yet.
"So who's for pudding?" George asked with false brightness when it was clear no
one was going to be eating any more of the salad.
No one replied and George sank back into his seat again, looking thoroughly
dejected.
"Harry, are you sure you've thought this through? You don't have to decide
straightaway, do you? Do you really want to be raising a baby on your own?"
asked Fred.
"I won't be on my own," said Harry. "Severus will be with me."
Fred and George looked at each other again, speaking in the silent twin
language that Harry could never share and sometimes envied. "Harry, can I talk
to you for a minute?" asked Fred, standing up and pointing to the open door of
a bedroom. Harry set his napkin down on the table and followed Fred in.
"Would you like to explain that, Harry? What do you mean he'll be with you?"
"I think you already know what I mean," said Harry.
"Yes, I rather fear that I do. He's your teacher for Merlin's sake! Has he been
abusing you all this time?"
"What? No! It's nothing like that! Severus would never hurt me!"
"Then what is he doing carrying on with a student?" demanded Fred.
"He isn't, not like that. We're both waiting until I've left school before we
go any further but I suppose we are together."
"Together? Harry, he's far too old for you, surely you can see how wrong this
is?"
"It's not wrong!" retorted Harry. "I love him and he loves me!"
"You know Mum and Dad probably won't approve of this."
Harry did know and it hurt to think that his family wouldn't be able to support
his choices but Harry was almost eighteen. They were his choices and he
wouldn't let anyone sway him from being with Severus if that's what they both
wanted.
"Harry, please tell me Snape hasn't been hurting you all this time. Has he
frightened you into being with him?"
"Fred, this isn't like those men at the orphanage or the people at school.
Severus has never done anything inappropriate with me, I swear. We have kissed,
but that's all." Harry wasn't going to go into details about the disastrous
night when Severus had to show him that Harry hadn't been ready for anything
further yet. "We're not sleeping together or anything like that and we won't
while I'm still his student. He wants to do the right thing."
"But it would hurt his career if this got out," said Fred.
"You're not going to report us?" Harry asked in a panicked voice.
Fred hugged him fiercely. "Of course not! I was just worried about you, but I
want you to be happy. Are you happy with him?"
"I am, Fred, I am," said Harry.
***
Severus couldn't hear what was being said in the bedroom, but he could guess.
George kept looking at Severus and then glancing to the closed bedroom door as
if willing Harry and his twin to return post-haste. After about ten minutes
they did so; Harry's face was dry and he smiled shyly at Severus.
Fred pulled out one of the kitchen chairs and sat down with a heavy sigh.
"So, Professor, would you care to tell us what your intentions are towards our
brother?"
George looked gobsmacked and stared from Harry to Severus, only now putting two
and two together and coming up with four. "Harry? You and Snape?"
Harry sat next to Severus on the sofa and took hold of his hand. "Yes."
George whistled and winked at Harry, seeming to take it all as a joke.
"It's not a joke," said Harry. "We want to be together."
George glanced at Fred. "You still haven't answered, Professor," said Fred.
"What are your intentions?"
"I thought that was obvious," said Severus. "I intend to marry him."
Part 26
Professor Tofty stood by the large desk that had replaced the teachers' table
in the Great Hall, a shaft of sunlight slanted across his face from the tall
windows as he surveyed the rows of students. The light caught the sand in the
hourglass he was holding in his hand, making the grains sparkle. Harry shifted
uneasily in his chair, impatient for the exam to start. Potions was his last
exam and he wanted to do well in Severus' subject; despite not continuing with
any education, Harry wanted to make Severus proud of him. His right hand almost
automatically reached out to caress the ring finger on his left hand. He
allowed a small smile to grace his face as he felt the solidity of his
betrothal ring beneath his fingers. Despite being hidden by a concealment
charm, to touch it made it feel as if Severus was here with him.
School would finish in a few more days, although after their last exam the
seventh years were free to do what they wanted. They had no further classes and
could spend the whole time in Hogsmeade if they wished, although Professor
McGonagall had already warned the Gryffindors that she didn't want them getting
drunk or too rowdy; she didn't want them to be a bad influence on the younger
students. Once the exams were over, Harry wasn't sure her instructions would be
obeyed. Even the Great Hall was filled with restless tension; the students
knowing that freedom from school and exams was only hours away.
"You will have three hours to complete the paper," said Professor Tofty. "If
you require extra quills, ink or parchment, please raise your hand and I will
assist. At no time are you to speak to your classmates even to borrow a quill,
that will earn you an automatic fail. You may begin." Tofty turned the
hourglass over and set it down on the desk. There was a rustle of paper as
everyone turned their exam over.
Harry sucked on the end of his quill as he read through the first few
questions.
Describe accurately the effects of Dreamless Sleep in combination with opiate
derivative potions.
List the twelve uses of dragon's blood and the instructions for at least three
potions which use dragon's blood in their make-up.
Veriteraserum is most effective when used on wizards in full control of their
faculties. Discuss.
Why should you never give a Calming Draught and Draught of the Living Death to
the same patient?
Harry grinned as he dipped his quill in the ink. This exam was going to be a
doddle.
***
Three hours later, his hand cramping from so much writing and his thumb smudged
with blue, Harry found Ron waiting for him outside the Great Hall. Ron grinned
at his brother. "How did you do?"
"I think I did okay, I almost fluffed that one on unicorn's hair though, but I
think I saved it."
"Okay?" sneered Malfoy as he exited the Hall. "The NEWTs won't be marked by
Snape, Potter. Being the teacher's pet won't help you there. You've failed, I
can guarantee it."
"Oh, is that so, Malfoy?" retorted Harry. He'd never have to see Draco Malfoy
once he left school and that day couldn't come soon enough. Malfoy had spent
most of the year needling Harry with insults and taunts but Harry had been
through so much over the years that they hardly bothered him. What did bother
him was that Draco was starting to look so much like his father and sometimes
the memories of Draconis seemed to swim in front of him whenever he saw the
other boy. Thankfully, Draco had shown no interest in Harry like that. "Well, I
can guarantee that you're the biggest prat who ever went to Hogwarts."
"You half-blood freak!" shrieked Malfoy, fumbling in his robes for his wand.
His hand got stuck and by the time it emerged with his wand, his face red and
sweating, Neville, Dean and Seamus had all come out of the Hall and were
gathered around Ron and Harry like guards. Even Malfoy wasn't stupid enough to
take on all five of them at once by himself. He stalked off muttering something
under his breath.
"You okay, Harry?" asked Seamus, his eyes following Malfoy's back.
"Yeah, Malfoy was just being an arse as usual," said Harry. It gave him a warm
glow that his friends cared enough about him to ask.
"Are we still on for the party tonight at the Three Broomsticks?" asked Dean.
"I can't," said Neville, blushing. "I'm meeting Luna."
"Bring her along," said Seamus. "The more the merrier!"
Neville blushed harder and mumbled something about "alone".
"Neville! You're a sly one," said Seamus with a wink. "Tonight's the night, is
it?"
"A gentlemen never tells," said Neville with a small giggle and Harry had to
stifle one himself. Maybe a gentleman never told everyone, but Neville had
already told Harry all about it. Tonight would not be Neville and Luna's first
time together and Harry wondered why on earth Neville had confided in Harry
when they all knew Harry was gay. Maybe that was the reason; out of them all
Harry would have been the one least likely to gossip about it in the locker-
rooms.
"You're coming tonight, aren't you, Ron?" asked Dean.
"I thought your party was just for Gryffindors?"
"Nah, anybody can come if they want. Just make sure the teachers don't catch us
sneaking back in!" Seamus laughed and held his sides.
***
After lunch, Harry left his friends and made his way down to the dungeons; he
hadn't seen Severus all day and his headache was getting worse. He'd finally
seen Poppy about his headaches after they came back from St. Mungo's the day he
discovered he was going to be a father. The news had been interesting to say
the least; Harry was having headaches because he had found his soul-mate and
they wouldn't go away completely until they were bonded and the bond was
consummated. Severus hadn't seemed at all surprised to discover they were soul-
mates and Harry often wondered if Severus suffered the headaches too when they
were apart.
Severus was waiting for him right inside the door; he swept Harry up in his
arms and swung him round making Harry's robe flare out like a ballerina's
skirt. "How did it go?" asked Severus, his lips very close to Harry's mouth.
Harry closed his eyes and inched his lips closer for a soft kiss. Severus
didn't deepen it and Harry had the impression that Severus was keeping himself
under strict control until Harry was no longer a student and they had told the
rest of his family about their engagement. Severus set him down on the floor
but Harry still felt as if he was floating on air, he just couldn't seem to
keep the giddy grin off his face.
"I think I did all right," said Harry. "I wanted you to be proud of me."
"I am proud of you," said Severus as he reached down and caressed Harry's
cheek. Harry leaned into the touch and glanced up at Severus with hungry eyes.
It barely took a touch from Severus these days and he was hard and aching in
his trousers, but they'd both decided to wait until after the wedding. "You've
been through so much, Harry. I'm very proud of how well you turned out."
Harry flushed with pleasure at the compliment. His headache had gone completely
now and he grinned up at his soon-to-be husband. "I got a letter from
Fortescue's solicitors the other day. The completion date is the 4th of August,
but he's agreed that we can go to the shop before then for repairs and that
sort of thing."
"That's very generous of him," said Severus. Harry had been surprised how
enthusiastic Severus had been about them buying the ice-cream parlour; Harry
thought for sure Severus wanted to remain at Hogwarts to teach. He soon
discovered that Severus had only come to Hogwarts to teach in order to protect
Harry until he'd faced Voldemort. Severus had never desired teaching as a
career and now that Harry was leaving, so could he.
"We might even be able to re-open the shop in late August, catch the back-to-
school crowd," mused Severus, his eyebrows knitting together as he thought of
what needed to be done. Severus was the one who was going to be making the ice-
creams; Harry was a terrible cook and he didn't want to accidentally poison
anyone. He worried sometimes if they were doing the right thing; getting
married, having a baby and a business all at once, but one look or hug from
Severus and he knew it was the only thing he wanted.
Harry grinned at him and stood on tiptoes to give him another kiss. "I love
you."
"I love you too, Harry," smiled Severus. "But do I love you enough to give you
a hangover cure for tomorrow?"
"What?" spluttered Harry.
"You forget, Harry. I was a student here too. There is always a party for the
seventh years in the Three Broomsticks after the final exams. Madam Rosmerta
turns a blind eye and doesn't tell the school that the students are out after
curfew, but did you really think the teachers don't know?"
"And they approve?"
"I wouldn't say approve, more like tolerate and as long as you aren't too noisy
when you come back, nothing will be said about it. Even Minerva knows the
students have to let their hair down occasionally."
Harry snorted with laughter, with her hair in tight buns and lips so pursed it
looked as if she'd been sucking lemons, Harry couldn't imagine Professor
McGonagall letting her hair down in any sense. "So does that mean I've got your
permission to get plastered tonight?" grinned Harry. He was teasing; Harry
didn't intend to drink anything stronger than butterbeer, he wanted to keep all
of his faculties intact.
"Harry, I'm not your father. You don't need my permission to make a fool of
yourself."
"No, I don't," laughed Harry. "I can be a fool all by myself."
 
Part 27
The whole Weasley family was gathered around the wooden, scrubbed table in The
Burrow's kitchen. It was a small party to celebrate Harry and Ron having left
Hogwarts and their childhood behind. Harry wished Severus was here and as
everyone dived into the food Harry's stomach was tying itself in more and more
knots. Maybe he should have waited until Severus could support him, but Harry
had decided it was high time his family knew that they were getting married.
Watching Charlie munching his way through a bowl of popcorn, Harry tried to
will his mouth to work.
Fred, who was sitting on Harry's left, leaned over and whispered in his ear,
"Haven't you told them yet?"
"Told them what?" queried Ron who was sitting on Harry's other side.
"Ssh!" Fred and Harry hissed together.
Molly arched an eyebrow in their direction as she refilled Bill's glass with
lemonade. God, how was he supposed to tell them? Should he just blurt it out
and hope for the best? They had to know; they were his family and Harry wanted
their approval and he wanted them to be at the bonding ceremony. Maybe he
should just wait until the invitations arrived; then he wouldn't have to say
anything at all. Harry took a swig of his own lemonade but he drank it so fast
the bubbles went up his nose and he ended up spluttering it out all over the
tablecloth.
"Sorry," he mumbled and used a spell to clean it up.
"Out with it, Harry dear," said Molly.
"It's nothing."
"You've been as nervous as a hen in a fox's lair all day. You want to tell us
something but you're unsure how we'll react."
"How did you...?"
"I'm your mother," she smiled at him and Harry wondered why on Earth he had
been so nervous about telling them. He felt tears gathering at the corners of
his eyes and he blinked rapidly trying to dispel them before anyone saw.
"Harry, we love you," said Arthur. "Love isn't conditional. You can tell us
anything you need to, we'll still love you no matter what. Now what is it you
want to tell us? Have you heard from the hospital? Is everything all right with
the baby?"
"The baby's fine," said Harry. "I got the latest scan last week; it's perfectly
healthy. It's not that."
"What is it, then?" asked Bill; his face still retaining much of the tan he'd
acquired on his last trip to Egypt. Next to him Charlie looked as if he spent
all his time indoors although Harry knew a lot of the work on the dragon
reserve was outdoors too. Maybe Charlie used stronger sun protection charms
than Bill. Harry knew he was stalling, just trying to think of something else…
anything else.
He took a deep breath, not looking at anyone in particular, although he did
wonder how Charlie might take the news.
"Severus and I are getting married on the fifteenth of July," Harry said in a
rush. For a few moments there was complete silence at the table and Harry was
mentally packing his trunk and heading off to Diagon Alley to live above the
ice-cream shop when they disowned him.
"That's nice, dear," said Molly. "It's very short notice though; I do hope
Madam Malkin has some nice dress robes in stock."
"Aw, Mum, do we have to wear dress robes?" protested Ron.
"Yes you do, Ronald Bilius Weasley! Your brother is getting married and no one
from his family is going to show him up, is that clear?" Molly's eyes raked
over the whole table and there were nods and murmurs of assent from everyone.
"Now, Harry, if you need any help with the arrangements you just let me know,
all right?"
"Actually, Severus is arranging everything. He said all I and the guests need
to do is turn up. It's supposed to be a surprise; I don't even know where we're
getting married."
"Oh? So everything is being done then? I see," said Molly, sitting down next to
Arthur and squeezing his hand. She sounded disappointed.
"Well, not everything. We haven't organised anywhere for our honeymoon yet,
could you help me with that? I said I'd arrange that as a surprise for him."
"Oh, I'd love to!" beamed Molly. The mood around the table brightened
considerably after that, although Ron seemed rather subdued. Harry could have
kicked himself; how could he have been so insensitive? After what Hermione had
done to him, to both of them, Ron was probably not feeling like discussing
wedding plans.
"Ron, you're still going to be my best man, aren't you?"
"Do you want me to?"
"Of course! Who else was I going to ask?"
"I thought you might have already asked Neville or Seamus. They're your best
friends."
"Exactly, Ron. They're my friends. You're my brother."
***
The party dragged on until late in the evening but soon everyone was heading up
to bed and the only two people left in the kitchen were Harry and Arthur.
Charmed brushes were finishing the washing up and Harry stared at the sink
rather than his father. He had the feeling this was an unspoken deliberate
arrangement, leaving the two of them alone to talk. Was he now going to be told
that they didn't approve after all?
Arthur made them both a mug of hot chocolate; Harry sat nursing his and blowing
on the top of it. None of the lanterns had been lit and the only illumination
came from the flickering fire.
"Are you happy, Harry?" asked Arthur after taking a sip of his chocolate.
"Pardon?"
"Are you happy with Severus?"
"Oh. Oh, yes. He makes me very happy."
"You understand, I had to ask. After what happened to you and Ron with that
girl, I had to hear it from you."
"It's nothing like that; this isn't a love potion or a spell. I love him and he
loves me."
"Good, good. And has he been treating you ... well?"
It took a few moments for Harry to understand the question. Like the twins, did
he suspect that Severus had been taking advantage of him?
"He's treated me very well, Dad. You don't have to worry. Nothing like that has
even happened yet; we both decided to wait until after the wedding."
"Is that why the wedding is so soon, Harry? Is he pressuring you for more
physical intimacy?"
"No, it's nothing like that! I decided on the date, I want to marry him as soon
as we can. We wanted to get married and get the shop sorted out before the baby
arrives. This works out for the best."
"Harry, just because you get married doesn't mean you have to feel forced into
doing things you aren't ready for yet. I hope Severus knows that and doesn't
use the fact that you'll be married to coerce you into things."
"He wouldn't!" said Harry. "We're soul-mates, Dad. He would never do anything
to hurt me."
"I know he's your soul-mate, Harry, and so does your mother. Otherwise the news
would have been more of a shock. But soul-mate or not, don't feel forced into
anything. You've been through so much, Harry. I don't want to see you get
hurt."
"I won't, Severus will look after me."
"And if he doesn't, he'll have a clan of Weasleys to answer to," Arthur laughed
and ruffled his hair. "Look at you, all grown up. You're an amazing young man,
Harry. Remember you'll always have a family here, you and Severus both."
"Thanks. How did you know he was my soul-mate? I only knew when Poppy told me
about the headaches."
"The first time I saw you together, there was a silver thread connecting you
both."
"I've never seen it."
"It's very difficult to see, it's not usually visible to the naked eye but it
was so strong that day that I caught a glimpse of it. It's why you have
headaches and you hurt when you're away from Severus for any length of time;
the thread is stretched so thin."
Harry gazed down at his body as though expecting to see it shimmering there,
but he didn't.
"Where did it join us?"
"From heart to heart."
 
Part 28
 
"Nervous, Harry?" asked Ron as he finished braiding Harry's hair. They'd had to
cast a lengthening charm on it as Harry's hair was too short for any sort of
braid and it was a wizarding tradition that grooms and brides always wore at
least one braid in their hair as it was considered lucky.
"A bit," said Harry, glancing at himself in the mirror. He hardly recognised
himself. Most of his hair was loose and was now long enough for him to sit on
it if he wished. There were two braids on either side of his forehead; once
he'd finished on the left hand one, Ron pulled both braids back and tied them
together with a silver clasp.
"There," said Ron and stood back as if surveying his handiwork.
"And Severus' hair will be braided too?" asked Harry. His own curtain of hair
felt very strange; for so long his hair had barely been past his collar and was
as wild as a thorn bush. Now his hair was beyond his waist and was as straight
and sleek as a raven's wing. He trailed his fingers through it and wondered if
Severus would like it. Molly told him the charm would last long enough for the
ceremony but that his hair would revert to its normal state later that night.
Funnily enough, he didn't feel as if the long hair made him look at all
girlish, most older wizards wore their hair long.
Harry's heart jolted as his thoughts turned to tonight and what they might be
doing. Despite his family's worry about his welfare, Harry knew he felt ready
for more than kisses and he could hardly wait until he and Severus were alone
together. He'd already masturbated twice this morning in the shower, his
thoughts never straying very far from his future husband. Harry was ready for
this – more than ready if the dreams he'd been having lately were anything to
go by.
Harry was dressed in a robe of royal blue with a paler shirt and silk trousers
underneath. Molly reckoned green would have suited him better but green was
considered unlucky for weddings. Harry wondered if that applied to his eyes as
well and thought that both of them had had enough bad luck in their lives
already.
Ron and Harry were the only two left in the house, everyone else had already
gone on by Portkey to the surprise wedding location. It suddenly dawned on
Harry that this would be his last time living at The Burrow. He and Severus
would have a new home now and soon they'd have a family too. The flat above the
ice-cream shop was packed with boxes of baby clothes and toys that Harry
couldn't resist buying when they'd seen them. They'd already turned one of the
bedrooms into a nursery ready for the new arrival. The baby wasn't due until
the middle of September but Harry had wanted to make sure everything was in
place before then.
"Ready, Harry?" asked Ron, lifting up the silver bracelet from the dressing
table.
Harry nodded. "Yeah, I think I am." Harry reached out to touch the bracelet as
well and despite bracing himself for what he knew was coming, Harry still felt
nausea churning in his stomach when he felt the pull behind his navel as he and
Ron were whisked away in a whirl of sound and colour.
Thankfully he did manage to remain upright when they reached their destination.
Harry stared around him in awe; it looked they'd arrived in the middle of a
tropical jungle. Strange looking trees and shrubs held colourful birds making
exotic sounding cries. They'd landed by a pool being fed by a waterfall
cascading high up over a cliff opposite them, the rush of the water almost
drowning out the sounds of the birds. All the guests were already there dressed
in their best finery, the colours as exotic as the birds' plumage. And there,
standing a little further away was Severus. His soon-to-be husband. His soul-
mate.
Harry's heart shot into his throat as he stared at the man in front of him.
Severus too had grown his hair longer and it was arranged in exactly the same
style as Harry's. Severus' wedding robes weren't blue; they were a very deep
silver jacquard with lots of embroidered runes on them. Harry had no idea what
the runes meant, but Severus looked very handsome in silver. His dark eyes were
standing out so much in contrast to the silver that Harry felt himself just
gazing into his eyes as if the rest of the world had disappeared. Unused to
seeing him in any colours except black and white, Harry could hardly stop
staring at him.
Severus smiled at Harry and held out his hand, once Harry had taken it; Severus
led them both to a small outcrop of rock by the edge of the water. Dumbledore
was already standing there with a twinkle in his eyes that matched the stars on
his purple robes. Harry was hardly aware of the guests although he knew they
were there; he had eyes only for Severus.
"Honoured guests, we are gathered here today to join Harry and Severus in
spirit and magic. If there are any who think there are valid reasons why this
bonding should not take place, let them speak now or be forever silent."
Dumbledore paused for a few moments but no one issued any objections.
"Severus, take Harry's left hand in yours," said Dumbledore.
Severus let go of Harry's right hand and lifted up his left instead. As he did
so, Dumbledore waved his hands and two conjured white ribbons wrapped
themselves around their joined hands. Little sparks of white light shot out
from the ribbons and Harry could feel the magic pulsing in the air around them.
"Harry, you are the other half of me. I give you everything of mine as you mean
everything to me. I gift you with my body, with my heart and with my soul. I
promise to be true to you and only to you. Nothing will ever come between us.
No rain will fall on you for I will shelter you. No harm will come to you for I
will protect you. And may the Fates do with me what they will if I break any of
my promises to you. This is my solemn vow."
"Severus, you are the other half of me. I give you everything of mine as you
mean everything to me. I gift you with my body, with my heart and with my soul.
I promise to be true to you and only to you. Nothing will ever come between us.
No rain will fall on you for I will shelter you. No harm will come to you for I
will protect you. And may the Fates do with me what they will if I break any of
my promises to you. This is my solemn vow."
"And now the rings," said Dumbledore. Ron hurried forward and handed both plain
gold bands to Dumbledore, who in turn gave one each to Harry and Severus.
Severus lifted the ring in his hand and placed it on Harry's finger; he had to
wriggle it a bit to get it on with the ribbons still binding their hands.
"Wear this as a reminder of my promises made here today."
Harry took the other ring and placed it on Severus' finger repeating the
phrase: "Wear this as a reminder of my promises made here today."
Dumbledore waved his hands again and in a moment he held a gilded goblet. He
held it out to both of them; Harry and Severus each took hold of the stem at
the same time. The goblet was filled to the brim with fresh spring water and it
was so clear that Harry could see the base of the cup.
"Drink, both of you, from the same source, to show that you two are now one."
Severus tilted the cup in Harry's direction so that he could drink first; after
a brief swallow of water he turned the cup towards Severus, both of their right
hands still on the goblet. It was a bit awkward, but they managed to share the
water without spilling any of it. They each took turns drinking until all of
the water was gone and Dumbledore was smiling at them.
"Congratulations! You are now bonded, body, heart and soul. Ladies and
gentlemen, I give you Harry and Severus!"
"Harry and Severus! Harry and Severus!" the assembled guests began chanting and
Harry felt tears of happiness well up. They had done it; they were married. He
was married to Severus!
Dumbledore tapped the ribbons binding their hands and as they disappeared,
Harry saw they were now one ribbon rather than two.
"Now gentlemen, if you'd be so kind as to sign the marriage certificate?"
Another flourish of wandless magic and Dumbledore produced the scroll for them
to sign. There was no table to lean on and Harry wondered why Dumbledore hadn't
produced one when he saw Severus looking at him with an amused grin.
"We are each other's table, Harry. We are everything to each other now," he
winked and turned around so that his back was to Harry. Harry glanced around at
Ron who was waving Harry towards Severus' back. Someone pushed a quill into
Harry's hand and then Dumbledore placed the certificate on Severus' back and
flattened it with his hands. Harry signed his name, feeling the muscles of
Severus' back rippling under his hands as he did so. How he wished he could
touch that bare skin.
Understanding now, Harry turned so that Severus could use his back to lean on
to sign the scroll.
Dumbledore clapped his hands and their marriage scroll disappeared to the
Records Office. "Now, gentlemen, you may kiss," said Dumbledore.
Severus tilted Harry's face up to his and then cupped Harry's face with both
hands. Harry's heart faltered as he saw the look of utter joy and awe that was
in Severus' eyes. He felt loved and cherished and his eyes fluttered closed as
Severus' face leaned closer to his. Harry felt a slight breath of air before he
felt the first brush of lips across his. They kissed softly for a few seconds
before Severus pulled away and Harry stared up at him, dazed. The kiss had been
far too short but looking at the heated flush on Severus' cheeks he knew they
were going to make up for it soon.
Very soon.
 
Part 29
 
As the knife held in their joined hands cut through the bottom tier of the
wedding cake, there were more whoops and cheers as well as the whirring of lots
of cameras to record the event. Harry was grinning again; his eyes on Severus
as if Severus was the only person in the world today. It had been a long time
since Severus had seen Harry smiling and carefree and he would do his best to
cultivate it. Harry had been through so much in his life that he deserved every
happiness and Severus would do his best to make sure he received it. Harry was
going to have everything he ever wanted if Severus had any say in the matter.
Harry put a slice of cake on a small plate and then offered the plate to
Severus with both hands. Severus didn't take the plate, but he took the slice
of rich fruitcake and fed it to Harry with his fingers. The crowd around them
gasped as well they might; it was a custom which had long since died out, but
Severus wanted to do it for Harry. By offering Harry the first slice of cake,
Severus was letting everyone know that he would always put Harry first in their
marriage. Always.
Severus didn't know whether or not Harry knew about the custom, but his eyes
glinted when Severus first pushed a piece of wedding cake into his mouth.
Enraptured by his new husband's face, Severus stared as Harry's eyes fluttered
closed and he sucked on Severus' fingers long after the cake had gone. Harry
seemed unaware that they had an audience and was quite happily suckling on
Severus' finger as though it was a miniature prick; and just that image had
Severus' own prick stirring in his trousers. He stifled a moan and reached out
to caress Harry's face. "Harry," he said softly, not really wanting to stop but
knowing they needed to. Their first time wasn't going to be with an audience.
Harry opened his eyes and his face flushed when he realised their guests had
been staring open-mouthed at them for the past few minutes. "Sorry," Harry
mumbled when he'd let Severus' finger go. "I forgot where we were." There were
a couple of wolf-whistles, but the perpetrators soon desisted when Molly
Weasley gave them a stern glare. Severus didn't think he'd ever seen that
colour of purple before on Seamus Finnegan's face.
As the band struck up a tune for their first dance, Severus swept Harry into
his arms and whispered close to his ear, "Later."
Harry shivered against him, but Severus didn't think it was from fear.
***
Harry had to take control of their Apparation as Severus didn't know where they
were going for their honeymoon and Harry just hoped he wouldn't splinch them.
After tearful goodbyes from Molly he and Severus changed out of their wedding
finery and into Muggle shorts and t-shirts; it was going to be hot where they
were going. Severus just kept smiling at him but he'd never asked where they
were going, quite happy for it to be a surprise.
Harry and Molly had both decided that somewhere Muggle would be preferable as
somehow their wedding date had been leaked to the Daily Prophet and they were
offering monetary rewards if anyone could discover where the hero of the
wizarding world was honeymooning and even more money if they could get
pictures! No, all in all it was decided that a Muggle honeymoon would be much
more discreet.
Harry closed his eyes concentrating on the co-ordinates needed to Apparate to
their destination. They landed on a sandy beach with a clear blue sky and even
clearer water. A few yards away there were wooden villas painted in pale
pastels, blues, yellows and pinks with white wood trims. There was a small
marina in front of the row of villas with four yachts moored there.
"Welcome to the Bahamas, Severus," smiled Harry. "Our villa is the blue one and
we have the use of a yacht for our stay as well." Harry dangled the key in
front of Severus; yelping in surprise when Severus swooped him up in his arms
and kissed him long and deep on the mouth. Severus took his hand and they ran
towards the villa, Harry giggling like schoolchild playing truant.
Harry dropped the key three times before he finally got it in the lock; Severus
kissing hungrily on his neck the whole time didn't help with his coordination.
His cock was already tenting the front of his shorts and there was a small damp
patch at the tip. There was a small table in the hallway with a gaily wrapped
gift basket of fruit but Harry had barely noticed it before the door closed and
he was pushed up against the wall and pinned there by the weight of his
husband. He was in a cage of flesh and bone but this was one prison he didn't
want to escape.
Harry's heart was pounding and his breathing was erratic as Severus kept him
there and just gazed into his eyes. How could just a look affect him so much?
"Severus!" Harry moaned, so hard already with only that intense look. "Please!"
"Please what, Harry? Do you want me to kiss you? To lick you? To suck you? To
swallow you whole?"
"Oh, God! Anything!" gasped Harry, not even caring that they hadn't made it to
the bedroom yet; he was too aroused to want to move anywhere else. He thrust
his hips shamelessly against Severus' lower body and was rewarded with a deep
guttural moan from Severus' throat.
Severus gripped Harry's head hard in his hands and began kissing Harry like a
man possessed. It wasn't soft, it wasn't gentle; it was a claming, a devouring
and Harry revelled in the possessiveness of it. He belonged to Severus now,
they belonged to each other. Severus pressed one thigh between Harry's legs and
Harry rutted up against it, the pressure a welcome relief on his cock. God, he
was so hard! Everything Severus was doing to him was taking him closer and
closer to the edge and Harry wanted nothing better than to throw himself off
and into bliss.
His hands grabbed at Severus' back, rubbing up and down as he all but bounced
against him. Severus thrust his tongue roughly into Harry's mouth and their
moans and gasps echoed in each other's throats. Harry could feel the evidence
of Severus' desire pressing into his abdomen and his cock throbbed and jerked
with how much Harry was affecting Severus as well. He could feel the tension
coiling at the base of his belly and in his balls; Harry knew he risked coming
if they kept this up but it was feeling too good to stop. His cock ached and
throbbed with his impending orgasm and when Severus stopped kissing his mouth
and bit down on Harry's shoulder, it was too much.
"AHH! AHH! AHH!" Harry cried out in ecstasy, pulling Severus' body flush
against his and squeezing his legs around Severus' thigh as the climax tore
through him. Pulse after pulse left his cock and soaked his shorts, some of it
even seeping onto Severus' legs. His whole body was convulsing as the orgasm
just went on and on. "Oh God! Oh God!" moaned Harry, clinging weakly to Severus
as the final spurts left him. Harry's legs had turned to water and if Severus
hadn't been supporting him he would have slid to the floor.
Before Harry had quite recovered, Severus scooped him up in his arms and
carried him over the threshold of the bedroom; Harry's arms wrapped around his
neck. Once again, Harry was pinned by Severus, but this time it was on a bed
and as Severus kissed him even more roughly than before; it wasn't long before
the old fear was coming back. This time Harry didn't have his own arousal to
distract him and he was starting to panic. His mouth was dry and his heart was
beating even faster but with fear this time rather than desire.
"Harry?" Severus stopped kissing him, as if he'd realised how tense Harry's
body had become. Harry didn't want to do it; even through his clothes Severus
had seemed so big and Harry couldn't imagine how it wouldn't hurt. The rapes
had always hurt him.
"Just remembering," said Harry softly. "It always hurt before."
"Oh, Harry," said Severus. "We don't have to do this now, not if you don't feel
ready. We've got a lifetime together, we don't have to do everything at once."
"You're disappointed, aren't you?"
"Harry, I'm not going to lie and say I don't desire you, for I do and one day I
would very much like to fuck you, but there are other ways for us to enjoy
pleasure as well. Intercourse isn't the be all and end all of sex. Only when
you're ready, I promised you that." Severus leaned over and kissed him softly.
"Lie down," said Harry, noting that Severus was still hard after their earlier
play. Once Severus was settled on his back, Harry straddled his legs and tugged
off Severus' shoes and then pulled down his shorts. As Harry bent his head
towards Severus' groin, Severus tilted his head up to look at him.
"Harry, you don't have to do anything you don't want."
"I know," said Harry. "But I want to do this for you." It was the truth, Harry
wanted to do something special for Severus after all he'd done for Harry and
since he wasn't feeling ready for intercourse yet, he hoped this would be the
next best thing. After all the times he'd had this particular act forced on
him, Harry was surprised at how eager he was to taste Severus. He smiled up at
his husband. "Can you tell me when you're going to come? I don't think I can
swallow," Harry admitted, remembering all the times he'd been forced to do just
that and almost choked.
"Of course," said Severus, his cheeks flushed with arousal. Harry bent his head
and gave a tentative lick to the tip of Severus' cock, gathering the precome
there. It was a strange taste, but not distasteful. Above him Severus moaned
and caressed Harry's hair, but he didn't grab it or hold Harry in place. Harry
was in control here and that made it so much different to what had happened in
the past.
Harry swallowed half of Severus' cock in his mouth and began sucking as hard as
he could. As he'd expected, Severus was larger than Harry and there was no way
Harry would have been able to fit all of Severus' cock in. He wasn't just long,
he was broad too and Harry's jaws were as wide as he could make them as he
licked and pressed his tongue against his husband's prick.
Severus was making delightful moans and growls now as Harry got into a steady
rhythm. Harry hoped Severus would come soon, his jaw was aching but he just
speeded up his ministrations and a few moments later, Severus howled.
"HARRY! Now, Harry! I'm coming! Arrgh! I'm coming! Ahh!"
Harry lifted his mouth and watched in fascination as Severus grabbed hold of
his cock and rubbed it frantically until jets of seed erupted out of it to land
on Severus' hand and belly. God, there was so much of it! Severus was writhing
on the bed, his limbs trembling as he milked every last drop from his cock.
Harry couldn't stop staring at the spilled seed. He looked deep into Severus'
eyes and then leaned down to lick it from Severus' hand and body.
"Harry!" Severus moaned and as Harry licked Severus' stomach clean, he felt the
muscles beneath him quiver. "Oh, Harry, do you know what you do to me?"
Harry looked up and grinned. "I have some idea."
Part 30
Severus couldn't believe how responsive Harry was, especially on his neck and
shoulders. He was lazily nibbling on Harry's neck at the junction of the
shoulder after they'd both sucked each other off. White, gauzy curtains
billowed in the salt-scented breeze that wafted through the open windows and
cooled their heated skin. The bedroom was awash with the scent of sex and sweat
and still Harry moaned and writhed on the bed. A quick glance down and Severus
saw Harry's cock was hardening again, standing up from its nest of dark curls.
Some semen still glistened there like cream on black velvet and Severus wanted
to taste him again.
Harry's hands tangled in Severus' hair as his young husband trembled against
him, as if he hadn't quite got control of his limbs yet. After the orgasm
Severus had just swallowed from him, he wasn't surprised. For five days they'd
never left the villa, hardly left the bed except to use the toilet. They bathed
and showered together, not even able to be away from each other for such a
short time before pouncing for more kisses and more caresses. Severus couldn't
get enough of him and it appeared the same was true for Harry as well.
Food was delivered to the front door of their villa every day and although
Severus knew they needed to eat it was always a wrench to leave the comfort of
the bed and Harry's embrace to go and fetch it. He made sure to prepare meals
they could eat easily in bed, feeding and teasing each other with their fingers
until the food was discarded and they gave in to the call of other, more
fleshly hungers once again.
Severus let his hands skim across Harry's chest, tweaking each nipple in turn.
Harry yelped and arched up off the bed. "Fuck! Oh, God, Severus! I'm so hard!"
Severus smirked against his neck. "Indeed you are. And hot. And beautiful."
Severus kissed a trail across Harry's collarbone and then down his chest and
licked the spent seed from his groin, but made no move to touch his cock just
yet. Severus intended to tease his husband a little today and maybe give him a
little surprise too. For all that had happened to Harry he was quite an
innocent in sexual pleasures and Severus was determined to show him what other
pleasures awaited with lips and tongue.
They'd both had a shower before their latest bout of lovemaking and Severus
knew Harry was clean, very clean as he had been the one to wield the sponge on
him. Instead of taking Harry's cock in his mouth, which Severus knew Harry was
expecting (he'd taken to having his cock sucked like a duck to water – no one
had ever done it to him before), Severus kissed his way all around Harry's
groin and then both thighs. Harry was gasping and mewling in pleasure, his cock
already leaking copious precome. Severus saw Harry's hands fisting in the
bedclothes as he tried to keep control of himself, but Severus wanted him to
lose control completely.
There was nothing more beautiful than Harry lost in ecstasy.
Severus continued licking Harry's thighs until Harry's breathing hitched and
his legs parted as if of their own accord. Harry had stopped gripping the
sheets, now his fingers were wrapped so tightly around the slats of the
headboard that his knuckles were white. "Severus! Please!" Harry begged, his
voice almost hoarse. Severus grinned against Harry's skin; he loved to hear his
husband beg. That raw need in Harry's voice, that desire sent a pulse of
arousal straight to Severus' groin and he couldn't stop the moan it engendered.
Severus gave one last kiss to the top of Harry's right thigh and then scooted
down the bed.
He laid his head in between Harry's thighs and pushed Harry's legs apart as far
as he could before nipping softly on Harry's perineum. "Oh God! Oh God! Oh
God!" groaned Harry over and over again, his hips bucking wildly. Severus
pushed down on Harry's thighs to keep him steady and gave him a tantalising
lick from sac to tailbone. Harry yowled and Severus could feel Harry's muscles
tensing as he tried to arch into it but Severus' hands were preventing him from
moving too much. "Fuck! Severus! What are you doing?"
"Don't you like it?" asked Severus, lifting his head and was pleasantly
surprised to see Harry blush. They'd been naked and rutting for almost a week
and he could still make his husband blush?
"It's not that - is it - am I clean?" Harry asked with a frown.
"Of course you are," Severus smiled up at him and bent his head, licking him
even more firmly this time to prove it.
***
It was the strangest sensation Harry had ever felt. It wasn't as if he'd never
had anything up there before, but it had never been a tongue, never been
Severus' tongue. The tongue was so soft and wet, it wasn't hurting Harry at
all, not like those men had done. He just felt stretched and full and wet, but
it was a good sensation and his cock was throbbing with every stab of Severus'
tongue inside him. Harry had strange fluttery feelings in his chest and stomach
that Severus would be willing to give him so much pleasure without asking for
anything in return. After their talk that first night, Severus had never pushed
Harry to do any more than he felt ready for.
Severus wiggled his tongue about and precome shot out the end of Harry's cock.
Oh, God! This felt so bloody good! Harry had never imagined anything like this
before. Both of them were breathing heavily and Harry could hear Severus
slurping at him as if Harry was a particularly tasty dessert. Did he think this
was good? It was fucking brilliant! Harry could feel himself stretching,
relaxing back there but his cock was harder than he'd ever felt it before.
"Severus! Stop!" Harry gasped out, his fingers clenching around the headboard.
Severus looked up. "Harry? Did I hurt you?"
"No, I just don't want to come yet. I want you inside me, Severus. I want to
come with you inside me."
Severus' eyes darkened at his words and Harry knew Severus was struggling to
control himself. Harry knew Severus wanted that but he was willing to wait
until Harry was ready. With his cock hard and throbbing between his legs and
his arse already feeling empty, Harry knew he'd never feel more ready than he
did now.
"Harry, we don't have to do that, I told you."
"I know we don't have to. I want to. With you. Unless you don't want to?
Please, Severus. Please. I want this. I need this. I need you." Harry knew
Severus' resolve was wavering; Harry knew how much Severus loved hearing him
beg and plead. "Please!"
"If you're sure," croaked Severus as if he couldn't quite believe his luck.
Severus rummaged in the bedside cabinet for the lubrication and began to
stretch and prepare Harry with his fingers. Harry was still so open and relaxed
after Severus had been kissing him there that even three fingers didn't hurt at
all. His cock being so broad, Severus added a fourth finger and as he crooked
them inside, Harry felt an explosion of pleasure so intense he thought at first
that he'd come unexpectedly, but his cock was still hard and the need was still
there.
Harry impaled himself on those fingers again and again as the pleasure washed
over him. "In me! Oh God! In me!" gabbled Harry, almost beyond coherency as
Severus worked his magic on Harry's body. When Severus removed his fingers,
Harry's arse twitched, aching and empty but he was soon filled with something
thicker and firmer than fingers. Harry wrapped his legs around Severus' back as
Severus entered him slowly. It was a bit painful at first and Harry's cock had
lost some of its firmness but it got better the deeper Severus went.
"Breathe, Harry, breathe," suggested Severus and Harry realised he'd been
holding his breath for some time. He let it out in a rush, feeling light-
headed. Severus moved again until he was fully seated and Harry could feel his
husband's bollocks right up against his arse.
"Okay?"
Harry nodded. "You can move, Severus."
Severus started thrusting, quite slow and gentle at first but soon that wasn't
enough for Harry, not when with every second stroke Severus touched that magic
spot inside him again. White light exploded behind his eyelids and he was
desperate to come by now. His whole body was aching, but in a good way. Tension
coiled deep in his belly and balls, along the edge of his cock and he knew it
wouldn't take much more.
"Harder!" gasped Harry, drumming his heels on Severus' back and pulling
Severus' body towards him. Severus took him at his word as if he'd been waiting
to hear Harry say just that and he began pounding Harry into the mattress. They
were wild, clawing at each other, claiming brutal kisses when they could as
Severus thrust into him again and again. The headboard was rattling on the wall
behind them, the mattress squeaking with every move they made.
"Touch yourself, Harry," panted Severus. "I want to feel you come."
Harry grabbed hold of his cock and knew it wasn't going to be long. Two, three
tugs and he was spurting jets of white, pearly fluid over his hand and chest,
some of it even landed on Severus' cheek. "Fuck! Fuck!" Harry screamed as the
climax roared through him. His whole body was shuddering; suddenly Severus
stiffened above him, crying, "Harry!” and Harry felt himself filled with wet
warmth. It caused his cock to jerk again and some more come pulsed out of him,
almost like a mini-orgasm. Harry pulled Severus' head down towards him to kiss
him deeply, uncaring that both of them were sweaty and covered in come. It
didn't matter.
They were both gasping for breath when the kiss finished. "Harry? Are you all
right?"
"I'm fine, Severus. I had no idea it could feel like that. I love you."
"I love you too." Severus wrinkled his nose at the state of both of them and
the bed. "Do you think we ought to have a shower?"
"Only if it's together," grinned Harry. Already his cock was twitching as Harry
imagined being cleaned very thoroughly by his husband and he sighed happily to
himself.
"You're insatiable, you know that?" laughed Severus, glancing at Harry's cock.
"But you love it," grinned Harry.
"I do indeed, Harry. I do indeed."
 
Part 31
"Welcome home, Harry," Severus whispered in his ear as he scooped Harry up in
his arms and opened the door of the shop with the tip of his foot. Harry's arms
clung to his new husband's neck as he was carried over the threshold of their
new home and he licked along Severus' neck.
It had taken a bit of time and a lot of magical help from their family and
friends but finally Sundae Best was ready to open to the public and after a few
days rest they would be going into business together. Sometimes Harry had to
pinch himself just to convince himself that it was all real.
"We'll have to start christening the rooms," Harry smiled at him, seeing
Severus' eyes twinkling. As Severus closed the door behind him with his foot
and cast a wandless locking charm, he bent his head and kissed Harry deeply on
the mouth. Still in his arms, Harry felt as if he was flying. Harry dimly
wondered if any of the shoppers thronging Diagon Alley could see them kissing
but with the wonderful things Severus was doing to his tongue, he found he
didn't really care that much. Let them watch, perhaps they'd pick up a few
pointers.
"Where should we start?" asked Severus when both of them had to stop kissing in
order to breathe. Harry could feel an erection digging into his hip.
"How about the storeroom?" suggested Harry.
"The storeroom? It's not very romantic, is it?"
"No, but it's sexy, isn't it? We can pretend we're back at school and I'm in
the Potions storeroom for detention. I've been a very naughty boy, Professor,"
Harry breathed out.
Severus groaned and claimed his mouth in another heated kiss.
"Or how about we all pretend none of us heard that?"
"Ron!" gasped Harry, pulling his mouth away to see Ron standing up behind the
counter along with Molly, Arthur, Bill, Ginny, Fred, George, Seamus, Neville
and Dean.
"Surprise!" said the twins with broad grins as they set off some of their
fireworks which wrote "Welcome Home, Harry and Severus" in blue and green
sparkles.
Severus set Harry down on the floor; both of them blushing. How much of that
did they see and hear? Well, it certainly was a surprise, that's for sure!
"We just wanted to welcome you both home," said Molly, her eyes glistening with
tears. In the next instant she was around the front of the counter and hugging
Harry as if she hadn't seen him for years. "You're so thin!" she wailed.
"Didn't you eat?"
That got Harry blushing again; the truth was that for most of the time they'd
been on their honeymoon he had other things on his mind besides food and his
appetite had suffered accordingly. Having Severus' cock up his arse had seemed
more of a priority than getting food in his belly and even as he thought it,
the arse in question gave a little twitch and Harry was just glad that having
his mother hugging him was enough to dampen his libido and he wasn't sporting
an erection at the moment.
"Did you have a nice time?" asked Ginny. "What were the Bahamas like?"
"The Bahamas?" Bill asked, his face breaking out into a broad grin. "You're
both so pale; did you ever leave the room?"
"Bill! Don't be so uncouth!" admonished Molly but Harry couldn't help the shy
grin he gave to his brother. All the boys giggled, much to Molly and Ginny's
chagrin.
"All set for the big opening?" asked Arthur after he'd composed himself but
Harry couldn't help it; he ended up laughing so much that tears were running
down his cheeks and he had to clutch at a stitch in his sides. He had sex on
the brain lately and he couldn't help wondering when Severus might be opening
him again.
"Yes," said Severus, wrapping his arms around Harry and giving him a squeeze.
"We're ready."
***
Harry flopped down on the sofa and toed off his shoes. His feet were killing
him and as he began to rub them through his socks, he felt a soft kiss in his
hair. The shop had been busy from the first moment they'd opened their doors
and even though the students had gone back to school a few days ago, the crowds
hadn't diminished. They'd had to hire two part time staff just to cope. At
first Harry thought they were getting customers because as well as getting the
shop, they'd also got Fortescue's ice-cream recipes, but Severus' own home made
ice-creams were outselling Fortescue's four to one.
"Allow me," said Severus coming round to the front of the sofa and sinking to
his knees in front of it. Harry sighed with delight and let his head fall back
against the sofa cushions. Severus' hands were much better at getting the aches
and pains out of Harry's feet than his own hands or even a spell was. Harry
moaned as Severus tugged off his socks and he felt the shock of bare flesh
against his own. Severus gazed up at him, dark eyes glittering in the firelight
as he bestowed a kiss on the sole of his left foot and then the right one.
As Severus began to knead Harry's feet, his gaze never left him and Harry was
gasping for breath. It wasn't the fact that Severus was touching his feet that
was making him feel aroused; it was the look that was on Severus' face as he
continued to stare at Harry even as he massaged his feet. The awe on Severus'
face; the desire; the sheer need; the want. Harry arched his hips off the sofa
and had to close his eyes. Much more of that intense gaze and he was going to
come in his trousers. "Severus!" he panted, his hands blindly reaching for
Severus' hair.
"Enjoying that, husband?" asked Severus and Harry could almost see Severus'
smirk in his mind's eye.
"You know I am," gasped Harry. "Please! Oh God, touch me!"
"I am touching you."
Harry grunted in frustration. "You know that's not what I meant." He opened his
eyes to find Severus grinning at him and before Harry could say anything else,
Severus waved his wand and divested Harry of all his clothes.
"Oh! Oh fuck!" shrieked Harry.
"Soon," promised Severus. "Come down here and turn over."
Harry swallowed but did as instructed, shivering at the commanding tone of
Severus' voice. As he turned to face the sofa and lean over it, he arched his
neck back to look at his husband. "Aren't you getting undressed?"
"In a minute. This is all about you, Harry. Just relax and enjoy it." Severus
pushed Harry's upper body down flat on the sofa so that Harry's arse was
sticking up in the air and Harry couldn't help whimpering. Oh God! Severus was
going to do it again, wasn't he? Lick him, suck him there and Harry's heart
thumped madly against his chest just at the thought of it.
His cock was pulsing with arousal and Harry just knew his whole body was
flushed, he felt so hot. At the first swipe of Severus' tongue he let out a
wail and grabbed hold of one of the cushions, clenching his fingers around it.
Severus held him open with those wonderful hands as he licked and licked until
Harry was nothing but an incoherent pile of goo. "Ungh!" Harry grunted as
Severus pierced him with his tongue and made Harry feel as if he was flying
without the benefit of a broom.
***
Severus was getting more and more aroused the longer he was on his knees
pleasuring Harry. There was something so powerful in knowing that he was the
one forcing Harry to make those wonderful noises: little gasps and moans of
desire that went straight to Severus' prick. From the hitch in Harry's
breathing and the way Harry was arching back against his tongue in an erratic
fashion, Severus knew Harry was close to climax and he almost came himself at
imagining those muscles clenching around his cock. He fumbled for his wand on
the floor and summoned the lubricant from their bedroom and then cast the same
spell on himself that he'd used on Harry so that they were both naked.
Harry had heard the jar slapping into Severus' hand and he turned his head over
his shoulder and shivered. "Ahh! Please! Please! Don't stop! Oh God, don't
stop!"
Severus prepared Harry as quickly as they could get away with; he wanted to be
enclosed in that tight heat once again and by the way was impaling himself on
Severus' slicked fingers, he knew Harry wanted it too. "Ready, Harry?" Severus
asked, kissing Harry's shoulder and finding Harry's prostate at the same time.
Harry shrieked.
"Do it! Do it!" gasped Harry and Severus was only too happy to oblige. Merlin,
he loved this. Loved that first slide into Harry as his cock was gripped with
walls like velvet and he had to go slow or he'd be finished before they
started. But Harry had been teased too long to want to go slowly and he thrust
back against him like a wild man, without words urging Severus to go faster.
Severus gripped Harry's hips and started pounding into him as if there was no
tomorrow. And there wasn't, not really. There was only now and heat and Harry.
It was too good, just like always and all too soon Severus felt the ache of
need coiling deep within him. "Harry! Come! Come for me!"
Harry didn't even touch his cock; his hands were still gripping the cushion,
but the order had been enough. He screamed wordlessly and came; the clenching
muscles of his arse enough to send Severus over the edge too. White hot
pleasure engulfed him as he spurted deep within his husband's body. The orgasm
seemed to last forever as Harry's body squeezed him until Severus felt there
was nothing left inside him.
"Harry? Are you all right?" Severus worried he might have become a bit rough
towards the end, he'd been so lost in the moment.
"I'm fine," Harry glanced over his shoulder and grinned. His face was flushed
and his eyes were sparkling like emeralds. There were no shadows in his eyes
tonight and Severus was amazed anew at how resilient his husband was. After all
he'd been through, he could still find pleasure in the arms of the man he loved
and Severus knew that's what made it so different with Harry. When they made
love, they weren't just joining their bodies, they were joining their souls.
"I love you," said Severus.
A discreet cough from behind them had Harry pulling down the blanket on the
back of the sofa and covering their nudity. Severus found he didn't really
care; he was too sated and sleepy to care who was in the Floo this evening, but
he soon woke up when he turned and saw Neville Longbottom's head in the fire.
Neville had become an apprentice Healer at St. Mungo's.
"Professor, Harry. I'm sorry to bother you..."
"Is it the baby?" Harry asked at once.
Longbottom nodded. "Hermione went into labour about an hour ago."
 
As soon as they arrived at St. Mungo's, Neville was waiting for them in the
downstairs foyer and soon led them up to the fifth floor corridor where Harry
had first heard the news he was about to become a father. In the room down the
corridor they heard screams before they were cut off as someone, probably one
of the Healers, cast a silencing charm. There was nurse on the desk today but
the wall still held the same pictures of tulips and seascapes.
Dressed in the sage green robes of an apprentice Healer, Neville was a measure
of calm as he offered them tea or coffee or something cool to drink, but Harry
couldn't face anything. He didn't feel calm; it was too early. The baby wasn't
due for at least another three weeks. Instead of the excitement Harry felt he
ought to be feeling; Harry felt little but sheer terror. What if there was
something wrong with the baby because it was so early? What if - what if - but
his mind was having trouble even considering that option, but it was an option,
wasn't it? Babies died all the time, even ones who hadn't been premature.
A Healer popped his head out the door and called for Neville. Once he was gone,
Harry paced up and down the corridor, he couldn't just sit in those chairs and
wait for the news. Severus didn't try and placate him by telling him that
things were going to be all right for they both knew it would be a lie. They
had no way of knowing and they had to prepare themselves in case things didn't
go right.
Severus wrapped Harry in his arms and stroked his back, neither of them
speaking. They didn't need to speak.
Harry had no idea how long they waited in that corridor before Neville and the
Healer came out of Hermione's room. The Healer and Neville both had broad grins
on their faces; Harry almost fainted in relief. He clung hard to Severus so
that he wouldn't fall.
"Congratulations, it's a boy," said the Healer, with Neville nodding
enthusiastically by his side.
"A son?" asked Harry in a daze. "I have a son? And he's all right? He was too
early, wasn't he?"
"He's perfectly healthy," said the Healer. "He's just a little on the small
side but everything is working as it should and you should be able to take him
home in a few days."
"A few days? I thought we could take him home today," said Harry.
"The birth can be traumatic for the child as well, it's best for the baby to
spend a few days in the hospital just to be sure he's all right. He'll be due
his first feed soon; we can ask the mother to express some milk."
"No!" Harry and Severus both said at once. "I don't want her to have anything
to do with the baby. She has no legal rights," Harry continued. This was true,
after being convicted of molesting Harry and being sentenced to Azkaban, any
rights Hermione had ever had to the child had been revoked by the Magical Law
Enforcement office. The baby was Harry and Severus' responsibility now and
Harry wanted nothing from Hermione Granger. Nothing.
"Very well, Apprentice Longbottom, please take the baby to the nursery and
arrange for formula milk. Perhaps you'd like to give him his bottle once he's
settled?"
Harry nodded, his heart thudding against his chest with the knowledge that soon
he was going to be seeing his son. Their son! Dear God, they had a son. It was
like a dream, everything felt very unreal.
"Yes, sir," said Neville as he went into Hermione's room again. A few moments
later, Neville came rushing out.
"They're gone!"
"Longbottom, what are you talking about?"
"Hermione and the baby, sir! They're gone!"
The world in front of Harry greyed out and he had to sit down before he fell
down.
"What do you mean they're gone? Gone where? You can't Apparate in or out of the
closed ward!" The Healer marched to the room and came back out, his face pale.
He waved his wand and in the next instant an alarm sounded throughout the
hospital. It was too much; despite Severus' arms around him, Harry fainted.
***
When he came round, he was lying on a hospital bed and Severus was sitting on a
chair next to him. Harry remembered what had happened. Their baby. Gone. There
was a hollow ache in his middle, as if a baby-shaped hole had somehow been
carved out of him. He clutched his midriff and began to cry softly.
"Ssh, Harry, ssh, it's all right," said Severus, climbing onto the bed and
wrapping Harry up in a strong embrace. Harry bawled against Severus' robes,
finding it difficult to breathe. His throat ached and his nose was getting
stuffy as he wept and wept, shuddering in Severus' arms.
"Harry, they found them. They found them."
"What?"
"He's here," Severus placed his hands on Harry's head and turned him towards
the other side of the room where a small wooden cradle was up against the wall.
Harry jumped down from the bed and ran to the cradle. Inside his son was asleep
with his thumb in his mouth. The baby had a thatch of dark hair with a few
chestnut highlights when the light caught it just right. Harry felt his heart
falter for a moment as he gazed down at their child. His legs felt rubbery as
he just stared and stared. He was beautiful.
"What happened? Where did they go?" asked Harry, turning round to face Severus.
"The Healer was right, you couldn't Apparate from that ward, but we were so
busy talking with him and Neville that Hermione slipped out unseen and hid in
one of the bathrooms. She was hoping to run away with the baby; she never
wanted to give him up."
"It wasn't her choice! She raped me!" spat Harry, the windows rattling in their
frames. He had to consciously pull the magic back. "She lost any rights to this
child the day she forced me to conceive him!"
"I know, Harry," said Severus softly. "Once the alarm went off, everyone was
searching for them and they were found quite quickly."
"Where is she now?"
"She's under Auror guard in one of the private rooms. Once she's recovered from
the birth, they'll take her straight to Azkaban."
Harry ran back to Severus and wrapped his arms around his husband. "God,
Severus, we could have lost him!"
"But we didn't," said Severus, tilting Harry's face up so that he could kiss
him and wipe the tear tracks away.
The Healer knocked on the doorjamb but came in without waiting for an
invitation. Harry felt so irritated with the man and glared at him. "I just
have some paperwork for you to sign and then you and your husband can get back
home."
Harry stiffened in Severus' arms.
"You are suffering from a grave misapprehension if you think for one moment we
are leaving our son alone here," said Severus. "The security in this hospital
is appalling. We are taking him home at once."
"You can't take him home yet," protested the Healer.
"Is he ill?"
"No, but -"
"Is he any immediate danger?"
"No, but -"
"I have a Mastery in Mediwizardry," said Severus. "I daresay I can look after
my son as well as if not better than some of the people here."
The Healer flushed. "It was an unfortunate incident, nothing more."
"Unfortunate? Our son was almost kidnapped!" said Harry. "And we are taking him
home."
"Very well, as long as you agree to sign that you are taking him home against a
Healer's advice."
"Fine, where are the bloody papers?" said Harry.
The Healer waved his wand and a sheaf of scrolls fell onto the bed. Harry and
Severus both signed them all and at long last they were ready to take their son
home.
"Have you thought of a name?" asked the Healer.
"We have," said Harry. "But it's none of your business." With that, he lifted
out the sleeping baby and held him securely in his arms. Severus took hold of
Harry's arm and in an instant had Disapparated them all out of the hospital and
straight into the nursery of their flat.
The baby woke at once and began crying; Severus kissed Harry's head and went to
prepare a bottle for him. Harry snuggled the boy against his shoulder and
crooned to him until Severus came back upstairs with his bottle. Both of them
couldn't stop grinning.
"His eyes are blue," said Harry when he turned the baby round to feed him.
"Most newborns have blue eyes," said Severus. "They change to their normal
colour in their next few weeks. Had you decided on a name, Harry? Or were you
just saying that to annoy the Healer?"
"A bit of both really," said Harry as he fed the bottle. The baby sucked
greedily and Harry still couldn't believe how small he was. "I quite like the
name Aidan."
"Aidan? That means 'little fire' doesn't it?"
Harry nodded. "I saw it one of the baby books, it suits him, don't you think?"
Severus leaned over and kissed Aidan's head. "So do we have another fiery
Gryffindor, do you think?"
"Harry! Severus?" came Molly's voice from the kitchen.
"Up here! We're in the nursery," Harry called back downstairs. In a few moments
the room was packed with all of his family as they looked agog at the new
addition. Aidan finished the bottle and was gurgling happily by the time all
the Weasleys had squeezed into the nursery.
"What a beautiful baby," said Molly. "Congratulations, both of you. We'll have
to arrange the naming ceremony soon, we don't want him taken by the fairies!"
laughed Molly.
Harry swayed and almost dropped Aidan. Severus took the baby from him and
draped him over his shoulder, patting his back to wind him. "Can we have the
ceremony today?" asked Harry, sinking into the rocking chair.
"Harry dear, what's wrong?" asked Molly.
"Granger almost ran off with the baby earlier today," said Severus. "As you can
imagine we were a bit distraught."
"Merlin, Harry. Are you all right?" asked Ron, perching himself on the arm of
Harry's chair.
Harry looked around him, at his family: his parents, his brothers and sister;
his husband and his child. He smiled at all of them. It had been a long road
but finally he'd done it.
"I'm fine," said Harry.
And he was. He'd found his way home.
 
THE END
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